How can I reestablish trust?

Question

Every person I have ever loved has cheated. lied or decieved me in a major way. Now I have someone who is good to me but I am very untrusting. It is ruining our relationship. Is there a way to trust again?

Answer 1

Live your life truthfully and honestly all the time.

If you lost someones trust you may or may not get that back with time. But if you follow the above advice by living honestly and truthfully you will not loose anothers trust again.

Just remember: Time.

Answer 2

I am in a similar situation. I was raped as a child, had a father walk out on me, and many unsuccessfull relationships. It is hard to pick up and try yet another time. this time could be different. this time could have a happy ending. The first thing you need to do is trust yourself. Trust that if you sense those red flags, the familiar looks, and signs of cheating that you can get out. That you can take your pride and heart before things get out of control. I guess the best thing is that you don't want to be alone for the rest of your life, so what is there to lose? You have encountered SO much already, why will it hurt to give him a chance. Sure you will be more cautious than the last guy, and the one before that... but you'll find a way through. And if he is a keeper,he will work through it with you. Tell him why your guard is up, see how he reacts, thats a good indication. Good luck to you, I hope you can trust him. Everyone deserves to be happy.

Answer 3

Trust is very fragile. I am sorry to hear that many people had taken advantage of your trust on them. This had made you to be skeptical about the new comers in your life. Its not wrong. You are just tryignt o protect yourself from being hurt again. Off course, its a real heartache when people had behaved in a way, to lose our trust. Rebuilding trust is very hard. On the same person. I find it hard. But if you love the person, nothing is impossisble. You're lucky, i can say. Since you have met some one else, why cant you try to be open again? Talk about trust to him..and how it actually affects you. maybe from there, both of your will be able to pick it up??

Answer 4

I know exactly how you feel. Everyone in My past has either Lied, Cheated, or majorly majorly abused or neglected Me. It has taken some time, and some soul searching but trust can be learned once more.

I now have a wonderful husband that understands perfectly about My past and all the abuses and mistrusts that has been put upon Me. He is there for Me every time a flash back happens, and is there for Me when I am having a bad day. He tries his best to understand what I am going through and gives Me time when I need it.

He has shown me through the trust he has given me how to trust. I have watched him. We, the ones that have had trust taken away from us...watch things perhaps more so than others. I watch how he is with Me, I watch what he does, and how he handles things I am going through.

My husband had trust issues too. Its not just the women out there that go through that, but men as well. Through his teaching me how to trust I have taught him, and visa versa.

Trust is a slow process. Not something to be easily over come, but in the end you can over come this demon called trust, and win the battle it has with you. Control it, instead of it controlling you.

Answer 5

First slow down, never enter a relationship to fast. Trust is earned, explain why you are so afraid and ask him to slow down and you must slow down too. Maybe the time just isn't right or your instincts are trying to tell you something.
If you are suspicious maybe its because you are still looking for the wrong type of partner. Some times you have to change your whole idea of what a partner should be. If you are looking for someone like this you probably grew up with this kind of activity and mistakenly perceive as love.

Answer 6

Donot think of these thing , trust people until something appears that makes you looses trust. Do not think of this matter as it is a trifle thing in our runing time, live your life fully with the crowd with their positive and negative characteristics and who knows perhaps you have more negative characteristics than many others..There is an Arabic proverb" The camel does not know that his neck is bent".

Answer 7

Decide you are going to trust him 100% and that you are not going to worry about it. Then let him know that you are going to have a zero tolerance policy for lies and deception and stick to it. If he cheats know that you are ending the relationship immediately.

I found the worst pain is when you are in a relationship and forced to decide how much cheating (mental torture) you are going to deal with. When you decide the amount is zero, life gets alot easier.

Answer 8

That is tough. Been there myself. Basically you don't say anything out of fear and work through it on your own otherwise you'll end up pushing her away. You can tell her what you are going through out of the moment (not when paniced). You can do it, just keep your self talk positive and keep telling yourself that you trust yourself and your choices in women over and over. The past is gone. you don't do that anymore.. no what if's you believe in your choices and make choices in women from now on...

Answer 9

Yes by taking relationship to next level like promise ring to start devotion over again.

Answer 10

You can give him a project or situation and see if he follow through with it. Or tell him a secret that is not major and see if it gets around. Or tell one of your girlfriend that he don't know, hit on him to see if he flirts back.