Office suicide. Im thinking of a biro related death, any tips?

Question

doesnt just have to involve a biro. Just tips in general. Its important!

OMG god could lisa be more boring???

Answer 1

right in the jugular!

Answer 2

Don't just go for the average biro as they tend to have a very high failure rate. If you want to succeed good and proper make sure you use a fountain pen as they're much more pointy

Answer 3

Search for sites about Paris Hilton... Read the first 50 articles. You'll fall into a catatonic state, they'll take you to the hospital, were you will have an opportunity to reconsider your decision to end with this cruel existence. You might meet a nice nurse who reads Vanity Fair and has a distorted vision of life... Get it??

Answer 4

Borrow a smokers lighter, warm the ink from the Biro, pour it into your victims coffee when they aren't looking, on their next mouth full of coffee they will start choking, hurry them to the nearest window and gently but firmly push them out of it, you can just stand back and say you never realised they were trying to kill themselves by trying to poison themselves on inky coffee.

Answer 5

Ha ha, this questions rings true with me. Office work usually equals mind-numbing boredom and thoughts of how to end it all. My advice, there is light at the end of the tunnel: it's called 5 o'clock.
Hang in there man! And know that you're not the only office droid out there considering drastic escape routes.

Answer 6

Yes, ......... here's a good way to die....

Pen stuck in printer

All of the secretaries in my office were called in to an important personnel meeting. On my way to the meeting, I noticed one of the secretaries was still sitting at her desk, and I asked why she wasn't on her way to the meeting. She complained that her printer wasn't working. I tried to help her by fiddling around inside and lo and behold, we discovered a pen stuck inside the printer.

The secretary started to jam her fingers down in to the printer to get the pen, but I told her we didn't have time for that now as the boss was expecting us all in the meeting. I told her to just put a note on the printer telling folks not to use it and then we could report it to the Help Desk after the meeting. So she grabs a piece of paper and starts scrawling on it.

I left before she finished the note but when we came out of the meeting, I passed her desk and got a good laugh. I then ran to my car to get my camera and took a pic of the note.

check here to see it......
http://www.thewvsr.com/penisstuck.htm

Answer 7

If you are really serious, think about this: if you kill yourself noone will respect you. You'll just be the weakling who gave up on life because you had a few problems,(eg. eveyone who answered so far is probably making fun of you by answering yor question the way you want them to) and no matter what it is, there are people that have it worse than you. My advice- get proffesional help, and quick too.

Answer 8

You get two pencils and sharpen them til they're really sharp.

You stick one in each nostril, pointy side up.

Then you slam your head against the desk.

Answer 9

unravel a paperclip and push up your nose until it penetrates your brain. Dont forget to leave your suicide note on a post-it

Answer 10

what about crucifying yourself to the wall by a huge industrial sized stapler! or if that isnt your kind of thing, why not try tofax your tie and strangle yourself. if these dont work, dont blame me, iv never tried them!

Answer 11

Get a box of bics and extract all of the ink!