2006-09-27 02:56:19 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
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It Was a Very Hot Day in Tampa Bay...
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...and there was this car salesman. Who sold cars, unsurprisingly. Now, it was REALLY hot - you could have fried an egg on the forecourt, or, indeed, on the bonnet of the cars.
Well, the car salesman is sweating away, when along comes this snail. The guy rubs his eyes, rubs them again, and puts this down to the heat.
He is even more astonished when the snail approaches him, and says in a high, squeaky voice (how else would a snail speak) "Do you sell cars?"
The car salesman is getting rather concerned about his own state of mental health. But he replies: "Yeeeessss...."
"Will you sell ME a car?" squeaks the snail.
"Yeeeessss..." replies the by now seriously concerned car salesman.
The snail looks around, and spots a Jaguar. "Will you sell me THAT car?" the snail asks.
"Yeeeeesssss..."
"Can I have it done special?" enquires the snail.
"Yeeeeesssss...."
"Well," explains the snail, "I want S's on it. I want an S on the roof, an S on the hood, S's EVERYWHERE."
The car salesman is now convinced he's slipped a few cogs - that the men in the white jackets will be along any minute. Still, he agrees a price, and gets the car ready.
A week later, it's another very hot day in Tampa Bay. The car salesman is wondering what in heaven's name he's going to do with a Jaguar that has S's painted everywhere on it.
But sure enough, the snail turns up. It pulls out a wallet, and promptly pays the car salesman in cash.
Finally, the car salesman gets up enough nerve to do more than stutter yeeeesss, and asks, querilously, "Ummmm, excuse me, sir, madame, hermaphrodite, or what ever you are. Ppppplease can you tell me why you wanted a Jaguar painted with the letter S everywhere?"
"Well", replies the snail..."I always wanted to hear people say......
...
...
...
...
...
"Look at that S Car Go!"
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GROAN!!!
2006-09-27 03:13:20 · answer #1 · answered by mattygroves 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no longer the funniest 'ever' yet i will allow you to recognize the suitable i have heard of modern - a guy walks right into a pub and sits down. The barman asks if he wish a drink, he thanks him and asks for a lager. They talk, and shaggy dog tale and once the guy has finished his drink the barman requests his money. the guy, in spite of the indisputable fact that, refuses. He replies 'I got here into this bar, and also you provided me a drink Now, you said no longer something about money. in case you've been to stroll right into a bar and get provided a drink, would you anticipate to ought to pay afterwards? look, i'm a legal professional. you could take this further, yet i will allow you to recognize this for loose - you do not have a leg to face on.' The barman, apoplectic, demands the guy go away and by no skill come back. the guy does so. per week later, an identical guy returns to the bar. The barman on the on the spot demands he go away once again, yelling the percentages at him and rambling about how he had conned him out of his money. in spite of the indisputable fact that, the guy seems baffled. 'i do not understand what you're speaking about. I have by no skill been right here earlier in my existence.' before each little thing, the barman refuses to trust it, yet ultimately he does and seems somewhat embarrassed. 'Oh. nicely then..i'm sorry. you should have a double.' 'thanks'. responded the guy, 'i will have a whisky'.
2016-11-24 22:13:26 · answer #2 · answered by reader 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A couple go for a meal at a Chinese restaurant and order the "Chicken Surprise". The waiter brings the meal, served in a lidded cast iron pot.
Just as the wife is about to serve herself, the lid of the pot rises
slightly and she briefly sees two beady little eyes looking around before the lid slams back down. "Good grief, did you see that?" she asks her husband.
He hasn't, so she asks him to look in the pot. He reaches for it and again the lid rises, and he sees two little eyes looking around before it slams down.
Rather perturbed, he calls the waiter over, explains what is happening, and demands an explanation.
"Please sir," says the waiter, "what you order?"
The husband replies, "Chicken Surprise."
"Ah... so sorry," says the waiter, "I bring you the Peeking Duck"
2006-09-27 03:09:19 · answer #3 · answered by Mazzaroo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This joke is really not even funny, but I'm bored, so :
Q :Why did the skeleton with one hand cross the road?
A : To get to the second hand shop.
2006-09-27 03:00:07 · answer #4 · answered by weresheepie 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
A man is driving along a highway and sees a rabbit jump out across the
middle of the road. He swerves to avoid hitting it, but unfortunately
the rabbit jumps right in front of the car. The driver, a sensitive man
as well as an animal lover, pulls over and gets out to see what has
become of the rabbit.
Much to his dismay, the rabbit is dead. The driver feels so awful that
he begins to cry. A beautiful blonde woman driving down the highway sees
a man crying on the side of the road and pulls over. She steps out of
the car and asks the man what's wrong.
"I feel terrible," he explains, "I accidentally hit this rabbit and
killed it."
The blonde says, "Don't worry."
She runs to her car and pulls out a spray can. She walks over to the
limp, dead rabbit, bends down, and sprays the contents onto the rabbit.
The rabbit jumps up, waves its paw at the two of them and hops off down
the road. Ten feet away the rabbit stops, turns round and waves again,
he hops down the road another 10 feet, turns and waves, hops another ten
feet, turns and waves, and repeats this again and again and again, until
he hops out of sight.
The man is astonished. He runs over to the woman and demands, "What is
in that can? What did you spray on that rabbit?"
The woman turns the can around so that the man can read the label. It
says...
"Hair Spray - Restores life to dead hair, adds permanent wave."
2006-09-27 03:07:47 · answer #5 · answered by bagmouss 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
>>>How do you make a kleenex dance?
<<<
>>>Did you hear about the magic tractor?
<<<
And my personal favourite...
Nah i won't tell you cos then it wouldn't be my personal joke. Nyahaha
2006-09-27 03:03:45 · answer #6 · answered by Lala 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Something about Bush being a good president
2006-09-27 02:58:11 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
A guy walked into a bar
and said
ouch
2006-09-27 02:58:01 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
What do kmart and michael jackson both have in common?
they both have little boys pants at half off!
LMFA! hilarious!
2006-09-27 03:37:04 · answer #9 · answered by tripsnpig 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hi then the persons leaves
2006-09-27 03:13:26 · answer #10 · answered by greg577452004 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋