My boyfriend and I have been dating for 4 years...Understandibly we have been through a lot together.
Yesterday we celebrated our 4-year anniversary!
We ended up having a fight, i tried to handle something that i thought he might appreciate, but i really didnt see it through and it would have ended costing me, money-wise that is...
He got really angry with me, and this is one of his biggest flaws...and when i explained to him what his reaction made me feel, he just simply said that he did not give a ****.
So he took his stuff over to his apartment, since i told him to leave, this is because he was blaming me for everything that went wrong, and i just could not take it.
Eventually i went over to his place, and was sobbing while telling him how his reactions make me feel, since i have dealt with a lot of verbal abuse in the past...
He promised to change.He has always expected the best out of me, and i know that he loves me, but do you think he will change?
2006-09-26 21:19:43 · 7 answers · asked by Patience 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He will only change with help, keep talking, and explain that the only way to solve your issues or differences is talking it out not yelling.
It is abuse, verbal and emotional. Not to be played with or put up with.
Try to figure things out togther if he doesn't bend. Then you need a change and plenty of space.
2006-09-26 21:26:55 · answer #1 · answered by powerofconviction 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all - don't expect anyone to change in a relationship because we are what we are - warts and all - take it or leave it. You love a person not for what he/she can become or because you expect the best from each other. When you love someone - you accept that person's good traits and bad traits as well. Because it is what makes them who they are. If you both can only accept yourselves by putting your best foot forward but oppress the bad side - in time all you'll share are the bad traits and thats tragic. Encountering each other's negative traits should help improve things between you because you can work it out as it shows up. But to keep them from happening will not make your relationship work. AND LASTLY, if you're getting verbal abuse from him AT THIS STAGE- he isn't worth fighting for. No man has the right to abuse a woman - verbally, physically, emotionally, mentally, sexually and spiritually. No man is worth that kind of abuse.
2006-09-27 06:06:01 · answer #2 · answered by Equinox 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
From your question, I just don't have enough information to give any advice at all. What was the fight about? What were you trying to 'handle' that you thought he might appreciate? If his telling you that he does not give a **** is what you consider verbal abuse, then to be honest it sounds to me like you might be a challenge to get along with yourself. What exactly do you want him to change from, and change to? Perhaps you could be really honest with yourself and ask yourself what your part in this is. What areas of your unhappiness in the relationship are you really responsible for?
2006-09-27 05:10:23 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he is sincere enough and love you. Give him a chance. But I am amused about your question, you know this guy for 4 years and still dont understand him? Where does your judgement fails, lets understand that first. By now you should be convinced that he is the man for you or you are simply living on a borrowed time. Have a fresh look at this relationship.
Good luck.
2006-09-27 04:23:57 · answer #4 · answered by Guru 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
NO, he will never change!!! It will only get worse! Haven't you noticed that each passing year it get a little tougher then the yr before? He can promise you the world, he needs to show you some actions.
2006-09-27 04:24:58 · answer #5 · answered by MoneyMoneyMoney 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not untill u stick to your guns, and put him on the begging end .. till then he's going to do it over and over Why? why not he gets to throw his tantrum and then u go back crying and begging him back, whats he learning?????? that actting badly gets him what he wants.. so untill u make a stand and let him know that ur not going to put up with his B.S. and put it on him to feel the "need" to change he's not going to..
2006-09-27 04:23:01 · answer #6 · answered by brwneyedgrl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
YOU HAVE TO ASK YOURSELF THIS : [ IN THE 4 YEARS THAT WE HAVE BEEN TOGETHER ,HOW MANY TIMES HAS HE PROMISED TO CHANGE HIS WAYS? ] THERE IS THE ANSWER YOU ARE LOOKING FOR. OR HAS HE CHANGED SOME OF THEM? { MY WIFE & I HAVE BEEN MARRIED FOR TEN YEARS , COUNTING THOSE TEN TOGETHER FOR NINETEEN THATS INCLUDING A 4 YEAR SEPARATION BECAUSE I WOULD NOT CHANGE MY WAYS WHEN SHE TOOK ME BACK SHE GOT A TOTALY DIFFERENT PERSON} LOVE IS A TRAIL WHERE TWO PEOPLE MUST WALK TOGETHER OR SURELY THAT TRAIL WILL DISSAPPEAR
2006-09-27 04:45:51 · answer #7 · answered by crash man 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋