Why am I afraid to make plans or call people?

Question

It's not just using the phone that bothers me or talking to strangers. It's like - I'm afraid to call up my own friends and family. I have a very small number of people that I'm comfortable with talking to or haning out with.

Answer 1

You have a fear of rejection and low self-esteem. Do you not know that your company is valued and enjoyed?

Learn who you are. Feel proud of who you are and you will begin to feel confident in your existence. Don't shy away from others to protect yourself. Living in that fear, you're only reinforcing them.

Challenge them!

Answer 2

I have the same problem and I HATE it! I feel like I have nothing to say to people most of the time. I'm also scared of sounding/looking stupid. I avoid my friends and family and hate picking up the phone. If someone tried to make plans with me, I usally make up an excuse to cancel. I just don't like being around people. It makes it really hard to get a job or stick to commitments that you make. I agree, there are some people who I do feel comfortable around too but these people are few.

If you have a job, it's a good place to meet people. You have to see them every day so it gives you the chance to get used to them and be more like yourself. It's good to try to talk to people at work/school cause you're all on neutral territory. You can go home at the end of the day, by yourself, and relax again.

I force myself to go to play group with my kid once a week.. I go to the library sometimes.. I go to Walmart once in a while with one person. Force yourself to do the same kinds of things. You'll feel better about yourself after you survive the day.

I'm taking a drug for Anxiety Disorder called Effexor. It has helped a bit but doesn't totally make me brave or anything. Many of these drugs have nasty side-effects so make sure you read about them on lots of websites before you let the doctor talk you into taking any. Effexor makes you dizzy and sick and angry when you forget to take it.
You've heard people say, "so-and-so must be off their meds.." as a joke when a person is acting weird? It really does happen. So be careful.. cause some of those drugs have strong withdrawl symptoms.

Good luck.

Answer 3

I'm sorry to say, but this is something that you are going to have to do for yourself. This is something that only you can do. There are always going to be times when you don't feel comfortable or you are too scared to do, but chances are you will get through them and think it was so easy. So just calm down and relax. Take a breather and then call. There is absolutely nothing to be afraid of, you are not the only one in the world who has had to do this, or has been afraid to do this. When you call, let them know that you are nervous, and they will assure you to not be nervous, and they will help you through everything. Hope I helped :)

Answer 4

Probably you seek approval from everyone You want people to appreciate you for everything you do Or you dont want anyone to oppose you, reject your views, or you are very different person. I wouldnt say you are introvert but may be you are different thinker. Check out whether you are a person who speaks more about goals, success, growth etc. Be sure you will have less friends. Most of the people are more interested in just talks. R others comfortable with you? Just think about this. How do others look at you also decides your nature? Remember noone is shy, no one is introvert, none is separate species. Just do it and do it without purpose. You do it often. You dont have to have a topic or subject to talk to your friends, relatives, or strangers. Just talk. Once you start doing it believe me you will be comfortable with anyone.

Answer 5

I have this same problem and it's called "Social Anxiety Disorder".
I hate to talk on the phone, I don't like to go out among people, sometimes even family and friends. S

Supposedly there are some antidepressant meds you can take, (I think Paxil) is one, if it's still on the market after all of the lawsuits, that will help with this.

If you have a doctor, talk to him or her if it really bothers you.

Answer 6

You might just need to build your confidence and social comfort levels a bit more.

This site is full of self esteem and confidence building resources, and tons of free self help books about being happy, getting healthy and also managing your money.

This was in the last newsletter yesterday:

LEARN HOW TO BE CONFIDENT

When it comes to dating, confidence is the underlying biggest ‘turn-on’ for people.

There is no denying that confidence is sexy and people are attracted to it. Not only that, but it will also help you ask for a date. But there is good news for those who lack confidence – Confidence is a skill people learn. It is not part of the gene pool, so no one is born with it. Confidence is also tricky. Too much confidence can come across as arrogance, but if you don’t have enough confidence people may treat you like a doormat.

What is unusual about confidence is that you can fake it until you make it. In other words, if you put on a confident front it can help make you feel confident on the inside and when you start to feel confident on the inside it is obvious on the outside.




CONFIDENCE GUIDELINES

• Consider your posture

• Smile

• Have a firm handshake – When you meet someone for the first time in a new situation, confidently hold out hand and give a firm handshake. This applies to both men and women.

• Use positive eye contact – When you look someone in the eye you are telling him or her you are strong and confident. Note: Don’t turn it into a war of wills, or a staring contest, and remember to look away occasionally.

• Use a strong voice – The sound we produce with our vocal chords can be strong, powerful, smooth, sexy, etc. It is a great instrument. It also says a lot about who we are; that is, speak too softly and people may assume you are afraid to speak up. A simple guide for speaking is breathe, speak slowly and speak up.

SELF-ESTEEM

Confidence is ultimately an expression of self-esteem.

Self-esteem is definitely something you can work on.

Try these suggestions to boost your self-esteem:

• Do something challenging – Do something you would normally think you couldn’t do. That might be as small as reading Romeo and Juliet or as extreme as doing a sky-dive. Whatever it is, push your boundaries and when you succeed at it you will like yourself more.

• Do some volunteer work – Besides being a great way to help others and meet potential dates, you will garner appreciation for your work and who you are. This is certain to boost your self-esteem.

• Practise positive self talk – Every day we look in the mirror at least once and some of us forty times or more. Each time we look in the mirror we tell ourselves things. The self-talk can be positive or negative.

People tend to be negative in their self-talk, but we do have a choice. Make an effort to say positive things about yourself when you look in the mirror.

• Every day we all look in the mirror at least once and some of us forty times or more. Each time we mirror-look we also do a self-talk.

The self-talk can be positive or negative. People tend to be negative in their self-talk but we have a choice.

Maybe a free subscription would help you?

http://www.personal-enterprise-self-help-resources.com/

Answer 7

weird i have felt the same way at times
i remember going by my BEST friends house and I just kept walking i didn't stop iw as a fraid for some reason!
i found out that i was just insurcure with myself! it was hard to over come but when you take risks in your life you feel so much better about yourself and have the confence to call or knock on someones door!
check out Coping.org if you want it's free and has lots of questions that will get you thinking about yourself!
Good luck
Mad luv

Answer 8

Sounds to me like some type of social phobia. I suffer from Generalized Anxiety Disorder and not wanting to leave the house was a MAJOR problem. I'm taking meds now, I'm better----Not cured. Go to the doctor and explain your problem.

Answer 9

Afraid of being rejected? There is nothing worse than someone not wanting to hang out with you. Sometimes I am just sick of bothering. I am sick of inviting people places and they never can or want to go. It makes me feel like they don't care to take time out of their life for me, so I am sick of making time for them. I understand although I do still call my friends anyways...some of them.

Answer 10

Being an alien and studying the human race I have found a simple yet effective reason for the feelings that you are having. PEOPLE SUCK! Once most earthlings adopt this attitude as fact they tend to lead a happier and healthier life. You see on my planet we are kind and considerate to one another. Nobody commits crimes because their are no laws to break. Material object belong to nobody and everybody. I believe here on Earth you have a funny little saying "what is mine is yours" but hold no truth when saying this however, we know no other way. Good luck my little Earthling..............