Help me please?

Question

I need serious answers please. How can I make myself not annoying? Most people at my school don't like me, and I need to know how to make myself nicer, less annoying, and more popular. Even my best friend admitted to me that she thinks I'm annoying! Recently, we were walking home, and I asked this boy a somewhat rude and annoying question, and she said to me "You're not very nice...". I even hate myself. How can I remind myself to stop being so mean, weird , and annoying? I would love to be the kind of person that most people like; the kind of person who people say "Oh, her? She's such a sweetie!" or "She's realy nice, I like her." Or something like that. Please help me I really need this. All I need is to be nice, less annoying, honest, and a little popular. Please give me some real tips. I need serious answers,and serious help. I try to be myself, but people don't seem to like it when I act myself. I try to conform to wut ppl want, but ineed help. Id rather live someone elses life

not my own life. I'd rather be happy than be myself, because everyone hates the way the real me is...

I know I am supposed to think about what I want to at like, but I hang out with a group of a lot of different people. Some of the girls I hang w/ are emo/goth, some are mainstream, and some are preps. I'm not completely sure which of them are real friends, or just aquaintances. I need to know- what actions can I take besides just sorting out what i need to do- I need to know what i can actually do to actually remember to be nice and not annoying. Do I just think about what people would think if i said this, or if i said that? Do i just keep quiet and let people just walk all over me like they already do?I need some serious, good advice and help...

Answer 1

When you have nothing to say, don't talk. Don't talk for no reason, or to fill up space in a conversation, or to bash people. It sounds corny but: If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all. If you must comment on something, try constructive criticism. Hugs, kisses, wish ya best.

Answer 2

It's your age. I promise in a couple of years you will care much less what other people think about the way you are.

That said, we always have room for self-improvement, so if you feel that you are mean to people or rude, then ask yourself before you speak, "Is what I want to say a positive or negative question or comment? How would I feel if someone said this to me?" If it's negative, then don't say it unless it's something very important for you to get out (like if someone is hurting your feelings).

If you get frequent complaints of being annoying, maybe also you just say too much. Sometimes silence is golden. Listen and watch the people around you more than talking for a little while and you'll learn a lot about your friends and classmates that might help you to understand how the things you say could affect them. Always remember to consider other people's feelings as well as your own and you'll be fine.

Answer 3

I would never tell you not to be yourself cause that just wouldn't work, but you can definitely work on your manners if you are being rude. Just stop and think how you would feel if someone said the same thing to you. If it would make you feel bad, don't say it. Try to find positive complimentary things to talk about. Look for the good in people. Don't worry too much about being popular. The people you think are really popular may not have any true close friends. That is more important than being "popular".

Answer 4

I have no idea just how annoying you are or are not, but the annoying people I do know are either a) self absorbed and talk incessantly about themselves. This doesn't sound like you. Or, b) they are uncomfortable with themselves, silence and social setting so try to compensate by filling the air with gibberish; questions and comments that just get under people's skins.

Take a step back and realize it's OK to be weird and off beat but sometimes it may be easier just to be yourself but recognize it's not up to you to half to be the crowd pleaser. Now, those people are really annoying.

Answer 5

you have taken the first step to self improvement..... knowing and accepting the real you is a great start...... good for you ! but i worry about the comment about wanting to live someone elses life...... no you dont..... take who you are and imrpove it, not change all of it !!! sit down and make notes..... put down the things , in order of importance, that you wish to improve upon..... then take one thing at a time and give it all you have..... use a reminder, such as a small smoothe stone in your hand, to remember to *think* before you act, such as asking or saying mean things..... or to smile more, what ever it is you are working on ...... take the time to improve each thing, take at least 2 weeks to work on each individual improvement.... I know you can do it !!!!! I got faith in ya girl !!!!!! God bless

Answer 6

It sounds like you are a young person, and the problem with being young is that you haven't quite been able to see yourself without your own blinders on. You need to see yourself from the point of view of your friends and ask yourself, "How would I act if I really wanted to _______?" Think what they would say about you if you were not in the room. Then ask yourself, what do I have control over to change? If you have control to change things, then do so. However, the things that you can't control need not be brooded over, and just accept them. If the things that you CAN'T change cause your friends to not like you, well, then it's time to find new friends.