I have been going through a very rough time lately, and have recently taken so many things the wrong way, and read too much meaning into others. I have done things that I shouldn't have because my nerves are shot. How do I break the cycle of putting myself down for every decision I make?
2006-09-27 03:13:13 · 17 answers · asked by munesliver 6 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
Forgiving oneself is the most difficult things to do. I know from personal experience. If you cannot forgive yourself, how can you ever be expected to forgive anyone else?
Are you aware that you are only harming someone (yourself) that others love and hold dear? Perhaps you may want to find someone you can speak with, someone who will neither criticize nor patronize you? Consider professional help (it DOES work, like a miracle) and no one has to know, but you will discover aspects of yourself that will amaze you and help you deal with everyday stress and tension!
The fact that you're "beating [your] self up" only indicates that you give great importance to issues, and some of those issues may not be worth worrying over... like what others think of you... what's MORE important is what YOU think of YOURSELF!
You will find, however, that as you get older you will start to care less over what others think or don't think of you. What a shame that we can't all learn this lesson during our youth so we can get on with the more important issues and matters in life!
Perhaps you might want to indulge yourself a few hours a day? Yes, take an hour or two everyday where you do not answer the telephone, nor do anything but relax and read a book or just take a leisurely bath... time out for yourself, do your nails, or something that will help you feel better, or maybe do this for half a day on Sunday or one of your days off from work? Maybe you're a bit stressed out... get into the habit of walking, soon afterward start jogging or take a swimming class or an aerobics class (forget that you're feeling "tired" because your body will make the necessary adjustment, you'll tone down and feel better after a good night's sleep and rest) and before you know it, your body will have found renewed energies to spare!
Hey, stay away from processed sugars that give you that quick boost and then cause you to "crash" and feel miserable. Eat fruits and drink natural juices instead of candy or sodas or fast food crap... try this for ONE month and see if you don't feel the difference. Do something proactive instead of waiting for "wellness" to fall on your from the sky... it won't happen!
If you can't be nice to yourself, how can you expect to be nice to anyone else? You're overwhelmed and acting out of character. Take the time to discover the cause and take the time to be nice to yourself. Best wishes.
2006-09-27 03:32:05 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Are you sleeping enough? Eating well? Drinking too much caffeine or soda? Believe it or not, all of these can affect you very much and add to your problems significantly.
Things tend to look much better and are easier to deal with if you are well-rested and not "strung out". Teach yourself to relax more, maybe do some mediation or just climb into a hot tub with some herbal tea or warm, rich cocoa. Fix your mind on a wonderful, safe, happy place and spend some time there in your head, quietly.
Once you've relaxed your mind a bit, let yourself remember what a great person you are! Start each day with a good, strong thought about yourself. Make one well-thought-out decision and follow through with it. This should increase your belief in yourself and your ability to make good decisions. As you get your confidence back, things will start to swing around for you.
Oh, and from my mother -- always count to 10 before making ANY decision. If you give yourself some extra time to think, talk, decide -- you will often make a better choice.
Hope some of this helps -- it usually works for me. Email me if you think just "chatting" with a stranger may help, too. Sometimes does, you know. Good luck!
2006-09-27 10:31:18 · answer #2 · answered by Yahzmin ♥♥ 4ever 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
First and foremost, get some rest and relaxation. Noone can function running themselves ragged all the time.
Second, give others the benefit of the doubt.
Third, do the same for you.
And when in doubt over what to do, sleep on it. You'll be alot less emotional about it the next day and can usually think through it much better.
Take a deep breath and have an official "Do-over" and wipe the slate clean. Letting go of our mistakes and others mistakes gives us all room to improve.
"ALL THINGS ARE DIFFICULT BEFORE THEM BECOME EASY."
2006-09-27 10:36:41 · answer #3 · answered by Greywolf 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I do this to and what helps me is knowing that even though I might do and say the wrong things sometimes I do my best and at the end of the day I just have to be me. I tell myself it's okay to make mistakes everybody does I will just do the best I can do and thats just all I can do. I bet you will sleep better at night knowing hey you might have said or done some dumb things but you cant help who you are and you have to love yourself.
2006-09-27 10:21:40 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
The reason why u beat urself up is because u havent looked through the posatives. Tell urself that it was for a good cause and that u should change something about the days in ur life.
2006-09-27 10:22:23 · answer #5 · answered by lisa 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You have to make a conscious effort to see yourself doing it and then don't second guess yourself for the decisions you make. Most people make the right decision the first time when they are thinking in a right mind. I have been battling with picking my fingernail for the past 6 weeks. I have to be very conscious of what my hands are doing. I have been successful thanks to the advice of people on answers.
2006-09-27 10:31:15 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Check out your Self-Esteem and Self-Confidence levels, as it sounds like you just need to build yourself up a bit.
"People become really quite remarkable when they start thinking that they can do things. When they believe in themselves they have the first secret of success."
-- Norman Vincent Peale
"Forget past mistakes. Forget failures. Forget everything except what you're going to do now and do it."
-- William Durant
LEARN HOW TO BE CONFIDENT
When it comes to dating, confidence is the underlying biggest ‘turn-on’ for people.
There is no denying that confidence is sexy and people are attracted to it. Not only that, but it will also help you ask for a date. But there is good news for those who lack confidence – Confidence is a skill people learn. It is not part of the gene pool, so no one is born with it. Confidence is also tricky. Too much confidence can come across as arrogance, but if you don’t have enough confidence people may treat you like a doormat.
What is unusual about confidence is that you can fake it until you make it. In other words, if you put on a confident front it can help make you feel confident on the inside and when you start to feel confident on the inside it is obvious on the outside.
CONFIDENCE GUIDELINES
• Consider your posture
• Smile
• Have a firm handshake – When you meet someone for the first time in a new situation, confidently hold out hand and give a firm handshake. This applies to both men and women.
• Use positive eye contact – When you look someone in the eye you are telling him or her you are strong and confident. Note: Don’t turn it into a war of wills, or a staring contest, and remember to look away occasionally.
• Use a strong voice – The sound we produce with our vocal chords can be strong, powerful, smooth, sexy, etc. It is a great instrument. It also says a lot about who we are; that is, speak too softly and people may assume you are afraid to speak up. A simple guide for speaking is breathe, speak slowly and speak up.
SELF-ESTEEM
Confidence is ultimately an expression of self-esteem.
Self-esteem is definitely something you can work on.
Try these suggestions to boost your self-esteem:
• Do something challenging – Do something you would normally think you couldn’t do. That might be as small as reading Romeo and Juliet or as extreme as doing a sky-dive. Whatever it is, push your boundaries and when you succeed at it you will like yourself more.
• Do some volunteer work – Besides being a great way to help others and meet potential dates, you will garner appreciation for your work and who you are. This is certain to boost your self-esteem.
• Practise positive self talk – Every day we look in the mirror at least once and some of us forty times or more. Each time we look in the mirror we tell ourselves things. The self-talk can be positive or negative.
People tend to be negative in their self-talk, but we do have a choice. Make an effort to say positive things about yourself when you look in the mirror.
• Every day we all look in the mirror at least once and some of us forty times or more. Each time we mirror-look we also do a self-talk.
The self-talk can be positive or negative. People tend to be negative in their self-talk but we have a choice.
this website has been created to give free self help resources and books to people wanting to improve their lives:
http://www.personal-enterprise-self-help-resources.com/
2006-09-27 10:18:41 · answer #7 · answered by helene m 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
well 1st try not to think or analyse everything. Try to give your self a break and do something that you like for once, go out. go to the gym , jog. You need to stop blaming yourself and let things go.
2006-09-27 10:25:36 · answer #8 · answered by browndog513 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Easy, look at the good things you have done in your life, not the bad. Think about how you made somebody happy, or made them smile, it is not much but is more important than you think.
2006-09-29 03:16:13 · answer #9 · answered by Princess 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
blame someone else...
IE.you hit your thumb with a hammer
old response: how could i have been so stupid to hit my thumb with this hammer.
new response: who is the idiot that made this stupid hammer.
IE. you fail a test
old response: how stupid could i be to fail this test... i should have studied more.
new response: that teacher out to get me.
if a stupid person says something..... don't believe them.
so many times we say people are stupid but, when they say something we take it seriously.
lighten up.... just because people say something it doesn't mean its true. if you are uncertain just use the response "what--- ever!"
hope this helps & if it doesn't "what-----ever!"
L8rs
SS
2006-09-27 10:41:30 · answer #10 · answered by Starscream 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋