hi i m a 18 years old gal! i m very unhappy .. dunno the reason may be past and present life! i dun't share warm relatons with my family! i was in a relationship that also failed! never had any good friends.. now i m in a relationship and have a best budyy.. but things are not good.. they both have a better chemistry and also my best bud had once a crush on my present bf..but now they consider each other bro and sis! thigs are not good..basically i m very insecure person.. DEPRIVED of LOVE.. the more i get the more i want.. what should i do .. neither have good relations vid my family my siblings .. i do not even love my self.. my life has become a total hell.. sometimes i feel like killing myself .. my bf his attiutde is very cold sometimes.. and my best bud ,, even i feel no more staying vid her .. what should i do ? where am i wrong ?
my all relations are never successful .. feel like killing myself
2006-09-26 22:20:45 · 12 answers · asked by gorgeous girl . 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
i'm so sorry. i know what it feels like. i was an insecure and even shy person myself. felt like my wings were "broken". i could not achieve anything and was too insecure to feel confident enough to fight for my own goals. i had to find my own path. it was a good path. i would get into the kind of situation you are in now. like i left the door open for anyone to walk in and take away what i had. it still feels now that i am a too kind person. i let people do more than i should let them. like my best friend was having a terrific great evening with my bf.. me sitting beside them and getting more and more angry and cool. i could not stand it. i got angry. told my boyfriend in a very very cool way that he overdid the sympathy. and i told him this was nothing i wanted. and that i was soo disappointed that he had no feeling for the right measure. angryness helped!! made me cool. and made me not afraid of clear words later. he actually got the clue.. and let me tell you.. this friend no longer joins us when we go out. i even told her that she overdid the thing (lots). i had to learn that at some point you have to become an egoist :) you have to learn to speak out your mind. and angryness and coolness helps sometimes, if you in general are a harmony-loving person. makes you forget compromises. because compromises can be a bad choice regarding this kind of question. i also now do have a kind of a friend who is flirty with so many men. and she would love to get closer to my bf. but let me tell you this - keep this person (your buddy) OUT of your LIFE for the moment. keep to your boyfriend or make new cool friends. a friend who does not respect your relationship (and taking no care for your hurt feelings counts!!) is NO FRIEND AT ALL. get in a distance. act cool. and tell your boyfriend the reason. tell him the truth that a real friend would not try to have a better relationship to your bf than to you!!! be angry. you can be. no time to be sorry for harsh words. this is just not ok. i want to help you feeling less helpless. want to show you that you must fight for your live :-) it is worth it!! you will get respected in return if you speek out your mind. be open. be also open to other people. we all have our small or bigger problems. some hide. others seem like loosers. and even the most selfassure people (and arrogant people) have the same kind of feeling. it is important that you accept your hurt feelings, that you TALK about them and that you ACT in the right way. so that it makes you feel accepted (at least that you accept yourself!) and once you start acting in the way YOU want, you will start loving yourself. give it a try... and if you love yourself enough, strange enough, you will get the acceptance and even love of other persons. be yourself. and get rid of false friends ;-) (and start thinking if your boyfriend is the right one 4U too..consideration might be worth it. don't accept behaviour that hurts you. make it clear.)
get a new job. get a new hobby. find new friends there.. be open and look around. you might be sad now. feeling helpless. but look around and open your eyes for all the possibilities in life (if you only dare!!) realise your wishes. start with the small ones.. you will start loving it :-)) please try, promised??
take care, girl + good luck
i think of you.
you will get through this trouble :-)
p.s. what did help in my case, was taking up a promotion job. this is where you show new products to people i.e. in a shop and it was like jumping over a obstacle at first. i had to loose my shyness and just talk. i learned how to do easy and even flirty conversation thanks to this job. made me feel much better!! suddenly i was less afraid of faults. i lost my shyness and become a better me :-) working in a bar might also help ;-) just as a part-time job besides school or university??
2006-09-27 21:38:01 · answer #1 · answered by india18 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i would definatly start with your gp. they are doing multi -choice tests now to see check the level of someone`s mental health.
on the subject of the siblings, parents etc, i am in the same boat too, my parents were, and still are unable to show real love to me, and now im in my 40`s i just have to accept it. my sister who is older than me has never been able to accept and now has a lot more problems in her life because of this. all you can do is tell yourself you will be a better parent they they were, and knowing the mistakes they made, will help you succeed in this matter.
the only other advice i can offer is this, remember there is nothing wrong with needing some help with "head" problems, those days are long gone. Everyone will have some kind of mental health problem, to some extent, at some stage in their life.
try to surround yourself with the things and people that DO make you happy, but start with your gp.
2006-09-27 05:35:27 · answer #2 · answered by royster 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get a grip girl!!! love yourself and everything else will fall into place. We get ONE life. live it queen size!!! You are in a relationship. That can really help you. Stop being insecure about yourself. Talk to your bf about your feelings. Its always better to share your feelings rather to keep it all in your heart. It becomes too much to think about. All you need is a person who will patiently LISTEN and understand you. Things will be fine.
2006-09-27 05:38:03 · answer #3 · answered by noesis 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi there. There is nothing worng with you honey. You are 18 years old its very common to feel depressed. Wich I think you are. You should make a doctor appoinment to talk to a pro to get help with working out issues with yourself. Dont worry about boys and friends. Nobody can make you happy but yourself. Worry about school and you will feel better!
2006-09-27 05:30:01 · answer #4 · answered by Alicia Goins 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's not normal to feel that hurt or sad. I am sorry you are going through this. NObody should feel that kind of sadness. I think you should talk to your doctor about it. I have been depressed for as long as I can remember....I always refused to take the anti depressants...I take them now (my father passed) Now that i take them regularly....I am doing alot better. YOu should consider it. I hope the best for you. Best of luck.
2006-09-27 05:25:25 · answer #5 · answered by wardsha2002 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You did'nt do anything wrong. Its not your fault that your bf is cold sometimes. Try talking to your family and your friends about how your feeling are toward somebody, it should help.
2006-09-27 05:27:03 · answer #6 · answered by kimosabe 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I feel really sorry 4 u. Please go 2 your doctor and ask 4 help bcoz your very depressed. maybe u cud start a course or get a new job 2 meet new people.
2006-09-27 05:25:56 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Poor girl.....tat quite sad.. Y dun u go mall 2shop around or makes new friends around u. I can b ur friend if u need help from it.
2006-09-27 05:26:12 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
oh dear .. come down a bit ..
don't thing such a thoughts .. its just u have to understand more the person u are dealing with .. and be more self confidence
2006-09-27 05:28:11 · answer #9 · answered by mazen71j 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
l'm depressed to but l just keep moving on hoping and praying for something to change. lf you need someone to chat with l'm a good listener.
2006-09-27 05:25:04 · answer #10 · answered by catsclaw 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋