My ex boyfriend and I broke up a month ago. He wanted nothing to do with me. I just found out I was pregnant by him and now he is saying he wants to get back together and be here for the baby which is awesome but I feel that is the only reason why he is wanting me back now. I already have a child who is two by my ex husband and I dont think I can raise another child on my own. I just dont have the money Im barely making it as it is. i used protection because I wasnt ready for another baby but as you know, it didint work. Im scared and dont know what to do. I thought about abortion which I dont agree with but I dont know if i will have a choice. If I knew my ex was serious about getting back together I think we would be fine but I dont want him to just do that because I am pregnant now with his child, I would want him to because thats what he really wants and isnt going to just do it because he feels its the right thing to do. Could he want me back not just because of the baby?
2006-09-26 20:16:10 · 15 answers · asked by kristen e 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
It seems as if he is man enough to be a daddy to his child. Be happy about that, at least you know your relationship meant something or he wouldn't want that much. As far as you and he are concerned, traet the relationship as if it is a stepping stone. Let him be a father, let him be your BF if you wish. If it doesn't work out then at least you know you tried and your child will have his father still, that's what is important. If you don't believe in abortions then don't do it. There are many couples that want children and have to adopted from other countries because the list is so long here. A life is a gift not a curse, so don't exasperate yourself over this. Enjoy your pregnancy with someone that will love the baby with you.
2006-09-26 20:32:09 · answer #1 · answered by Liome 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Staying together for the kids puts a lot of pressure on the kids. My parents are happy now but, when I was teen it was because of 'the kids' that they stayed together and because of 'the kids' that they were so miserable. Sometimes I would pray that they would get divorced. It's something that you'll need to talk to with your ex about and decide what to do.
If you don't agree with abortion as a choice for you but, feel as if you cannot raise another child on your own, you can choose adoption for the new one. You can also use that time to work on your relationship with your ex. Maybe you two can seek some couples therapy and who knows, you might decide not to let it go for adoption in the end. Abortion is a heavy decision that should not be taken lightly or rushed into but, sometimes it is the best decision for that time. Research your options abortion, adoption and keeping the child. Talk with your ex and choose wisely.
2006-09-27 04:43:06 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well i must admit that this is a tough one.But in life we have to make some decisions not just for ourselves but also for the people we love.Agreed he might be coming back for the wrong reason but you are lucky to have a man that wants to own up to his responsiblities,i advice you let him come back and try to work things out people love others for different reasons we are all not the same,A man can fall in love with a woman bacause she agreed to bring forth his child.You have 2 other options which are to have an abortion and feel guilty for killing some one just cause you feel you cant raise him alone when you have someone that will be happy to help.And the other option is to have him alone and ask for child suport.which I dont think is easy because caring for a baby goes beyond money.It's your choice anyway but i think you should try to sort things out with him, both of you can fall in love in the process.I wish you luck.
2006-09-27 03:46:07 · answer #3 · answered by sadia 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honestly, no one on here can tell you what your ex-boyfriend is thinking. But the reason why he wants to get back with you doesn't really matter in this case-- you said if you knew he was serious about wanting to get back together then you think you could continue with the pregnancy and raise the child BUT even if he is serious about getting back together (for whatever reason) what happens when he decides to leave again? You shouldn't really count on anyone but yourself at this point. If you don't think you can raise this child by yourself (with support from your family, friends, and your government if absolutely necessary) then maybe you should look into adoption.
2006-09-27 03:30:17 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's obvious he only wants you back because of the baby and those are the worst types of relationships to have...the kind where two people say"we're working things out for the kids' sake". You don't agree with abortion, that's fine, you don't have to be with him in order to do it either he'll have to pay child support and help you through this.
Ultimately, the choice is yours, just don't stay with someone for th sake of the kids, it always makes things worse.
Good Luck.
2006-09-27 03:23:06 · answer #5 · answered by makeitclap23 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey sometimes you've got to look on the bright side of things! Your ex could be the answer to all your problems. I'm sorry but I don't think you should abort a baby because you don't think you can handle it alone. I know it's hard but you won't be alone with your new baby to love you! Sounds like your ex cares enough about you and the baby to want to take care of you. Let him.
2006-09-27 03:34:09 · answer #6 · answered by Rebecca V 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he is wanting to get back together because of the pregnancy, I would be very hesitant. This doesn't sound very legit to me. If you feel there is no option with the pregnancy, give the baby up for adoption. There are many childless couples who would be willing to take in an infant and raise him/her as their own. Check with any religious service organizations such as Catholic charities or Birthright and see if they can help you. Please think this through very carefully before you make any hasty decisions that you will regret later. God bless.
2006-09-27 03:26:26 · answer #7 · answered by scarlettohara1861 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it could mean that he wants to get back together because he loves the baby and he feels that he has the responsibility. What other choice do you have, i mean you couldn't raise the kid by yourself. Whether you think he comes back b/c of you or not, you should stop now. Why do you still think about yourself?? Think about the kid too, you both share the responsibilty for that kid and that's all it matters..
2006-09-27 03:22:10 · answer #8 · answered by Tank D 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well having a baby is a little bigger than any arguments you had in the past. Maybe he just grew up a little? Give him a go and see what sort of dad he is? There are worse things in life.
2006-09-27 03:23:45 · answer #9 · answered by teef_au 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The question I have to ask you is this:
Do you love him still and want him back?
If that is the case, go grab him!
If you don't want him back, just make sure you get those child support papers in order as soon as you can.
Good luck!
2006-09-27 03:25:49 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋