postpoems.com posted under pentuprage the title is The Secret. I'm dying to hear from you, and thanks.
2006-09-26 23:35:50 · 4 answers · asked by twistedmind 1 in Arts & Humanities ➔ Books & Authors
www.PostPoems.com/members/
/pentuprage is the link to view "The Secret"
2006-09-27 04:08:04 · update #1
Interesting theology, I dont know what you meant by the last line in the first stanza it doesnt seem to connect well with what you were saying. "and all that was given to me....I watched them leave because i didnt beleive." this last line is confusing at best. also it doesnt follow in the same form as the rest of the poem.
see
be
me
beleive
dedication
participation
etc....
It might help the flow of the poem if you can make the stanzas the same. Finally you seem to be saying that god has deserted you because of your failings. Im not sure how you have come to beleive this. I dont want to attack your personal beleif system but i do not think god deserts us when we sin, but in fact we are deserting Him. But what is wonderful about God is that he, well he is GOd , and hence contains the capacity for perfect grace. Good ideas though, its very very personal i see you are longing for truth and righteousness. I recommend you check out the poem by John Donne called Batter My Hearth Three-Personed GOd...its from the existential era of english literature so it will not be in the same form you wrote in, but i think you will like it.
2006-09-27 12:23:49 · answer #1 · answered by angrylittlefisherman 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i have written a poem...and would like some feedback...?!
2006-09-27 07:31:32 · answer #2 · answered by tatal_nostru2006 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
could not read it
2006-09-27 06:47:09 · answer #3 · answered by Rim 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Couldn't find it. Can you provide a link please?
2006-09-27 06:49:24 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋