been dating for 8 monthes he cheated on me i cheated on him. im controlling and he is an a@@ almost all the time. when i get into a fight with him he turns it around on me, and he is confusing but love him. was struggling with drugs but is better and now he lies a bout stupid things and he doesn't think he treats me bad when he really does.then after we fight he is all loving.he has never hit me but im tired of him hanging up on me and acting like he doesn't care when he gets yelled at by me or gets mad.then he wonders why im always a b###h ??? and i gave up all of my friends to be with him. i am happy 1/2 the time but the other half im sad. ive tried breaking up with him so he will see what he has lost, but can't. I NEED ADVICE!!!!!! and im insecure and depressed which he tries to be there for me, he says he is but sometimes he puts his friends over me. and ignores me when im sitting right next to him. oh, and after we break up he is nice for a day and then BAM back to his ways.
2006-09-26 17:50:54 · 13 answers · asked by bri 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Oh and im in therapy. his excuse for cheating is that he was planning to break up with me but when he kissed her he realized how much he loved me. and technically i never cheated on him. but i did kiss another dude when we first got together,i had to choose in between him and the other guy.i also didnt really know him that well.
2006-09-26 18:03:49 · update #1
you know i kinda have the same thing going on with me my boyfriend like to make things my fault. But he has hit me several times but its hard for me to leave him we have a one month old and I look at her and I can't leave him. I love him. We get along most of the time and were just fine until we fight. He says alot of mean things to me to hurt me but I do it too. I'm just as confused as you are and I feel your pain. I have thought about leaving many of times but i think about my baby and how it will affect her in the future. Maybe I just being crazy to think things are better if I just stay and hope for the better. I'm sorry for not having a real answer to your question but I just wan't to let you know that your not alone. Thanks, Janet
2006-09-26 18:03:37 · answer #1 · answered by janet t 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why would you stay with him when half the time he makes you sad? I think this yo-yo stuff is just too tiring and kinda pointless. When there are many guys out there who aren't so complicated or moody...there's got to be someone more special for you. Why put yourself through this sort of carry-on? Don't lower your standards...relationships should be fun and friendly...not like this. If you both have cheated then maybe neither of you are really serious about your relationship. If you bring each other down....forget it. Don't play silly games ...like ditch him just to make him improve. You said yourself he is an egg most of the time!!! And NEVER give up your friends to be with a guy. Friends are important....especially to us females. I can't see anything good in this relationship.
2006-09-26 18:05:14 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Leave him....it is not a healthy relationship.love shouldn't be as cruel as that...and instead of jumping into another relationship try to relax for a while and really find time to know the new guy before you say yes. What had happened to you now is a learning curve...so learn from your own mistakes...yes you can't choose who you will love but certainly love will sit on where it should belong...so just wait for it. Love begets love....so i guess he's not really meant for you. What you decide now shall be your future, and you can't blame your fate on anyone, your happiness lies on your hand...ok...and don't forget pray harder this time....it works!
2006-09-26 19:24:20 · answer #3 · answered by maic 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you really serious??? Jeez! Sounds like you both need therapy! You cheated , he cheated, your depressed, probably because of him. How old are you? Ask yourself do you really want to go through life this unhappy? If the answer is yes then hey stick around until it gets totally toxic! even physically violent. If it were me, I'd of dropped him like a hot rock. But that's just me.
2006-09-26 17:58:33 · answer #4 · answered by Suzeanna M 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You answered your own question. Look in the mirror and decide to be happy, pack and go. Call your friends and get away from him. Dont call him, dont answer when he calls, make it a clean break and start being happy. Love yourself and then find someone who will love you as much as you love them. Life is too short to stay miserable. You deserve better, ask your friends.
2006-09-26 18:19:13 · answer #5 · answered by James B 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you are letting him control your life without you even realizing it. it has to stop. you can breathe without him, right? so that means you can live without him. he is not making your life any better, infact it seems like he is making it worse. sometimes we want so badly to be with someone. we will try anything hoping they will see that you are the one they truely love. sometimes they never see anything and you stay hoping for something that will never happen. u need to be happy. i say move on. learn how to make urself happy. ofcourse it will be hard for the first you months but i guarantee you will find happiness. make sure you learn how to make urself happy first. that's the most important thing. if u need to talk about this a little more to help u get through this just email me. i don't mind helping. sometimes u need someone to talk to.
2006-09-26 18:00:00 · answer #6 · answered by SoConfused 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey, you deserve to be happy in your life. For all of the time, not just half of it.
There are things about this guy that you really love, there are things that you probably just lust over, but there are things that are just not right.
Give up the things you love and lust for over this guy, and give yourself permission to be happy. You've got all the time in the world.
You don't need a man to be fulfilled. But if you want to have a man, he better be the one who doesn't bring you pain.
This relationship sounds toxic. It's hard to cut them out, but better in the long run.
And like I said, you deserve better. Believe in that.
2006-09-26 17:59:25 · answer #7 · answered by Lisa G 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Leave him!! You gave up your friends to be with him. Why would you do that? Friends are assets not liabilities. He is only going to get worse. You said he hasn't hit you yet, but he will, it's only a matter of time. I had a friend go through the same thing and finally he did start abusing her. I stayed friends with her even though there were times we lost contact, but at least she is finally free of him and I hope that you can see the downward spiral that you're in. Please call one of your friends and talk to them. If they are truly your friend they will help.
2006-09-26 18:00:30 · answer #8 · answered by Alessa 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its time to end it, theres too many bad things going on. I had this similar situation and I told him to leave and he smartened up. Sometimes guys change sometimes not. I think you may want to think about seriously ending it and moving on. You should be happy all the time not half, even with problems you should still be happy and if you're not then its time to go.
2006-09-26 18:01:53 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
OK STUPID YOU ANSWERED ALL YOUR OWN QUESTIONS....... so leave already.......question for you....why do women need to go through feelings and emotions and not just simple plain facts????? he's a jerk your a stupid woman for being with him so now that you made me say it leave already...... oh and if you pissed at me for writing this just remember I'm not the one with him..........
2006-09-26 18:01:12 · answer #10 · answered by 4stringthndr 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋