do I pick up the peices and get my self esteem back?
2006-09-26 18:42:42 · 22 answers · asked by proud mommy and wife 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Congratulations!! YOu need to take it one day at a time.
And you started the first step in regaining your self esteem by getting out of there!! Your going to be OK!!
2006-09-26 18:45:59 · answer #1 · answered by rimples25 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've been in your situation before, I know how difficult this is. This is what I did. After I was finally away from him I went out and bought a couple new sexy outfits, put on the make up, and went out on my own. That's the hardest part. Walking into a place by yourself being available for the first time in years. Your knees will be wobbly, and you'll be trembling but you have to hold your head high, walk in and ACT like you're confident. The best way I found to gain confidence is to pretend confidence. After a while it just becomes habit and you'll do it naturally. Once you start making your self act confident, you'll begin to feel confident. I know it sounds silly but it really does work. Give it a try.
2006-09-27 11:47:57 · answer #2 · answered by andi b 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is a saying my dear that goes something like "If u want others to love you, you must love yourself". I would change 'love' to 'respect'. Get hold of yourself, and make a fresh start. Take each day as it comes and live life to the full. If u are working get some qualifications that will help u improve yoyur career graph. BUT at the same time do not shut the emotional door. Time is a great healer BUT LOVE is a better healer. And PLEASE do not brood - u have got away from an abusive husband - GOD Bless u.
2006-09-27 01:58:28 · answer #3 · answered by majorcavalry 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try and Live each day at a time rather than looking further down the Road than you can see!
Not ALL men will Treat you this Way!
Do not Fall back in with Men for a while!-As the chances are you will land another Neglectful,Abusive Type!
Take some time out for Yourself!
2006-09-27 01:46:46 · answer #4 · answered by J. Charles 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hi Jenni. I truly feel for you. It will take time. But if he was abusive and neglectful, you are better off without him. Call a friend. Go to a movie, or eat, or dancing. Meet new people. Don't let a bad marriage ending be a bad thing. Let it be a hopeful new beginning. The best of luck to you, and God Bless!
2006-09-27 01:46:59 · answer #5 · answered by There can only be one - (ANSWER) 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't worry about your future.. worry about the present. Be strong and learn to be independent. Guys is not the answer for every question. I know that in god's perfect time you will meet the right person for you. You can be complete w/o man on your side... Just lift up everything to God, i know he will take good care of you. Right now all you got to do is to think what are the possible thing that can make you happy not just to your self but also to your profession. Indeed, you can have this if you believe in yourself and if you got a great determination and mostly FAITH in God...
2006-09-27 01:59:27 · answer #6 · answered by minnie 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think the first thing you can do is make sure you wake up everyday and fix yourself up. Don't wallow in depression. Set goals for yourself and put it up on a mirror and everyday work towards accomplishing these things. It can be small or big things. Try to find out who you are. Alot of times while in relationships we lose ourselves along the way. You might want to try counseling too. I was once in a controlling relationship and he was emotionally abusive. I found once I left that in some ways he did rub off on me and I had a hard time expressing myself without being hurtful. But at the same time it was just another learning experience and these things will be easier to recognize in your next relationship. Good luck you can do it.
2006-09-27 02:12:04 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
In my opinion the first step would be to take some time and square yourself with the end of that relationship, it takes more time than you think. Due to having been in an abusive relationship, hopefully you will be able to spot the signs of another quickly and remove yourself from that situation. Please remember that not all men are abusive, most want to treat women like the princesses they are, if given the chance. As a final note, if you have children, do not place any man above them in your life. Your children are yours for life, and men may come and go.
2006-09-27 01:49:00 · answer #8 · answered by tkj3395 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My dear, my heart goes out to you, and it brings back the day of my first marriage ending. Know this, that you are independant of your spouse, you survived before they came into your life, and you will survive again, The first thing I found was I was not alone, I was surrounded by God, his "angels" here on the earth who looked alot like neighbors and friends, yes it hurt, I never felt pain like a divorce, I never cried so deeply, but on the other side of that dark curtain was a new life, complete with new lessons I had learned from a hard marriage, new ability to love others and new empathy for friends like you in a situation I never would have brought upon myself by choice which gave me lessons that grew me in ways I never would remove from my life if I was able to. You have a choice now, the choice is to be angry and resentful or to be gracious. Hard? HELL YES. But if you stand up from this day forward and if you CHOOSE to not let someone else pull you down, rise up and you will find who you are, be the caring forgiving yet WISE person you know you are and as you do you will find that the esteem is ritght there inside. What is esteem other the an ESTIMATION of our own self worth, and who was he to have known your worth? he was not a professional appraiser, so stop listening to all those recorded tapes in your mind of him telling you what he thought you to be, and start listening to thse recorded messages in there of all the loving people who gave you a real appraisal, who saw the divne in you and who saw your amazing heart. God Bless you, you will be in our hearts and our prayers.
2006-09-27 01:54:38 · answer #9 · answered by TriDad 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just take one day at a time. You'll get through this and you'll end up stronger and more independant than you were before. Practice being independent. Set some small goals and work towards them, then when you reach those set bigger goals.
Marriages don't end on a single day - it takes a lot longer than that. It sounds like you've finally reached closure, and maybe thats a good thing. Now *you* get to decide how you spend your future!
Good luck!
2006-09-27 01:50:24 · answer #10 · answered by David C 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had the same problem and cried all the time when I left my 1st husband,not because I was sad but because i didnt know how I was going to take care of myself and kids,I ended up in a home for abused woman,went to school and than to college and got me a job and slowly started to build my life with my kids which was the best thing that ever happened to me.
2006-09-27 02:09:30 · answer #11 · answered by alwayssmiling 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋