My ex gf and I were semifriends/teammates before we got involved. After graduation, she moved back home and we started a long distance relationship. She called me one night really drunk and crying saying she needed to tell me something but couldnt. When I got her to calm down she told me that she thought she might be transgendered. When I spoke with her the next day she was totally fine with it and wanted to do something about it. I think it confused me a little but I was totally supportive. So she moved to be closer to me. All hell broke loose. She ended up getting so drunk one night that she blacked out, threw me around, and got kicked out of the bar. We broke up. She refused to speak to me about anything but still kept coming around campus. When we did speak, she was nasty. So I stopped speaking to her. She came to my clinics and my games. Its like she has no regard for my feelings. Like nothing happened. So I was really messed up about it last semester.
2006-09-27 02:13:55 · 13 answers · asked by JJ 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
After I returned to campus...she saw me and a friend in the car and gave us the cold shoudler (she is friends with her). Its like she is SO angry with me. I called her after that and now she seems to get off on me still having feelings for her. I dont get it. I feel helpless. Shes always around.
2006-09-27 02:16:08 · update #1
How should I deal with it so that I dont allow it to hurt me?
2006-09-27 02:19:12 · update #2
an ex is an ex sweetie. You need to let go of your feelings for her so she can't keep messing with your head.If you don't want her coming around anymore tell her. It might get nasty but in the end it will be worth it especially with the way she is treating you now. You don't have to put up with other peoples issues when they won't even talk to you about it. If you want to make things better without shutting her out of your life i suggest you talk to her on even ground. Don't go to hers and don't make her come to you. Go somewhere neutral like a quite cafe to talk. Perhaps her issues can be resolved. What she needs to understand is your there to help her and not judge her. In the long run hunny you need to look after yourself. Selfish or not you are your number one and no one else is. Good luck with everything hunny xoxo
2006-09-27 03:49:29 · answer #1 · answered by angelic_devil30 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've got to say that it sounds a lot like a stalking- Otherwise, she wouldn't do this. Normal people don't take their time to make other people uncomfortable, just for the sake of it.
You might be right that she's getting off on seeing it make you uncomfortable, its like, even if she doesn't have the impact she WANTS to have on you, she can still have some control over your life.
Stay away from her in private, She sounds a little co-dependent, but at the games or practices, You might try approaching her and asking if she is coming to see YOU, or someone else,
if she has had anymore thoughts about her gender confusion.
Seriously, be careful, though.
2006-09-27 02:49:29 · answer #2 · answered by Lisa'sGurl 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
The woman's problems do NOT stop with transgendered...she has social problems that you do not need to take on. You are in school to prepare for your life. This wounded soul is getting in your way, so take a detur that avoids contact with this person. And, you mentioned 'drunk' once too often. "She threw me around." (that is a very serious statement)She sounds as if that is another problem of HERS...you do not need to take on any of this. Say "hello" if you bump into her, but leave it at that...this person is too unstable for anyone to have anything but a passing aquaintance with. Stay away, or the next time you question here, it will be far more serious.
2006-09-27 02:23:23 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 0⤋
Some people get off playing mind games and i suggest doing anything you can to be free mentally of this person. Therapy, spiritual programme, keep being honest about what is going on for you about it with a couple of people you trust. Sounds like you dodged a bullet with this one.
2006-09-27 03:04:03 · answer #4 · answered by st.uncumber 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she cant let go of you..its that simple ..I dont know what to tell you ..but ..maybe her drinking might be a good indicater that she has some serious issues and maybe some help is needed..she is angery at you for breaking up with her..I got angery at my friend after she told me she wanted to be friends and not lovers I never call her any more..and when I do email her I dont say love ..and my name any more I need to get over her..being friends is hard if your still love with that person..ask her to get some help..be there for her..let her understand that you care about her and you want her to get some help ..if she doesnt want any help then the hell with her and move on
2006-09-27 02:46:47 · answer #5 · answered by Kingofreportedabuse 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
one of the problems is that its very hard for a transgendered person to accept themselves and when they face that issue it seems like their whole world comes crashing down. thats not saying you should have to endure what she is putting you through but dont hate her for it either, she needs time to soul search and come to terms with her true self.
i think in the mean time you need to move on in your life and given time you might be able to atleast mend the friendship
id say there is to much hurt done now to fix the relationship
2006-09-27 03:02:21 · answer #6 · answered by KellyJeanne 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
no matter how you dish it out an ex is an ex. I seriously dont recommend that you say "hello" to her.
I suggest that you do find a nice handsome guy who will love you and not a crack up female who will treat you like hell.
Your life is your decision.
Cast your vote for me, please.
2006-09-27 04:52:49 · answer #7 · answered by soar_2307 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think you should ignore her bcoz shes so immature and selfish, if she keep doin like that just ask her what does she want actually.
goodluck ;)
2006-09-27 03:54:45 · answer #8 · answered by classy naima 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you are not responsible for her....she makes her choices in life and so should you..just leave her in your dust...it really doesn't sound like you'll be leaving much behind....her loss.
2006-09-27 05:28:59 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
dont speak to her or have any contact
2006-09-27 02:59:24 · answer #10 · answered by jason s 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋