My son and his wife had a wedding in June. I never recieved a thank you card for gift and my other son did not recieve one either. My son asked his wife if she sent out thank you cards and she said she did. There is a little bad blood between her and I. Just make a long story short, I think she looks at our family as "beneath" hers. I feel this was done on purpose on her part. Or am I being an over sensitive mom?
2006-09-26 23:15:00 · 15 answers · asked by nnett64 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
The classy and appropriate action would have been to send a Thank You card to everyone who gave gifts shortly after returning from the honeymoon. It is rude and inexcusable that she didn't send you both an Thank You card. Your son is especially at fault he should have made sure that you both were sent ones first. Like you or not is not an excuse for bad form. Don't walk on eggshells with this woman and or your son. Tell them exactly what you think and feel. You are a mother not an intruder and a stranger. Don't send any more gifts to them for their anniversary etc.... Not even a card. Her callous action shows not that she looks at your family as being beneath hers but that she is selfish and has a sense of "entitlement" like the world owes her a living. While I would never interfere in a marriage ; I would say that in this instance your son should only be able to tolerate just so much before he learns from his mistake. Don't be sad "mom" ; she isn't worth one moment of your heartfelt tears.
2006-09-27 05:25:45 · answer #1 · answered by AVA 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Being a tad oversensitive there. So what if she didn't send you a thank you, you did the right thing in giving a present. You have the upper hand there. She may have sent them out and there was a problem with yours and your sons, maybe not. I think this is a bad way to begin a relationship with your daughter in law. Just keep turning the cheek because there are more important things to consider here, your son, any children that may come from the marriage. Find a stress reliever and whatever you do, when she is around, smile. If she is really trying to be nasty then this will just shred her cheese lol.
2006-09-26 23:28:44 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is custom to send the cards within 3 months or 2 weeks after the honeymoon. That said I will also add it doesn't have to be an official thank you card- a Thank you letter works just as well for those that do not have money for the cards. And of course most people have computers and create something fancy from the computer with out expense. So lack of money is not the issue here.
If you feel that she (as in your daughter in law) has only neglected to send thank yous to your side of the family you have a couple of options: 1. Ask your other son to talk to his brother and suggest that he send the cards out to his side of the family. After all the responsibility doesn't rest solely on the bride.
Option 2: Inform your son that several people (meaning you and his brother) didn't receive thank you cards- and you worry that it might reflect poorly on both of them, and you know that they would never not send them out- so to err on the side of safety they could send them out again- just worded differently. Just little notes saying "Again we would like to thank you for your participation in our wedding and your support", or something along those lines- That way if the person had already received a note it doesn't sound odd, and if their note was lost it covers the bases. Your son could do this and smooth over any ill will between the families regarding the thank you notes.
2006-09-26 23:46:21 · answer #3 · answered by newrabbit 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If "thank yous" were said at the wedding ceremony to those present, cards would only be an added expense for the couple. If you feel that your daughter in law looks down on your family, why did she marry into it in the first place? If there's bad blood between the two of you - why did you let your son marry her to begin with? Basically, thank you cards are sent 2-3 weeks after a wedding only to those who were not present during the wedding.
2006-09-26 23:21:11 · answer #4 · answered by Equinox 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Supposed to be 2 weeks after the honeymoon is over.
In our case, when we were married, we paid for everything and couldn't afford thank you cards. I think you read too much into it and you need to be the better person and seal the rift, if in fact there is one. This could get really ugly in the future. For the sake of your son, make good!!
2006-09-26 23:20:12 · answer #5 · answered by rswdew 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
After divorce
Why do you expect a thank-you card is your love for children so that it can be written down in a piece of paper.
It is but natural that M I L feels left out when a D I S enters the house.
So forget and be as natural as possible dont expect anything you will be happy and they too
2006-09-26 23:36:24 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i might deliver the travelers that did not provide you a marriage present a thank you card for attending your particular party. thank you taking part in cards could be despatched out on the very modern-day six months after the marriage! If that's distinctly not likely that those travelers do deliver you a modern-day in six to twelve months, you are able to deliver them yet another card.
2016-10-01 10:15:37 · answer #7 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think your being sensitive it's been 4 months your supposed to send out ty cards before 3 months r up
2006-09-26 23:19:42 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Within six weeks is an appropriate time.
You don't want to start out on the wrong foot here. Do your best to be positive and welcome his choice. You must not play any part in making him unhappy with his marriage. Regardless to what her attitude is, meet it with enthusiasm and character. Here is a quote I would like to share with you. "Whenever things are not going your way...use it as a chance to show how much class you have".
2006-09-26 23:24:05 · answer #9 · answered by Robere 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The GEN X of children born in the late 70s 80's just have the flippant don't care attitude as if you OWE them the gifts. I taught my children to be appreciative of gifts and to always send thanks yous----but when my two oldest boys married neither one of them sent out gifts for anything. Their wives just didn't find it necessary!! I guess their MOMS didn't teach them the etiquette called appreciation manners!
Forget it about it MOM....pick your battles with the new daughter in law!!
2006-09-26 23:36:46 · answer #10 · answered by aunt_beeaa 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋