I am single fallen for a divorcee who is now in relationship with a married man,and she knows very well that it wont work out for her.Since she is a very good friend to me she used share her happenings everyday.I am very clear that the relationship with him is not mere physical affection ,she feels so happy when she is with him.I do respect the relationship,afterall liking a person is not a sin.When i expressed my love to her that i want to get married to her and moreover help her out to come out of the relationship and have a respectful life.,she told me that she understands how much i care for her and she is thankful for that and that should not be at the cost of my life.She prefers to be a good friend to me and told me that she will come to me when she is able to.After that i stopped talking about my love for her,but still loving her inside deeply,waiting for her to come to me oneday.I dont know what to do.Should i forget about and concenterate on my career. i cant lose her
2006-09-27 02:08:14 · 15 answers · asked by jammy 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You can't make someone love you.Don't waste your time trying,she does'nt feel the same for you & you're just setting yourself up to be hurt.Move on with your life & good luck.
2006-09-27 02:12:23 · answer #1 · answered by Troy 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You are a very good person if you can see her for who she really is. I doubt that she is happy with him but that she is using this as an excuse to keep from getting involved in a relationship where she will actually have to put in an effort to make it work. The only thing that is good about the relationship she is in is that she doesn't have to worry about her efforts being good enough and she is too comfortable to try again. If this guy helped her through a painful divorce; she may feel she owes him her life. Now she feels if you wait on her it will take her that long to convince him to let her go. I fully understand this situation. I wouldn't give up on her because she will get out of that relationship. When she does she will never get back in another one like that again.
2006-09-27 02:39:17 · answer #2 · answered by Busy Lady 2010 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't get involved any more deeply than just a casual friendship. Any woman that would knowingly go after a married man can not be trusted in the future.
You would always have doubts about her, she is half of a cheating relationship. Being involved in an affair is a conscious decision and not an accident or mistake.
You can't now and never can control anyone elses thoughts or actions. Move forward with you life and find a woman who deserves what you have to offer.
2006-09-27 02:20:26 · answer #3 · answered by OleMarbleEyes 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
he will no longer go away his spouse and also you comprehend it. there is not any clarification for an ultimatum. you merely opt to stroll away and comprehend next time that's the similar old trend with a married guy. no matter if he were given a divorce, that would not recommend he may marry you. it may likely mean he may merely be unmarried and performance some relaxing. you're not any further the first lady he's cheated with and also you is merely no longer the perfect. Get out of this undesirable courting. he's merely using you.
2016-12-02 04:05:49 · answer #4 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think a lot of people can relate to your situation, and they would all relate the same advice. Don't just walk, but run away from this woman. Step way back and realize some things:
1. She has neither common sense, ethics nor morality and you certainly want a relationship with someone who has all three. Relationships are hard enough.
2. You are not a welcome mat for someone to wipe their shoes on when they get dirty. You are putting yourself out there to be used. It's desperate, pathetic, and displays a complete lack of respect for yourself. No woman sees that as self-sacrifice. They see that as weak, dependent, needy and ultimately controlling, and it will never get you anywhere. I speak from long personal experience playing rescue ranger to tragic and selfish women. First of all, if they were able to have normal relationships they would not be in the mess you find them in. Secondly, they know damn good and well all your deep concern and helpfulness is about getting them for you, i.e. it's not selfless and they feel no sense of obligation because they know you're doing it for you, and they'll let you, but it won't get you anywhere. If you want a life and relationships worth having you have to STOP NOW. Respect yourself or no one else will.
3. Whatever is up with your self-image that you think the only way you can have relationships is to bleed like this for them...get it fixed. Get professional counseling and identify where this is coming from. For me it was really bad role modeling in a dysfunctional family that taught me the way to get approval from women was to stand between them and their tragic and abusive relationships. That's not the point of my life or yours.
4. I believe your infatuation with this woman (and I say that because nothing you have described is lovable or honorable or respectable, as you pointed out) is based in a unrealistic fantasy you have projected on a person you know does not meet your standard of conduct. Whoever you are hoping for, this is not that woman, and you need to get clear on that and quash these fantasies about her because they aren't real and they are never going to happen, and the more time you waste on this the more bitter and disappointed you will be.
I feel your pain. Believe I do. But you have got to stop wallowing in this and find the life you really want.
2006-09-27 02:29:48 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
concentrate on ur career. and be a good friend to her. if this love is meant to be and if the relationship she has with this guy is only physical and he is married she will be hurt by him. and then u be there to support her. when she sees ur love only then u will have a chance. till then all u have to do is wait.
she is getting no where with a married man and u know that.
patience is a virtue, just continue to live ur life and wait and see what happens
2006-09-27 02:16:21 · answer #6 · answered by in ur face 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am sorry, but it sounds to me that she doesn't have her head on straight. To be in a relationship with a married man, makes me think she isn't sure about herself or what she needs in life. Its a hard fact, but its not up to you to show her that. Its something she is going to have to figure out for herself. Hopefully, she will one day realize who the better man is, and who will give her more out of her life. Until then, continue to be her friend and don't push. I honestly don't think she is good enough for you, if she is with a married man shows she is not very trustworthy, and don't have respect for commitment. I hope it goes the way you want it, but if it doesn't then it was not meant to be. I know it is hard, but you will find that one girl, that will want to share all that love you have to give. Concentrate on what makes you happy, I wouldn't wait. Take care of yourself and good luck.
2006-09-27 02:16:46 · answer #7 · answered by me 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Looks like you never had her dude...a divorcee in a relationship with a married man doesn't seem to me to be a kind of person who makes good decisions.
Carry on with your life while being there for her.Eventually one of three things will happen,
1 she will get some sense and fall in love with you
2 you will see she won't ever change and get tired of waiting
3. you will put your life on hold and be picking up the pieces for ever.
2006-09-27 02:21:35 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Man, you can lead a horse to water but you can't make em drink! The best way to get things figured out is like an old saying I heard, If you love something, set it free, if it comes back to you, it's yours, if it doesn't , It never was! Go on with your life & make new friends, & you will find a better one down the road! Keep your chin up & keep looking!
2006-09-27 02:17:56 · answer #9 · answered by Benny D 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Well yes you can loose her, and be much happier with someone else. You sound like a good person and deserve much better. You need to meet someone that has the same morals as you. And I'm sorry to tell you this but it ain't her. Hang in there, God has someone good in mind for you! You just don't know t yet. Good luck!
2006-09-27 02:13:34 · answer #10 · answered by Paulda37 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋