ok... my bf and I have been together for over a yr, I have a 4 yr old and he has a 4 yr old and a 6 yr old. We've been fighting a lot lately but no one knows. We act like we don't fight. He told me last night that he wants to talk to our parents so they know what's going on, incase we do brake up so it won't be a big surprise. Do you think that this is a good idea?? I kinda think that it will make things worse. Or do you think that he's just wanting them in it so that we don't brake up??
2006-09-27 03:12:20 · 12 answers · asked by dannysgrl 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
also... my Father is a Pastor.I wonder if it would be a bad idea to leth him talk to us about this?And, No, we do not do drugs or live with our parents.
2006-09-27 03:36:28 · update #1
No, other than maybe professional help, DO NOT involve family. Everyone fights at some time or another, especially when kids are involved. From personal experience, I relayed most problems to my parents, about fighting, money problems, when my spouse did not do things around the house, and they ended up disliking my spouse, making comments, and in the end making me defend him. There are 2 sides to every story. If you do break up, it just was not ment to be, but, I would bet you don't break up, especially since you say "We act like we don't fight" which is a positive sign. As long as the fighting is not abusive or physical, learn how to fight effectively and communicate with each other.
2006-09-27 03:26:18 · answer #1 · answered by LESLEY 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This all depends on how close you are to your parents and his parents. Everyone has a different family dynamic. Personally, unless the two of you live with your parents, its not their business. If he wants to get them involved so that they can mediate the situation and you guys can all sit down together and work it out then I guess go on and tell them. But it really all comes down to this... What are your boyfriend's intentions? If he is PREPARING for a break up, then it sounds like he doesnt really want to work it out. If thats the case then it is purposeless to tell your parents and to have them help you guys work it out. You shouldnt have to CONVINCE someone that they should be with you. The best thing for you to do at this point is ask you bf "what would telling our parents do?" and "how will telling our parents help this realationship?". Your parents are not in the relationship and therefore they can not help mend it... only you and your boyfriend can do that. Your parents are older and wiser, but they dont have the magical powers to fix this! Good luck and hope it works out in your best interest!
(btw, BREAK is the word you're looking for, brake is what is in a car and causes you to stop, just fyi)
2006-09-27 03:26:21 · answer #2 · answered by ericasj22 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your parents do not need your ****, you have a 4 yr old and he has two kids 4 and 6.
Grow up, Is the fighting due to substance issues, grog or drugs?
You are now old enough, the both of you, cos you are PARENTS too. Seek some counselling. Leave your parents out of it. I bet they have had a gutful of you already.
2006-09-27 03:18:35 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The reason why you should tell your parents that you fight is only for suggestions and advice. It's usually not a good idea to share you alls private information with your parents. Parents usually don't like butting in anyway. I think his excuse was weak and I don't believe that's the real reason why he wants to tell your parents. Don't get the parents involved, what good would it do? It's not up to the parents to resolve you guys issues, the responsibility lies on you both to try and resolve it.
2006-09-27 03:18:24 · answer #4 · answered by melcar12345 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It seems to me that he needs to grow up. Does he run to mamma when he falls down and scrapes his knees? What goes on between two people that have problems, and IF they are mature, they work it out between themselves. If there is no way to resolve the problem, get a neutral party who does not know either one of you to talk to. And you ARE NOT going to settle the matter with one session, so do not expect to do so. Do you think that his parents are NOT GOING to be one sided, of course they are, it stands to reason, does't it? After all he is their child. KEEP both families out of this situation. I am sure that there is a Minister nearby who would talk to you both, and if you do not want to go that way, there are couples meetings that deal with this also. Both of you are going to have to agree on this if you do so. Remember that Pride is a bad thing sometimes, and if both of you want to keep this relationship going it is to your best interest to get the help you need NOW. Also remember THERE ARE CHILDREN INVOLVED. Good luck.
2006-09-27 03:27:13 · answer #5 · answered by Ex Head 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think he is concerned enough about your relationship to ask for outside help. Taking unsolicited advice is a bad idea. You can tell your family you are trying to work things out or trying to decide if you want to stay together - they hopefully will support you both for being honest no matter what the outcome is.
2006-09-27 03:15:52 · answer #6 · answered by Hebrews 11 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Heck no. Then the parents are going to get involved, form opinions, and everything will be a big mess. That is between you guys. He could casually ask for advice, but he should never get TOO personal about you guys.
2006-09-27 03:14:35 · answer #7 · answered by jesse s 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can't imagine why he feels like he needs permission to talk to his own parents. I would guess he already has. Seems like he may have some reason for wanting to bring your parents into it.
2006-09-27 03:15:58 · answer #8 · answered by Chris D 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think hes just being childish and by telling your parents he will be by your side for a little longer,hes trying to make your days worse and to make you feel guilty..
2006-09-27 03:15:48 · answer #9 · answered by Male Sicilian Trauma Nurse 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that he is trying to scare so you dont have to brake up with him so you stop fighting with him,,, ,,,,
2006-09-27 03:21:23 · answer #10 · answered by Airforcepink 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋