I met my fiancee in India, we travelled and ended up living together in his home town in Ireland. When we met, it was complicated, he moved in with me because his hotel had burned down and had no where to go. We hooked up because it was the conveniant thing to do I guess - even though he tells me that he loved me the first time he saw me. I was never really that attracted to him but he has a lovely personality and I love that about him.
He is so sensetive and doesn't take things very well.
I do love him but I know that if I move over there again (this time for good) I will regret it. He probably will too as he will be able to tell something is up.
We do have sex but I am really not attracted to him in that way, I imagine him to be a woman when we do and I pretend to like it. We joked about me leaving him for a woman and he said it would **** him up. I make excuses for not having sex all the time.
I have to tell him before I risk doing much more damage. Only question is how?
2006-09-26 20:44:21 · 31 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
You just gota be straight with him - the longer you leave it the harder it will be - just tell him your sexual preferences have changed - you've tried to deny your feelings toward the opposite sex and that whilst you care about him no end that if you go ahead with the wedding that it WILL end in divorce and there will be more unnecessary paperwork/expenses to deal with then than there is if you split now.
Explain that he is a A1 kinda guy - but you cant help your sexual preferences.
2006-09-26 22:05:47 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi, I would be as honest as you can with him. I would tell him exactly how you feel. it's not a him thing but a you thing. I've just come out a long term relationship which ended very badly. had the guy been totally honest with me we would never ended like that but on a good note. Although you think you doing more damage your not. Honesty is the best policy and he needs to wake up to some of his flaws! After all we all get over it at some point, don't we! Be nice though...
2006-09-27 03:57:35 · answer #2 · answered by Angel eyes 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You just have to tell him that you had a great time together but moving to Ireland wouldn't work for what you want out of life. If he is that sensitive you wont be able to say anything rite so just keep it short and then after a few weeks you can chat about the whys and hows. Good luck and well done being honest..
2006-09-27 03:49:53 · answer #3 · answered by mum 2 Cameron and Ewan 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Please tell him before youg et married and have children.
Tell him you're a lesbian (are you?) and much as you love him, you don't want to deny him a proper relationship. My friend had this happent o her - after twenty yers of marriage. Come clean now - it will hurt but it's a bit like a toothache. The quicker you get it seen to, the quicker it will be over.
2006-09-27 03:56:20 · answer #4 · answered by True Blue Brit 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is never a good way to break up with someone.
I have found that honesty is the best policy though.
You not only have to think of him you have to think of you and if it is not right then it is not right. If he truly understands you he will be half expecting this anyway.
Good luck.
2006-09-27 05:05:10 · answer #5 · answered by advent m 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
JUST KEEP IT REAL AND TELL HIM. THERE IS NO REASON TO STRING THIS MAN ALONG ANY LONGER ESPECIALLY IF YOU ARE NOT ATTRACTED TO HIM LIKE THAT. IT IS ALRIGHT TO JUST BE FRIENDS, AND YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN STRAIGHT FORWARD IN THE BEGINNING AND LET HIM KNOW THAT YOU DO NOT LIKE HIM IN THAT WAY. THERE'S NOTHING THAT SAYS JUST BECAUSE YOU HELP SOMEONE OUT AND LET THEM MOVE IN WITH YOU-YOU'RE OBLIGATED TO **** THEM OR BE IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH THEM. IT ALSO SEEMS LIKE YOU ARE PRETTY CONFUSED ABOUT WHAT OR WHO YOU ARE INTERESTED IN, AND PROBABLY SHOULD NOT PURSUE ANY RELATIONSHIPS UNTIL YOU GET THAT FIGURED OUT.
2006-09-27 03:58:14 · answer #6 · answered by CANDYYAMS28 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When you two are alone and the sooner the better. Just tell him what you feel and yes it will hurt you as well as him but girl you need to do this quick its unfair on the both ov you! good luck.
2006-09-27 03:48:10 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
by the sounds of it your gonna break his heart whenever and wherever you tell him, so its probably just better to get it over and done with. I know thats probably not what you want to hear but you will both be happier in the long run.
Good Luck
2006-09-27 03:49:24 · answer #8 · answered by buffy Fan 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You just have to do it you cant drag it out!! Why are you engaged if you didnt want to get married?? You need to go to his home and tell him so he feels semi secure being somehwere familiar! you need to talk it through with him and then leave asap hanging around will make things worse
2006-09-27 03:49:29 · answer #9 · answered by aimzinch 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh dear...
You should really have told him earlier....
What are you really getting from this relationship?
It's best for all of you to end it soon... make a clean break and move on....
Waiting and saying nothing will only make it worse...
Have courage and go for it..
All the best wishes
2006-09-27 03:48:08 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋