I've been trying to leave my husband now actively for the last 4 years. Everytime I try it turns into a huge deal even though I know he loves someone else, as do I. I've tried to get him to admitt that the relationship is over and he will to a certain extent but he is clinging to this like divorce will destroy the family. Background; we've been together on and off for 12 years, have 4 kids but recently started living together even though we got married 6 years ago. It hasn't been all bad but. But when it is bad it's horrible the way things go down. Also, he's been messing around with the same female for damn near 7 years, even though she's married also now. All I want is to be free but he won't let go even to be with this other chick, which I could care less about, I just want to be left alone. I've even cheated and told him I'd never be faithful to him again, but still he insists the family remain intact. The past has been nothing but drama filled. What can I do or am I wrong?
2006-09-26 20:05:16 · 16 answers · asked by Dani L 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Look, if you want to be free, and you know that announcing your intentions turns into a big drama, just leave without the big announcement. One day when he comes home from work, you are just gone. Note on the table saying: Sorry, I tried to do this the civilised way, but you left me no other choice.
2006-09-26 20:36:33 · answer #1 · answered by Liz 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I don't think divorce will destroy the family,it is beeing destroyed from with in. Your children shouldn't be exposed to the daily termoil and the lack of love between you and him.Seems strange that you recently started living together,why would you want to be with a man that makes it clear that there is someone else? Not to give you too much crap,but,You fooling around probably reinforces him thinking it's ok.
2006-09-27 04:28:37 · answer #2 · answered by want2wild 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You don't need him to admit the relationship is over, and of course it's going to turn into a big deal - divorce/separation IS a big deal. But you don't need his permission or acceptance to do it.
You leave and you see an attorney and start the paperwork and that's it. What he wants isn't the issue - it's not his choice it's YOURS.
2006-09-27 03:16:53 · answer #3 · answered by Avid 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You're both nuts and enjoy all this drama. It's best that you stay together so you can keep this up or you'll just get bored and look for your adrenalin high in another place.
2006-09-27 03:23:32 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
the children i can guaranty are not happy living in a home when there is no love between their parents if he doesn't know that whether they show it or not they can feel it with out anyone telling them whats going on. he's not helping your children he may be hurting them beyond repair by keeping them in an emotionally hostel environment
2006-09-27 03:15:43 · answer #5 · answered by shanadam 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
JUST DO IT.
Kids do better in a broken home than they do in a home that is broken.
You are missing a great deal of happiness. Move on.
2006-09-27 03:18:37 · answer #6 · answered by clcalifornia 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
For a situation as bad as that, it's probably best to burn all of your bridges. That's probably not possible, but that would be the best solution I think.
2006-09-27 03:07:37 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
if you have the finances and can get a place of your own then do it. if you dont have the money get a job and save up. thats the first step. get that over with and go from there. your not doing yourself any good by staying where you are.
2006-09-27 03:42:21 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
it's time you left his sorry butt!!!
it's hard but you have to stand up for yourself. i know a family whose doing the exact same thing and they are the sorriest on the block. they can't let g of each other but not out of love but because they depend on each other. eg he needs someone to make him dinner and take care of him adn she needs his money..
just please be strong and it'll all work out for the best in the lon-run..
All the best to you and your children, take care and BE STRONG!!! ;-)
2006-09-27 03:18:50 · answer #9 · answered by blithe_vow 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There is always drama. He sees you like a posession being taken away. Sorry.
2006-09-27 03:07:58 · answer #10 · answered by teef_au 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋