in front of his parents...I feel like he is an image consultant...I am a professional female, but because of my sleek figure, I wear a lot of extremely form-fitting clothes (tight) all the time..to work it is tight suits...and for play it is tight jeans, tight sweats etc...he refuses to allow me to wear ANY of these outfits in front of his parents...he went so far as to buy me some outfits to wear when we visit them....and he absolutely forbids me to smoke or even let them know I smoke when I am around them...He will not even let me carry my cigarettes in my purse when we are with his parents because he is afraid I will be tempted..All of this is driving me crazy..I do not feel comfortable in the clothes he bought me, and i go crazy without a smoke for long periods of time...The tight outfits and Marlboro Lights are me...and without them I am lost..I do not want to change my outfits or stop smoking..what should I do...he feels the tight outfits and cigarettes will send the wrong messag
2006-09-27 02:12:26 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Beauty & Style ➔ Fashion & Accessories
Is he still a child sitting on mammies lap?
Find a normal bf, that accepts you.
And he should life with his parents for the rest of their life's.
2006-09-27 02:23:50 · answer #1 · answered by Chri R 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he can not accept you for who you are no matter what situation that you are in then I think that you should reconsider leaving that situation all together. No one should be forced to act like someone who they are not no matter what is going on. Because then when you meet or see these people then they are not going to get to know the real you. That will cause so many more problems in the long run. Yes, tight clothes and smoking are things that are not accepted in some places or by some family's. If that is the case then you should not even be there to begin with. You should not have to change who you are just because they do not like it. If you change something it should be because you want to for yourself.
2006-09-27 09:37:00 · answer #2 · answered by J O 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all how old are you, second why are you dating someone so different than you and third (Stop going out with him if you can not tell him no and be your self). You can not allow someone to not allow you to do something because they don't like it or they don't want their family to know, what kind of people are they do they think that they are above someone who smokes or wears clothes different than you. Is that really the kind of family you want to be joined to. Everyone has to make the decision in their own life as to how and what they feel is appropriate for them. If you want to smoke and it is not against the Law well then smoke, and if you like clothes that fit well then wear them, but stand by your values and don't let someone else make your life theirs. Check out a book listed below.
2006-09-27 09:31:59 · answer #3 · answered by klyn426 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let me explain that I am a guy, but don't hold that against me - OK? I do not smoke, but I don't go around trying to get my friends to quit. Also, I would think that your "boyfriend" would want to see you in your tight fitting clothes. Seems to me, he is trying to fool his parents into thinking you are something you're not; you guys can't keep this up indefinitely, so do yourself a favor and talk this out with your boyfriend. If he refuses to listen to your side, find another boyfriend - his refusal to listen is your ticket to go looking.
2006-09-27 09:39:45 · answer #4 · answered by Doug R 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's trying to change you into someone who his PARENTS would want him to date...in other words, he is embarassed to show the REAL you to his parents for some reason!
Your guy sounds REALLY controlling, so either sit down with him and tell him how you feel, or get yourself someone who accepts the (jean wearing, marlboro smoking) person that you really are!
2006-09-27 09:24:19 · answer #5 · answered by Jazz 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
The way that i see it, he hasn't accepted "you". If that's the case, he wouldn't give a damn about what his parents think. I would just leave the man if i don't feel comfortable around him and his family if they can't feel comfortable around the "real you". I mean can you really stand to fake this forever?
2006-09-27 09:16:36 · answer #6 · answered by i have a taste for waffles 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he is this controlling now, what kind of future do you think you will have with him? Probably miserable! Do not let anyone control you sweetie-you already have one set of parents don't you? You are your own individual-that's what makes us all so special!Drop him!Drop him!Drop him! Move on to someone that supports all you do! It tends to make life alot easier and enjoyable!Good luck!
2006-09-27 09:19:53 · answer #7 · answered by dodlydink 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it could be for one of two reasons as far as i can think of -
1) your boyfriend doesn't like these qualities about you, and uses the excuse of making a good impression on his parents to tell you this.
or
2) he is paranoid of his parents disliking these qualities about you, and doesn't want them to dislike you because of them - he wants them to see you for who you are rather than what you wear or whether you smoke or not.
try to find out if it is one of these options...talk to him about it. if it's #1 - tell him that it's who you are, and too bad, you're not changing just for him or his parents. if it's #2 - it's a little more understandable... just let him know his parents will have to accept you for who you are - if they don't like you? too bad...
2006-09-27 09:26:13 · answer #8 · answered by Moxie1313 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
This is sometimes a sign of a deeper issue. Get couples counseling or leave him is the short of it. If you want to try to self help.....Love Languages for Couples may be a good one.
2006-09-27 09:22:12 · answer #9 · answered by getdatrick 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
how old are you love, you sound like an intelligent woman. i think its your boyfriend thats got issues with his parents and what they might think of you, i mean its not like your going in your underwear, be yourself you only have to answer to yourself, talk to your boyfriend is he afraid of his parents? although smoking is bad for you its your choice girl no one should dictate to you nip this in the bud before it gets worse.
2006-09-27 09:20:32 · answer #10 · answered by hel 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋