How do you deal with:
1. your husband's ex?
2. the fact that there is a child?
3. the fact that he's been burned before?
4. the fact that you dont have your own child (if you dont)?
5. the knowlege that he's been with someone else before?
And do you ever feel like he should go back and try to work things out with the ex? Would you sacrifice your own happiness like that?
Men with kid(s) and remarried. How do you think of yourselves? Do you feel like you're not really a man anymore?
Does your new wife get upset when you talk about what it was like to be married before? Does she feel jealous when you talk to your friends about the whole kid and marriage scenario, because you havent experienced that with her yet? Does she feel like an outsider?
2006-09-27 01:53:13 · 28 answers · asked by Deena F 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
I answered this question first then went back and read ur other questions and answered those one and have chosen to change my answer to this question..
YOUR A PSYCHOTIC BIT*CH ..
First u admitted to tricking ur x husband by getting pregnant just so u could have child support, and then u threw him away like trash and now that he's remarried and wont pay u OVER the amount of child support owed to u .. ur pissed off at the fact that u feel his new wife is the reason and ur so pissed cause he's remarried and HAPPY.. and ur trying with all ur might to get them to divorce..
YOUR A PATHETIC EXCUSE FOR A MOTHER. A PATHETIC EXCUSE FOR A WOMAN, AND A PATHETIC EXCUSE FOR A HUMAN BEING..
YOUR SICK AND U NEED HELP AND I HOPE YOUR X HUSBAND COMES AND GETS CUSTODY OF YOUR CHILD SO THAT YOUR CHILD CAN ACTUALLY BE LOVED AND NOT JUST A PAWN THATS PUT UP WITH SO HER MOMMY CAN GET MONEY. AND I HOPE THAT HIS NEW WIFE IS A HELL OF ALOT BETTER OF A MOM TO THAT LITTLE GIRL THEN U COULD EVER BE GOD KNOWS SHE'S ALREADY A BETTER WIFE THEN U WERE.
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
2006-09-27 02:24:32 · answer #1 · answered by brwneyedgrl 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Wow, I too went back and read your other questions, you are a hot mess. Woooooooooow. The other wife is going to ignore you, be happy with her husband, she why he divorced you, feel sorry for him because of the type of woman you are, wonder how he got hooked up with a nut job and be even closer to her husband because of it all. The second wife is probably not asking herself all these questions because she genuinely loves her husband is not hung up on all the things you think she should be. Someone who knows you should read this and call Child Protective Services on you. Get a job and a life.
One more thing, you are "used" as well. What is another man going to do with you since you are divorced with a kid? You are not important enough for the other woman to stress over and after all "it's not her kid". She sounds like a smart 22 year old. Before long they'll be leaving the state and you'll really be hot.
You should've been asking these questions as the girlfriend not the second wife. All of these things were issues before you got married so why are you bringing it up now. If he wanted to work things out with his first wife, why didn't he before he married you?
1. You deal with you husbands ex only when you have to, which usually has something to do with the child, but minimize that by letting your husband handle those issues.
2. Be a friend, mentor and good role model.
3. So has everyone else. How ex's have you had? Everyone has a history with someone else.
4. So what you don't have your own child yet. Enjoy each other, it sounds like you just got married. Why the rush to have a child and change everything.
5. That's the same question as #3. He has an ex-wife and ex-girlfriends.
All the your other questions are stupid and not worth answering since I answered them earlier. You are incredibly insecure. Next time deal with your problems and concerns BEFORE you get married so that you're not ex-wife number 2. No man wants a new wife who is constantly harping and bringing up his ex-wife and why in the hell would he be less of a man? The fact that your asking makes me think "you" think he is less of a man and if you had all these hang ups about someone who has been married before. Why didn't you marry a man who has not been married, there are still a few out there.
2006-09-27 10:21:20 · answer #2 · answered by TIRED 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
1) My husband's ex-wife is remarried and when
we see each other things are fine. We get
along. We are not best friends but we are
not enemies.
2) He has more then one child and the oldest
has children of her own. I think that it is nice.
I like his children. It doesn't bother me.
3) He was burned a lot before we got together.
But then so was I. In time I realized that I
loves him and I am not one to walk away
from the people I love and I knew that he
loved me too. Now we are married but we
started out just as friends.
4) Before I got pregnant I wasn't sure that I
could have children. Before I was married I
knew that he might not want children and that
was something that I was willing to give up.
5) I was not married before but I was no virgin.
He was not my first relationship or sexual
encounter. It was our past relationship that
made us what we are and how we look at
things.
As far as going back with his ex, he doesn't love her. I don't think two people should be together for only children. I think that it should be for love. If I had thought that I was not the one that he loved whole hearted, Then I would of never married him.
2006-09-27 09:13:48 · answer #3 · answered by sscott12414 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am a second wife and my husband is a third! He has no children I have 2. The "X" just got remarried and we were married 6 months ago. She continuously calls him to ask of favors or tell him gossip about mutual friends (that hate her anyhow). He wont tell her to leave him alone. That is very hard to deal with. So under some circumstances that will be all taken care of in November I will tell her myself, he says to have it but I think that will change come time. Now don't get me wrong he doesnt do the things she askes...ever! It's just the fact that he excepts her phone calls. I just have to hide the hurt and frustration. I don't talk to my X at all unless it involves the kids and I rarley ask him I let my new husband handle it. So, knowing that I married someone with a X and so did he, we tolerate the best we can with the other one's until it becomes very personal then we say something. Just grin and bare it. And jealousy is a part of everyones life. Yeah I get jealous but I know he is home with me!
2006-09-27 09:34:23 · answer #4 · answered by Mindy G 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you did not consider all this before you married him.
It is not fair at all for him to compare you with his ex or to talk about her a lot. When he starts to talk about her or their past, you simply change the conversation... as for the child, you might as well get used to the fact that he & the ex will always have this child as a common bond. Remember that she may very well use the child to upset you or cause problems within your marriage.
Above all, do not have a baby with the hopes that it will solve your problems. Wait until you are sure you can cope with your present situation.
Communication is the key in your marriage....have you honestly told your mate how you feel? You need to sit down and talk these matters out.
2006-09-27 09:24:50 · answer #5 · answered by shortfrog 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I also had to change my answer after reading your other questions.
I thought YOU were the 2nd wife and needed advice. your the FIRST wife being an A**.
Your ex husband has every right to happiness. Especially after being with a vindictive, spiteful women like you. He has paid his dept to you. Let him go. You never owned him. Nor did you ever love him.Now he has decided to start over with a women that, hopefully, gives him the love he deserves and your just jealous. GET A LIFE!! And stay out of his. You're just wishing he talked about his life with you. He probably would like to forget it. Nothing good ever came from it except his child. If I was him I would fight you for custody, what you are doing is mental abuse as far as your daughter is concerned. You are a terrible mother. One day your child will look at you with disgust for what you are doing. Believe me I know. I had a mother just like you. When I was 13 yrs old, I went to live with my father and didn't talk to my mom for years later. You think the world revolves around you, well guess what the day you gave birth, your child should have become the center of your universe. Grow the hell up. I would hate to think of any child under your care. Stop using her as a paycheck. Start treating her with respect. Think of HER needs and not yours. YOU created this mess now deal with it.
I wish I knew your ex. It would be intersting if he could print out all of your questions and take your dumb a** to court.
2006-09-27 09:47:58 · answer #6 · answered by ? 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I think that many women admire man with kids,and you shold not feel bad that the other person has been hurt before because it's not your fault,,I think that she should not feel jelouse because every relationship is different,, and on your part you should not talk all the time about that,,,I think when you married again it's like starting all over again so think about it like anew experience,because you are going to live a new thing you are not picking up from where you and your ex stop things,,but you are becoming a better person because you know some of the things you have more experience but you are starting all over again..
2006-09-27 09:16:17 · answer #7 · answered by Airforcepink 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Alright obviously snooky we got issues I know your hurt another woman has your husband but are you damaged goods now no your not in fact someday you may be remarried I assume that this crazy obsessive thing will pass I am giving you the benifit of the doubt of course. I know you think we have a kid together doesn't she get it and yes if she's a good woman she gets it and has every respect for the mother of his child but what you need to deal with is that she may have a child with him too someday and he may very well love this woman angry obsession is not good for you or your child who needs to be told it's ok to love daddy and you must respect daddy's wife because she didn't do anything to you. She didn't knock you up and from the sound of it you did your own marriage in so you need to deal with this like a grown up. Theres always ice cream and liquor sweet sweet alcohol.
2006-09-27 09:05:35 · answer #8 · answered by Katlynn 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am not married but have been married twice. First of all if I felt like any of these things were going to be an issue I would not marry. There is no reason to have these feelings in a marriage where both people have enough in common. The two most important things in life for a couple to have is freedom and trust in each other.
2006-09-27 09:05:32 · answer #9 · answered by Busy Lady 2010 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you sound like my best friend
1)your past is your past try to forget it only communicate on a childrens basis if their is any
2) the child needs both parents your self or if your partners
3)everyone has been burnt just deal with it
4) it does not matter about you not having kids because you will have them
5)you have been with some one before as well i know it hurts to think about it but we all come with a past and dont forget that
the question about your ex their is a reason why they r a ex
cant answer the next q so on to the one about being upset about talking about your previouse marrage its noit a nice thing to hear about but also it is your paast so leave it in the past
it is most likely that she feels as if she is a outsider she does not have the experience that you do give her some time dont let her feel insuperiour to you and your friends
good luck and i hope it works out for you and your new partner
2006-09-27 09:01:29 · answer #10 · answered by katie r 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋