I wrote earlier seeking answers. Per advice, I went to a lawyer for the next step. My mind say leave him. I found him in so many lies. How can you trust him? He came in this marriage with nothing and he will leave the same. My heart say I still want him. I invest half my life in him. One person wrote: maybe I was with this idiot so long that I don't know how stupid I have been for staying. I feel that was a true statement. Just the same how do I break that cycle. I love the other one, spend a few dollars and get my head examine and dump him. Again this idiot has been in my life majority of my life. I am a 43 and feel who would want me now. I am in the wrong time zone. I just feel that you don't have to be with me all day, but when its time to go to bed, I want you laying next to me. Have fun, but give me some, too. Do I keep the old comfortable shoes which I know how it feels, buy new shoes which I would have to get use too or go bare foot?
2006-09-26 20:59:30 · 11 answers · asked by Chyna R 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
As hard as it seems, LET HIM GO. He simply wants to have his cake and eat it too. 9 times out of 10 you will remain married to him forever living seperate lives and then you can't go on with your life. 43 is not old by any means. There are still lots of years left to focus on your needs and not his. Who needs a man anyway? As far as needed someone to lay next to you, go get a puppy. It has the same effect and is much more appreciative.
2006-09-27 04:42:43 · answer #1 · answered by stacilynn26 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your husband obviously wants the comfort of having you take care of him domestically but wants another for sex and excitement. Where does your feelings and needs come in in all this? The way he would like to have it, your feelings don't count. Hey girl, you know this is wrong. Sounds to me like you have very low self-esteem. Men can do that to you. Don't feel like since you are 43 that no one would want you. There are plenty of lonely men out there. What you must realize is that you deserve better than what he is suggesting. As a married man, he either is loyal to you and love you like he should, or he doesn't deserve you. We only have one life, honey, and to live with him the way he is suggesting is totally unfair to you. Tell him he is married to YOU! Either he wants to be married or he doesn't. If he says he wants to stay married to you, then he should act accordingly. If he still insists he wants just to be friends, tell him fine, MAYBE you could be FRIENDS with him after the DIVORCE. I know your fear of being single again. I've been there. Granted, my situation is different in that my husband died. But what I'm trying to say to you is that there is life after a divorce or in my case, death. I'm over 60 now so 43 is very young. You need some counseling to build up your self-worth. Obviously in your situation with your husband, you aren't feeling it. I'm rambling. Just don't put up with what he is dishing out, honey. You deserve better!!!!
2006-09-26 22:35:36 · answer #2 · answered by Blondie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some say "I'd rather be alone than unhappy" just leave him and go wherever life takes you. You won't regret it. Don't worry about the dating scene, live for you and take care of yourself, the rest will come in good time. Just be cautious when you do date. There are a lot of losers out there looking for someone to take care of them while they rip you of evrything you do have right under your nose. Say No to being friends and cut all ties, friends don't lie to you like that if they're your real friends. That's my advice.
Stand your grand and good luck
2006-09-26 21:13:00 · answer #3 · answered by powerofconviction 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
so u as his wife will be demoted to just a friend while he dates another and see if he can get off his responsibility as a father and a husband, and while staying in the same roof as u while u cook and clean and continue the responsibility of a wife?????
doesnt it sound really unfair and absurd?
well, its like this. u cut a cut sooo deep, the doc suggested to amputate or risk having the wound spread too far and suffer pain from time to time. what will u do?
most people in their right senses would amputate and get it over with (we are talking about desperate situation here) and save the rest of their body parts and let go of the pain. no one would like to have a bigger wound day by day .. hurting .. hurting.. hurting.. and at the end of it, STILL have it amputated and risk having a larger part taken away.
2006-09-26 21:06:31 · answer #4 · answered by The Punisher 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Old comfortable shoes wear out, you don't have to buy a new one but keeping the old one will definately hurt your feet. Go out and enjoy yourself with friends, you won't know what you will find. Don't think too much as nothing good will come out from it. Most important is to be happy,
2006-09-26 21:11:46 · answer #5 · answered by TigerLemon 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
dear with him ur leading a miserable life,ur expecting and hoping tomorrows after tomorrows he'd change but do u enof courage to whiten ur hair all ur life?its hard to move on at 43.how can a husband tell he wants to be fren with his wife???dats the most ridiculous argument i evr heard!!u'll have a breakdown if u insist on standing in this situation.Get some space go on vacation for a couple of weeks u'll have a fresh mind and be in better position both to know wher u stand.hope for the best.
2006-09-26 21:19:04 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is best to be bare foot and forget about those old pair of shoes.They might seem comfortable but they have holes inside that will eventually get bigger and you'll find yourself once again barefoot but also disappointed. Read between the soles.
2006-09-26 21:16:43 · answer #7 · answered by T.Mack 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
why dont u try going solo for awhile.. test the waters so to speak .. and then make a informed decision of what u want in your life, sometimes we are so scared of the unknown that we stay in unhealthy relationships because we feel we dont have any other choice.. so try doing your own thing for a bit.. and see how it goes.. go on a couple dates.. and see if maybe ur stronger then u think u are.. and i dont think ur in love with who he is today.. i think ur in love with the man he use to be to u.. dont settle till u know for sure.. u dont want to go through another 5 long years just to wish u had made a different choice in ur life..
2006-09-26 21:14:14 · answer #8 · answered by brwneyedgrl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can be 50 but look 15 years younger... work on yourself. let that man go, get a grip on your self respect and move on. Men will always be there, you will find someone who will love u the way u want to be loved. leave him and save yourself from heart ache.
2006-09-26 21:17:22 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him to suck off and move on...
2006-09-26 21:09:26 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋