Alright, so here's the thing. My husband is away training in the Army. We have a 7 month old daughter that I have been taking care of by myself for five months of her life! I have not had a day to myself or even more than an hour since she was born.
I have had to stay with my parents for a while now. They don't seem to care that I am exhausted and trying to get my daughter to sleep. They make a bunch of noise and act like I'm crazy for asking them to quiet down for ten minutes!
Since she has become more mobile I find myself being so worn out all the time! Between all the feeding and baths and playtime and diaper changes, I also take her for at least an hour long walk every day. That is the only thing I get to do for myself so I enjoy it also.
I only have another month or so before my husband will be home. But what can I do to make it?! I feel like I'm at the end of my rope and family doesn't care! The only one that cares is my dear husband but I never let him know how tired I am.
2006-09-26 17:58:33 · 10 answers · asked by .*AnNa*. 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Newborn & Baby
I am looking for an apartment at the moment... but we just don't have enough money saved up for the deposit and such. I want to have one by the time he gets back so I'm trying to find a way to make it work! I don't even care that we won't have furniture for a while! More room for our daughter to crawl around I guess!
2006-09-26 18:06:30 · update #1
Do you attend church anywhere? If so it is possible that your pastor may know of some of the ladies in the church who would watch your child for you for an hour or two. Secondly I would have a sit down with your parrents and explain to them your situation, if they don't seem to care after that then I would think about moving out, and getting a different place, possibly on base where your husband will be stationed. Thirdly, as the others suggested, nap when the baby is napping, and baby proof your house (if possible) which will relieve a lot of stress. Also sometimes you might just need to let her cry, and not give in to her every whim. That's a hard thing to do, but sometimes it's necessary
I remember when both of my daughters were that age, it is a tough time, and all I can tell you is to hang in there because it is worth it in the long run.
2006-09-26 18:05:13 · answer #1 · answered by AirborneSaint 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Take a deep breath and try to relax. Go to a movie and let someone watch the baby for you. Just a couple of hours will do you a lot of good(and you will be sitting down!).Surely your mom would watch her that long or maybe a friend. You have to put her to bed and get your own rest. IF she is not sleeping all night you need to get her trained before your husband comes home and for your sanity!Turn on some lullabye music for her, to drown out your family's noise. Lay her down, tell her goodnight, and that you love her. Leave her there unless she is sick or has asthma or another illness. She will get used to it if you do not pick her up or give in in any way! It is for the good of her,you, and your marriage to make her stay in her bed all night. If she wakes up at 6 am or so then it is ok to let her up or put her in a playpen to play while you get up and get breakfast.But make her stay there all night. It is not mean or being neglectful. It is one of the first things you will teach her about what is expected from her. Like picking up her room and doing homework! It is necessary to be strict and get it done. She will be an adult some day and you are raising her to be a successful one. Try to rest while she takes a nap during the day. Do your laundry and chores when she is awake. Take care of yourself and you may need vitamins. Having the baby could have been a bit much for your body and you just need to get a vitamin to build yourself up some.With the full night's rest and a rest during the day and vitamins you will be much better soon and will be feeling more emotionally stable also. Your mom and family are just allowing you to be the parent of your own child. That is what they expect of you to do. Sit down and talk to your mom or grandma, or a friend about how you feel tired and ask them what to do. Mothers love to tell you how they got through it and how to help. It will also help you and your mom bond some. Best wishes and I am here if you need to talk to me!!
2006-09-27 01:21:06 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I feel sorry for you that your family isn't more supportive of and what you're going through. Do you have any friends or other family that will take the baby for a few hours or even overnight so you can go have some "mommy" time? If not family or friends try to find a daycare you can trust to leave for a few hours and just go do something fun or relaxing (like get a massage) to unwind. It's great that your husband will be coming home soon. Hope things get better for you.
2006-09-27 01:07:31 · answer #3 · answered by Andrea H 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I really understand.
Dear friend it seems life has been tough for you. I've gone through all these when my child is younger, she's now 20 months old and is currently under child care.
Like they have mentioned, you should take naps whenever she's asleep. Try to eat as healthily as possible to give you the strength to look after your child, and drink more water.
I used to look after my child from Mon to Sun, without any rest and assistance, at times my husband would help me when he was around. Even this, most of the time I did not have time to eat, my daughter was such a fussy baby that she cried most of the time. I could not understand what she wanted, it was really terrible. I thought I would just die from being worn out.
I used to live with my in laws, but they did not spare me from hell. I don't blame them for not helping me, instead they kept picking up faults with me EVERYDAY. My mother in law would make up stories like I mistreated their family dog and so on. I felt really depressed as most of my friends were working then. I did not tell them my problems. They wouldn't have time to help take care of my daughter anyway.
I'm not working during these times, and I felt helpless.
My life has improved tremendously since I moved out with my family. Now I'm working as a property agent. Do drop me a mail if you need somebody to be there, or you need to find an apt, email me at agnes.era@gmail.com
2006-09-27 03:29:09 · answer #4 · answered by Agnes 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Could you ask a friend to come over for an hour or even hire a babysitter for a couple hours. Just so you can have a rest. You wouldn't even have to leave the house, but just go into the bedroom and lye down. I personally find that if I lye down it makes me worse. I have to keep going. When I've tried to take a quick nap, it's more like a tease and I get up very grumpy.
2006-09-27 02:06:52 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This could be more than just you being tired. After having my son, I wanted to sleep CONSTANTLY. I felt like I wasnt resting enough at night, trying to keep the ear open for the baby, and then the daily noise didnt help. My advise is go see a doctor. Sometimes with post pardum, you can get a slight chemical emballance, which has a fast cure. The doctor will get your metabolism back on track. It worked for me!!
2006-09-27 01:21:06 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You really need your own place.
In the mean time, nap when the baby naps. Find a sitter if your parents won't offer.
Or make excuses, some female trouble you'll need several Doctor's visits for so they will sit the baby and you can go to starbucks, have a latte and read in peace an quiet.
2006-09-27 01:03:14 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Napping when the baby naps is really important.
If you're interested, you could also go online and buy a yoga nidra CD. Yoga nidra is a guided visualization practice that is deeply restful: 30 minutes of yoga nidra is the equivalent of 2 hours of sleep. You can use headphones to listen to the CD in your bedroom, so you won't be disturbed by the noise (and if you share a room with the baby she won't be disturbed by the CD.)
And let your husband know a little bit about what's going on for you. I bet he would like the opportunity to give you a little bit of support since he can't be with you right now--he probably misses you and the baby like crazy and offering you some encouragement will be good for him as well as for you. Good luck!
2006-09-27 01:16:26 · answer #8 · answered by Yogini108 5 · 0⤊ 3⤋
Focus on trying to make the baby happy and be happy for the baby. She is something beautiful. She is love, your love. Remember that. It will make times seem more precious to you. I cn't believe that your parents don't want to help you. I suspect they don't want to cheat you out of these precious moments. Talk to them. They will probably jump at the opportunity.
2006-09-27 01:14:15 · answer #9 · answered by LORD Z 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I take naps whenever my son is napping. It really helps, even if it's only like 10 minutes.
Other things you could do is eat some fruit, they'll give you more energy than any kind of caffeine would.
2006-09-27 01:03:15 · answer #10 · answered by heather47374 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋