how do make relationship w/ grown children better?

Answer 1

Give them money.

Answer 2

First you have to figure out why it is strained in the first place.

I'm going to take a guess from life experience and observation of others. I am willing to bet your adult children feel as if you still try to control their life. And probably feel as if you judge them harshly and criticize rather than offer help. Or maybe your help comes with too many strings attached.

Am I close?

First of all ignore the guy that said don't give advice. As an adult daughter I would think my mother didn't care any more if she quit giving me advice. However, keep in mind advice is easier swallowed if it comes across more as a concern than you telling them what to do. You might say "I'm worried for you because..." or something like that. But, once you have expressed your concerns leave it alone.

Second... try not to be judgmental. If your adult child is going through some hard times, maybe not making decisions that you think are right, and so on... your judgment is the last thing they need. It will only put a wedge between you and the adult child.

My family was good at judging; always telling me what I was doing wrong, or what they thought I was doing wrong. Never once did anyone ask how they might be able to help.

It's like kicking someone who is already down.

Anyway, just taking a guess... would really need to know why your relationship is strained in the first place in order to suggest how to fix it.

Answer 3

1. Start by telling them that they have changed since being a child. (This is one acknowledgment most parents overlook and the child yearns to hear)

2. Don't pull "rank"...now that they are adults get to know them as adults...their likes and dislikes.

Conversation is good!

People change all the time...there use to be a time when you couldn't pay me to eat zucchini but now I love it! If you knew me as a child you'd no I did not like it but only by knowing me as an adult would you know that now I enjoy eating it.

I realize it's hard to let go of your children but its ok. Once you do, I think you'll gain a friend. You will never loose your identity....your still mom/dad!

Answer 4

Let them know you are interested in what they do by listening and responding. By responding you are letting them know that you are paying attention and they will feel as if you care. Make sure you keep this going so u can build a great foundation for a stronger relationship with your children.

Answer 5

accept your grown children as adults, so advice given with out being asked is a no no. it is not easy to transfer from parent in charge to parent that has to become a friend at times, and then as a parent with advice....but practice makes perfect....

Answer 6

relations with grown children?///well.simple either they are disrepecting the home orother probs of not in control,have a family night,where you all talk with each other,give them responsibilities chores,etc.now if won,t abide make it stricter or givr choices,abiding by the house rules.be more active with them.

Answer 7

Remember they are adults. Show interest in them, love them, but don't try toll them what to do unless they ask. ( unless of course they are on drugs or doing something dangerous).

Answer 8

Treat them as your friends. Share your views about their problems in a silent way without any expectation of surely heard.and share house hold problems with them and ask their views. If their views are diffrent show the reason why your view is perfect.

Answer 9

Be what kids want and need. A #1 fan.

Don't give advice. Say great to everything they say and do (as long as you don't pay the consequences) tell them they are wonderful, good at everything, smart and talented.

Answer 10

you can make it better with love and support and staying out of their business

Answer 11

you should never have to try to be your kids ''friend'' if there is enough love in your family they will know that you are their friend.