Every single time we visit my mother-in-law's home, I become ill with killer head-quakes. It's nicotine poisoning; she smokes like a fiend. She's been more mindful about not smoking when company comes, but the stench and toxins are still so pervasive. Whenever we return home, we bathe to get the stink off ourselves, and our clothes immediately get laundered. (Never again will I wear dry-clean-only garments there. I learned that long ago.)
I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings, but the head-quakes are so severe that I end up having to take Imitrex (migraine medication), something I would rather not have to do.
The November-December holidays are imminent, and I absolutely dread having to go there. Please don't suggest gathering at another relative's home or at a restaurant; mother-in-law won't hear of it.
2006-09-27 02:13:52 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
That's a tough one. No easy answer. She's not going to quit smoking. You can't change her. You can only change yourself. Is it the smoke that is causing your headaches or is it your mother-in-law herself? You need to ask yourself this question.
2006-09-27 02:18:51 · answer #1 · answered by sheeny 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Under the circumstance, I think visiting your MIL only twice a year should be doable and thats only for the holiday season of thanksgiving and christmas. At the same time, I would have your wife explain to her mom that you only prefer to visit twice during the holiday season. If MIL asks for an explanation, have her explain that it is because you have developed a medical condition caused by her heavy/excessive smoking. I would encourage your wife to visit her mom as much as possible though but again because of your medical condition, I don't think you should be obligated to attend. So in the future if your wife does decide to visit her mom and you do not attend, her MIL should know and understand the reason why you were absent.
2006-09-27 02:35:53 · answer #2 · answered by melcar12345 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
this is a hard situation i mean you cant tell her not to smoke in her home ...but my mom smokes and well if the kids tell her its stinky she just laughs i think they have been smokin for so long they dont even smelll it ..i can tell immediatly if someone was smoking in my home ..and the cloths if you didnt wash them immediatly shhss i hve to wash some things more then once ..
ok i know this is not a answer !
the only thing i guess you could do is have your hubby talk to her and ask if maybe she can have one dedicated room for smoking i mean since the holidays usually there is more then one person who smokes right ..so one room that way its not being done in direct with the kids or you ....its just not good for us we all know second hand is worse and for the headaches just think any kids who come for the holidays get headaches too so maybe shell think about the kids in that way bennifitting you too .....
sorry but this is a hard one but thats the idea i had and what i do during the holidays at my house cuz i cant stand smoking so i have a room for it !!
and immitrex i dont like at all i have gotton heart palpatations from it and irritability too..so tell your hubby to help out this idea if used would be better coming from him then you unless you have a close relationship with her ..if you do though then try it with her maybe shell agree..welll good luck ok!!
2006-09-27 02:24:20 · answer #3 · answered by Brandy 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
why dont you try taking excedrine fo rmigraines you can buy at the store before you go for a visit and also buy some vicks vapo rub and put a little bit ,rub it just under your nose and around the sides. not alot just a little and bring the jar with you incase you need more. you will smell menthelatiom but its better than what you have to smell now. this way no one is rude and maybe you will be able to visit an x-tra 10 min and make your in laws happy. its worth a try. you never know.
2006-09-27 02:21:29 · answer #4 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay....your hubby should defiantly back you up on this one. She is his mother but you are his wife and you come first now.. Here is my suggestion-Tell her you and hubby can't come unless she won't smoke. Explain to her that you get migraines and it has nothing to do with her and that you have to take prescription medicine each time you go and they are expensive. (I know-I live w/migraines. I take Imitrex shots). If she loves you and her son she won't if not then you will know cigs are more important than being with family.
2006-09-27 02:18:41 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hard one to answer!!! But I will tell you what I would do. Inform my mate that I will not go to that place if their mother continues to smoke while I am there....(She has a perfect right to do that in her house) Even if she is not considerate of others!!! Or invite them to your house for holidays and (it's your house!!! NO Smoking!!)////If I didn't want to get hit by the truck, I wouldn't walk in front of it! It's really not a matter of hurting others as much as you must insist you do not want to be physically sick!
2006-09-27 02:21:54 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Get your husband to tell her that it's going to be at another relative's home or at a restaurant or with YOUR family. If she doesn't care about her own health, that's her business. But you must care about your family's health.
2006-09-27 02:18:52 · answer #7 · answered by wmp55 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wear a shower cap, poncho and an oxygen mask.
IT's only once a year. Just bear with it. Try to go outdoors more when you are there.
2006-09-27 05:18:20 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's better.......to tell her the truth. Tell her how sick you get.
Maybe you two can figure out something together. Like a family.
2006-09-27 02:32:06 · answer #9 · answered by Q. 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well your mother in law aint gonna change bro... so its either the migrane tabs or... another great idea.. pick an argument with her so she gets mad and u never have to see her again...
2006-09-27 02:18:12 · answer #10 · answered by vikram m 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋