My boyfriend and I have been together for 5 1/2 years and have been living together for 3 1/2 years. I am a single parent of a prior relationship. At first I wanted to get marreid to him but after staying together so long and nothing happened. I have currently fell out of love with him. How can I break up with him? Let him know how I am feeling, and still remain friends?
2006-09-27 03:02:00 · 21 answers · asked by my life 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Honesty is the answer. There are ways to say things with out being hurtful.
Obviously him not asking you seems like he was comfortable with just playing house.
Look on bright side, with you and him not ever marrying, it will have saved you so much in divorce court. Appears that might be where you would be right now having fallen out of love. Good luck!!
2006-09-27 03:08:15 · answer #1 · answered by nnett64 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If you really feel that way, then you put it this way, your actual marriage would have broke down in 5 and 1/2 years or maybe less. I understand that you may have looked forward to such a great thing such as marriage but the fact of the matter is this.. you should have looked at this 5 year togetherness as a model for marriage. Treat him as your husband even if he is legally not. Use your past relationship as a model ( I will assume nothing that has happened in your past). You have fallen out of love because you want to experience a single day in your life but much more the concept that this day will bring. Do not break this man's heart. You don't know what he is thinking. He might prepose to you next week. I bet right now you are his everything. Give him a chance like he is giving you. If you have been together that long with him and he lives with you and your child/children....think about who else would do that for 5 years. It obviously means something. I understand you viewpoint but good things are not rushed. By all means this is advice to answer your question, I am sorry if I intruded on your personal space. But that's just me. Consider not only yourself but all the others in life as well.
2006-09-27 10:24:55 · answer #2 · answered by aPG 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I bet you are feeling pretty bad at this point. I know you must have felt that you were good enough to live with but not marry? I know that must hurt. 5 1/2 years together is definitely a long time. Did you guys ever discuss marriage? I think it's time to sit him done when you guys are by yourself and let him know what you are feeling. This will do one out of two things, it will either open his eyes and realize the mistake he's made, or he could agree with you. Sometimes when the relationship has gone bad, no one knows how to make the first move. It's hard and no matter if you fell out of love, it will still be difficult for everyone. Honesty is the only way to go so I think it's probably up to you to make the first move. You have to be happy in life. I wish you luck
2006-09-27 10:14:04 · answer #3 · answered by CTMEDS 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Simply tell him how you feel. Give him an ultimatum. Let him know you could have been found someone else and been married as long as you guys have been together. Are you really sure you are not in love with him anymore? If so I just say be honest, but if this is because he won't marry you, then let him know he needs to make plans to be with you forever or he will be without you forever.
2006-09-27 10:16:29 · answer #4 · answered by Miss T 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you already know what you want to do. Do what you think is right, you don't need us to tell you so.
Trying to stay friends after a breakup usually only results in one person being happy and the other getting hurt. I understand that you are afraid to cut someone you've shared so much with out of your life entirely. It will feel strange, even if, as you say, you are not in love with him anymore. In time, you'll both get over it. Being "friends" will only prolong the pain of the breakup.
2006-09-27 10:07:11 · answer #5 · answered by MaryBridget G 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Remaining friends could be a little difficult after you tell him to take a hike. However ,in the best interest of peace of mind, tell him what you feel inside. The longer you wait, the more difficult it is to take that step. Do it as if you were pulling off a band-aid. One quick swipe and be done with it. You'll feel better in the morning.
2006-09-27 10:10:40 · answer #6 · answered by Jayme C 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok Im just going to be straight with u there is no easy way to break up over that time period being togather, but you should find out if the relationship will lead to any thing befor you stay so long you will never get out there and get to be happy its only fair to you....so good luck
2006-09-27 10:10:35 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Absolutly. Simply tell him that you are ready for a family and that after almost 6 years together, you realized that he wasn't going to commit.
Tell him that you have no time to waste and that you decided to let him go, so you can freely pursue your dream with commitment minded gentlemen.
Good luck
2006-09-27 10:05:14 · answer #8 · answered by Blunt 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
friends forget friends he is a loser. Taking advantage of Single mom what a jerk off. Tell him to get lost. Being friends with him opens the door to him using you more and will be a bar to you finding someone else.
2006-09-27 10:07:58 · answer #9 · answered by jercha 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
there is almost no way you will stay freinds after u break up with him. it might happen but i doubt it! just be honest with him, u have to tell him so u can get on with ur life. but tell him the truth, that you dont love him anymore, anything eles will have him begging for you to try again with him. good luck.
2006-09-27 10:06:28 · answer #10 · answered by trish p 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋