Earlier today, I asked for advice on a problem I'm having in my relationship with my partner.
I first posted the question in a general Relationships section, which seemed to target heterosexuals. I received very thoughtful, helpful advice from all replies.
I later discovered the LGBT section, and posted the same exact question. Again, I received some very helpful, sincere, and comforting responses. But I also received one very disturbing, scathing response from a hateful gay man. Instead of answering my question, he went out of his way to make up all kinds of false accusations about me, when he knows nothing about me.
I also received a semi-sarcastic reply from a guy saying my family didn't teach me to be forgiving. He knew nothing about my life, or my upbringing.
This is not the first time I have witnessed how hateful and catty gay men can be to each other. I see it all the time. That is why most of my friends are straight.
Why is there so much hate in our own community?
2006-09-26 17:49:09 · 10 answers · asked by Kevin 3 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
Just to be extremely clear, I'm not saying all gay menare hateful. I'm just saying that I've noticed many gay men seem to go out of their way to be hurtful and crude in comparison to straight people.
But there are definitely some really sweet gay men out there, no doubt about it!
2006-09-26 18:19:31 · update #1
They have been treated so harshly in life by others that they learn how to use that sort of behavior as a way of dealing with people themselves. I've found that those who act the way you have described generally don't have partners or have lost them and are now single.
2006-09-26 17:57:58 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 2⤋
Because this is an open forum you will always get inconsiderate people who are just on here to cause trouble...and don't think it is confined to gay men, I have seen some hateful replies to heterosexual questions. Sometimes it's easier for people to be glib than to provide a well thought through answer. My advice would be to disregard this person's prejudiced views. As you say, his accusations were false and unfounded, so he is obviously ignorant, and his opinions likewise, so you should treat them as such and forget about them.
As for the 'gay bitchiness'. I would say it's more to do with social conformity and identity (the same with campness). When you feel isolated from some part of society, weather due to colour, sexuality, or economic reasons, you search for somewhere to belong - an identity, a way of behaving. Unfortunately for some sections of gay society, this display of identification is what we see as "the bitchy gay man", and when you socialise enough with a certain group you unconsciously pick up on a way of behaving, or a manner of speech, to fit into that social niche, and so the cycle continues.
Sad, but true.
2006-09-26 21:01:31 · answer #2 · answered by Mike P 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
have you ever seen the tutor desperate Housewives? Neither have I, i've got lost a long thank you to many IQ factors as that is, however the element of the tutor is that those women individuals are wealthy and are catty and their subculture emphasizes cruelty, hatred and manipulation. Sound customary? the element I"m attempting to make is that a majority of those sub-cultures of the better inhabitants have their sturdy factors and their undesirable, their Jekyll and Hyde.
2016-10-18 01:24:48 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why are some [straight men, Christians, Muslims, Americans, non-Americans, etc.] so hateful? There're always some rotten apples in the basket. As long as you don't generalize the whole community, than that's fine.
You've said that you've received quite a few helpful and comforting answers... Focus on that.
2006-09-26 17:56:33 · answer #4 · answered by Guppy Fish 2 · 3⤊ 2⤋
I don't get it, either. Some people are mean in every group.
I'm glad you had a good experience in General Relationships. I haven't; I shy away from it now.
2006-09-26 17:52:48 · answer #5 · answered by GreenEyedLilo 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
If the answer came from here then I highly doubt that the guy was actually gay. We get a lot of idiots.
2006-09-26 17:57:56 · answer #6 · answered by closetcoon_fan 5 · 3⤊ 2⤋
Every group has its segment of self loathers...my advice is to avoid individuals like that.
2006-09-26 19:32:48 · answer #7 · answered by daryavaush 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Dunno Kevin...but you're right...I've always maintained that there are a lot of people on this site who don't like themselves very much...also they have complete anonymity...I can't apologize for some other azshole here..but you do know we are not all like that.
2006-09-26 17:55:03 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋
There are bad apples in every bunch.
2006-09-26 17:50:48 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 2⤋
Hello it's not gay men, it's men in general wake up and smell, well you know what
2006-09-26 17:51:34 · answer #10 · answered by IM THE GAY GOD ALL FEAR ME 5 · 2⤊ 6⤋