Why do we lose people that are special to us? and how do u get over it?

Question

I lost friends and family but my 2 biggest ones was my brother Steve who was stubbed in NYC 1998 and My best friend Suzanna who was killed 9/11 I still find it hard :o(

I wish my best friend was here im 26 now and Im due to marry 2008 would have loved her to be there I cannot live back in NYC now and even visiting is to hard as I tryed last year

Answer 1

there is no explanation as to why we lose people we love.....i lost my dad ten years ago, i dont think u can ever get over something like that i think u just learn to deal with it over time......i still cry over my dad at least once a week. xx

Answer 2

We loose these people because its just the way life turns. I think loosing a loved one is the most painful and horrific emotion we can endure as human beings. The pain can be overpowering and whilst it fades in time - it never goes away completely.
Death is an everyday occurance and theres no escaping it - its an end that we all have to face - some just soon than others like your brother and your friend.
The only way to get over it is to get on with everyday life - occupy your mind with pleasant thoughts and memories of those you've lost - you never ever have to forget them - and it often helps to think that they're in peace and not suffering where they are now.

Answer 3

Grieving can take a long time, it takes on different roles.
I lost my Mom and Dad within three years of each other, and I took my Mom harder because I watched her die of Cancer, and I still have wicked dreams after 4 years of losing her. My Father died suddenly almost 3 years after my Mom.
1. It is okay to cry, scream , yell and be angry, these are all normal feelings.
2. start a web page to remember them, like a memoriam. Write the cute funny stuff, or just how you feel...and you can visit it whenever you like.
3. Talk to people who remember them, this will make you cry, but it will release the pent up feelings.
4. Take one day at a time.

Take care and I hope things get better for you, and they will eventually

Answer 4

There is no real answer.

We are all spiritual creatures and some people might take comfort from that because they know that the spirit never dies.

It doesn't really help you because they can no longer be part of your life no matter how much you miss them.

I think that what they would hope you would do it to remember them with love from time to time but to enjoy the gift of life and don't waste any of it in negative and painful thoughts.

That means that you should love those who are around you who can still be loved. You should above all concern yourself with your own happiness. That's you main reason for being here.

I dont know you but you seem to me to be a person who it would be nice to be near.

Answer 5

Losing those we care about is always hard and will take time, if not a lifetime, to get over. Losing people in a traumatic way, as your brother and friend were lost, is even harder.
Take it a day at a time, remember the good times, and seek counseling if you need to, just for an outlet. Good luck sweetie.

Answer 6

you don't never get totally over losing someone. you just have to learn to cope. I lost my dad 10 years ago, and there are some days it seems like yesterday. my best friend died suddenly 1 1/2 years ago. we had just been shopping 2 week before, and had spoken 2 days before.I find myself wanting to call her and in my own way i still talk to her and my dad both. when something funny happens for example that steve would think funny, just say steve did you see that. may sound crazy but i think ot helps you will be ok

Answer 7

We lose people cos were all human and we are here to learn and grow from our experiences. Grief and sorrow are a part of life's lessons even if it is painful, but at least it teaches us to love others and show compassion to other people in pain. At the end of the day, those we love and lose never really leave us. They are with us in spirit and as long as they are remembered with love and gratitude for the wonderful gifts they gave us in life. They will never really be lost.

Answer 8

I am so sorry this happened to you.. but you can only feel the lost because they ARE special to you.. that's why it hurts so deep.

If the person does not matter to you, you will not feel like you lose them even though they are gone.

You'll have to move on because there is no way they want to see you waste your life away because of them. Always have them in your heart and show them that you've live your life fully. That's how you'll get over it. Keep yourself alive by keeping them alive in your heart.

Answer 9

i lost a really really good friend back in 1990 and i still miss him now but rather than feel sad at losing him i prefer to celebrate the great times we shared. it makes me smile. i also look up to the stars from time to time and talk to him in case he`s there. i just hope no one thinks i`m nuts wen i do that lol. ur losses must have been very traumatic. i still shed a tear wen i see 9/11 footage on television. keep ur chin up and be proud of who they were

Answer 10

I think it is terrible that you lost your brother and your best friend. I think that we lose people because God needs them. I know its hard I lost my mother about a year ago. I really thought I was going to die but I learned that it just isn't my time yet. So every Sat I take flowers to her grave and I go to the movies cause when she was alive we went to the movies every Sat together. You have to live in their memory on not forget them and being so sad. They wouldn't want you to cry over them. They would want you to go on with your life with them in your heart.

Answer 11

Death is the only thing in life that is guaranteed!. I dont think we ever truly "get over" these things, but in time we come to terms with our losses. I think you would benefit greatly by seeking out a support group - there must be one near you somewhere.

Take time also to appreciate the loved ones that you still have.