Ive told my friends i am pregnant and most are really happy for me. However, there is one friend who sounded positively miserable when i told her. She couldn't even say the word "congratulations" without spitting it out, and its really upset me. She has a daughter of nine, and is now with a new partner. He canot have children and i know she would dearly like another but cannot. She won't consider adoption as it has to be his child or nothing. Whilst I understand her sorrow to a degree, im feeling that its very selfish to act like this to me. I have been a very good friend to her in the past, standing by her when she had no one else would (not even her parents) due to her actions in the past (another long story). OK she can't have another child but she already has one and i feel she is being very unfair towards me. How should I approach this or should i just let it go?
2006-09-26 21:17:41 · 13 answers · asked by Serry's mum 5 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
piepiepie - that is your choice but i believe u are missing the point! Ifu were my friend and u came to me and told me u had just got a fantasic job u wanted for ages, then i would be estatic for u. Not because I would want the job myself but because U WERE MY FRIEND and I would want the best for u!! do u understand!! its not about the baby, its about friendship
2006-09-26 21:43:56 · update #1
She's just upset and jealous, and she'll come around. Let it go. If she doesn't become more supportive of you over the next few months, have a talk with her about it. But first, give her a chance.
2006-09-26 21:22:21 · answer #1 · answered by Alli 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had a similar situation with a good friend once & after initially being quite dissapointed & upset by her reaction (or lack of!).It helped me appreciate how lucky i was that i had this gift when so many other deserving people could not.
After giving her some time & space to come round,i dealt with it by getting my friend really involved with things & she is now my sons Godmother!
It sounds like your friend must value your friendship if you have supported her a lot in the past so i'd give her time to deal with her conflicting emotions & i'm sure she'll want to be there for you.
Genuine congratulations by the way! :-)
2006-09-26 21:54:12 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
She's jealous right now which is understandable so, just wait for her to come around. I don't think you'll need to confront her about this as that could cause more problems than a little jealousy. I also don't believe that she has to act or be extrordinarily happy for you either just because you are having a baby just because she is your friend.
I'm childfree and don't understand the choice to have children and I can never act as excited as mothers or women who want to be mothers act when it comes to pregnancy. I'll be polite but, I'm really just thinking it's weird and how very disgusting pregnancy is.
2006-09-26 21:36:51 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If the friendship is important to you, then you have to forgive her. Yes, like what others say, she is jealous and I'm sure you know it. Sometimes the pain of those close to us getting what we desperately want will cause undue anger... she may be thinking why why why and thus show her frustration towards you. Give her time to cool off. If she doesn't... there isn't much you can do but don't be nasty to her coz she would probably throw a fit.
If the friendship is not important to you, then move on, since she's showing herself to not be a true friend anyway.
2006-09-26 21:30:40 · answer #4 · answered by pro163 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with you that she is being selfish , but one of the test of true friendship , is if your friendship can stand little bumps in the road like this one. She is feeling badly about this, and yeah she is wallowing in her own selfish misery but you have to allow for some time to go by and she will most likely come around.
2006-09-26 21:25:29 · answer #5 · answered by kayro3 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just ignore her.her reaction is very bad.as you write she is already a mother so she should understand how you feel. anyway the fact is that you don't need to be surrounded by such people. i know how it feels wanting to share sth good with the others and seeing them not getting happy for you or what is happening to you. i don't think that giving her a chance will help the situation.people never change they only pretend. take care and enjoy what is happening to you
2006-09-26 22:31:05 · answer #6 · answered by rovina g 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When someone's bitter and hurting, they can only give what they've got. You can tell her how you feel, but don't count on her suddenly changing her ways. If you can't be comfortable with her, then pull away. I know it hurts you for her to be so self-centered. It hurts her to be that way even more.
I know you'll figure out what's best for you and your baby. Congratulations! And good luck with your friend.
2006-09-26 21:41:55 · answer #7 · answered by beast 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that she is really upset more about loosin your friendship as the baby will take up alot of your time. Include her in a few of your shopping and perhaps a med apt or two.
2006-09-26 22:17:14 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give her time. Eventually she will realize that your friendship shouldn't end because of an innocent unborn child. Be strong and don't let stress get to you during your pregnancy. Stress isn't good for you nor your growing baby.
2006-09-26 21:36:10 · answer #9 · answered by Tina 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are a good friend you will do you best to understand her situation and give her time to come around. She will be happy for you in time if she is a true friend.
2006-09-26 21:25:53 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋