I feel I've lost my zest and power since I've been pregnant. My husband hasn't been very supportive and I've been so emotional and vulnerable. My friends tell me I've changed so much and not as bubbly, driven and outgoing since I have been with him. One of my friends said after I have the baby my power and protective mode will kick in and she suspects I'll wake up and be more than happy to leave. Do you really regain control and power after having a baby?
2006-09-27 02:28:58 · 19 answers · asked by Kisses 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
once youhave yourbaby you will be stronger than ever cuz you will realize how much your baby depends on you. Your hormones really do go crazy during pregnancy so of course ur behavior will change.. This is your time.. eat what you want, act how u want...its your world! and youll probably snap out of themood ur in now b4 the baby even gets here. its ok if u dont tho. i have a one month old. i was so depressed, even when i had her- i didnt even want to hold her.. imjust now starting to fall in love with her. so dont worry we all do strange things during pregnancy. and things change for the better. Good luck and hang in there. I know its hard without a lot of support butthat too will help make you stronger. love, amanda
2006-09-27 02:36:10 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Woah, woah, woah! Am I the only one who caught the part where you said you want to "leave?" You want to leave your husband? Is it THAT bad? Have you told him how you feel to the point that he gets it. When I had my 1st child, I did begin to speak up and be more assertive and yes, you feel empowered and protective because you realize you have to protect this little life from all that seems increasingly evil in the world.
As for your personal power, you can get that at any point. Your hormones do make you feel down, but during the 3rd trimester (how far along are you) your energy and determination are better. Do you know the power you have that is always there for you? I recommend you read a few books: The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz, The Lazy Man's Guide to Enlightenment by Theodore Golas (kinda but not impossible to find) and the Holy Bible. Hope you feel better really soon. I believe that happiness is a choice. Simple as that. No one can take that away from you without your permission.
Congratulations on your baby! And I hope your marriage grows, not dies. Best wishes.
2006-09-27 02:59:04 · answer #2 · answered by Sleek 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think the answer is "yes!". I have been battling depressive episodes for years and I just had a baby boy this past April. He is so amazing that everyday seems like a blessing. Of course his dad and I are still together and we don't have really any relationship problems. But I always was very self-centered in a way I guess, always moody and complaining, and crying. Now besides not having any time to brood, I am enthralled with this little wonder. He/She will never cease to make you laugh, and be totally amazed that you helped create him/her. The baby will become the most important thing in the world to you! Just think how fun it will be for you to show him/her all the wonders of the world, (even if its just a ball rolling on the floor!) Trust me, when you have the baby, after the initial shock wears off you will fall totally in love with them and come to a decision on what you should do with your life to make it better for you and your child! Good luck and best wishes for you!
2006-09-27 02:36:21 · answer #3 · answered by Sexy_Bunny 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What you're experiencing is very normal for your situation.
Being pregnant DOES make you feel emotional and vulnerable. The fact that you're hopeful that your husband will be supportive and understanding and protective of you while you're feeling fragile and he's not doing that... well... that just makes things that much worse for you right now.
It sounds like you do need to do some heavy-duty thinking about your relationship and where you want it to go. While you're pregnant is not the best time to make a decision like that, nor is the first 6 months or so after. The reason for this is that your hormones can affect your mood which may affect your feelings and your decisionmaking process. How do YOU feel about your marriage and your husband in general? Unless you're in an abusive situation, I think it would be best to wait before making any decisions that will affect your life, as well as your child's, for the rest of your lives.
I will tell you that YES, after the baby is born and you have recovered from childbirth and begin to regain your physical strength, you will begin to feel like an invincible mother lion in most situations and for me... once I got the hang of parenting, I was able to stand and defend myself and my child to anyone and everything. Sometimes my confidence would be a bit shaken when presented with a new side of parenting (oh, my gosh!! look at that rash!! what am I doing wrong???) but knowing I was doing my best and my son was healthy was the best cure for self-doubt.
Surround yourself with people who are supportive of your parenting style, whatever it may be. If you breastfeed, hang out with other mothers who made the same choice. Ditto for bottle-feeding. Both are fine and have their place and purpose. Don't let anyone tell you that you're wrong for whichever you choose. Ditto for cloth vs disposable diapers, day care vs stay at home, solids at 3 months vs 7 months or pacifier or no pacifier.
You'll get it back... and don't allow any man to change your personality. If you feel beaten down, he will walk all over you. Stand tall. You're doing something that no man on the planet can do... you're growing a baby. You will be that baby's bottom line and you are strong and capable and you will do a wonderful job. Be strong for your child and be strong for yourself and make the best choices you can for the both of you. Be tough. Sometimes the best choices are not the most popular and sometimes they're not easy at all... but you'll do the right thing. Knowing that you are the bottom line for your child will help you to choose the right path.
If you can get your husband to go with you to counseling, that would probably be very helpful... or at least to childbirth and parenting classes. If it's important to you that he be a part of this process, let him know that too. Sometimes men will stand and deliver if you just let them know what you need in little tiny words that they cannot misunderstand :)
In the meantime... rent Fried Green Tomatoes and watch it over and over again... because it's an empowering movie for your current situation... have a healthy snack and then whip up a batch of special sauce and know that you can do it all, Mama! :)
2006-09-27 02:53:11 · answer #4 · answered by thegirlwholovedbrains 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is both physically and emotionally draining on a woman to be pregnant.....
However, you willl gain back your zest after the baby comes....not immediately but in a few months.
It will take a short while for you to get into the routine of having a new baby but in no time at all you will be back to yourself.... with just a little more pep... because you will feel empowered by the fact that you have created life.
2006-09-27 02:30:36 · answer #5 · answered by shughes2000_2000 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Control and power of what? You are going to have sleepless nights with a crying child, feedings, diaper changing, and possible colds or illness's with the child.
That child is now in control of your sleep, if you are nursing you have to be careful of what you eat, you can't just go out without a baby sitter....
Yep....you get all kind of control back after having a baby...about 18 years later. Forgot to add, if you raise them with love...It's worth it!!
2006-09-27 02:32:18 · answer #6 · answered by OleMarbleEyes 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
having a baby is such a shock on a womans body, so you could be taking what people say to heart. and your friends saying youve changed?? well of course you have, you have a child to comfort, feed and watch grow. yes you will regain your bubbly old self. but allow your self time. i have a 2year old, and i am just as bubbly as i was b4 i had him. good luck, hon.
2006-09-27 02:34:37 · answer #7 · answered by blondie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I just Had my Baby, I was very emotional and my spark was gone because i was tired and i felt like I had no one there not even my friends(even thou they were) but after I had my Baby I was just rejuvinated, I was so proud to be a mom, She is just so beautiful and charismatic, it's wonderful.... trust me your Baby will bring all the joy back in your life and a whole lot more...........
2006-09-27 03:05:38 · answer #8 · answered by tee k 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hi there yes you will get your power back it might take a while but take it from a mom of 3 boys ages 7, 4 and 9 months
2006-09-27 02:31:52 · answer #9 · answered by jen 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Most of the time...YES!! Just try not to fall into POST pardum depression! It's easily done...You actually may start to regain this inner strength during the NESTING period..which is during the last trimester...GOOD LUCK!!
2006-09-27 02:32:56 · answer #10 · answered by just me 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋