Do i deserve a baby because of when i was a kid?

Question

When i was a kid. I know under 10, my mom babysat these 2 kids and there was a baby or a little older but under 5 if not a baby ( i can't remember clearly) and i think he was sleeping. Well, i got on top and don't know if i humped. Then when i was still young. I don't know how young maybe 8-11, I put my breasts in my cousins face when she was sleeping and she was really young too. but thats all i did and with the kid i got on top of, i am like 98% sure i had clothes on but see, it makes me feel like a bad person because i would never do this now well obviously but knowing i did it now makes me feel HORRIBLE! i obsess over it and people even tell me it's normal when you're young but you hear all these people talk about rape and i can't tell myself enough it wasn't rape. Then my mom said if i go to a councellor, they will have to tell the parents of the kid even though i was a kid myself. and i was like thanks alot, now it will make it seem like i am a bad person when i was a kid! I wish there was other people who did this exact thing and tell me how they deal with it and know they arn't a bad person. Sometimes people wonder what happened to me when i was younger because of certain things and what if people wonder or the kid wonders what happened to him. I mean i am pretty sure i had clothes on but i was a kid too but knowing they would have to tell the parents makes me feel 100x worse. I feel like i shouldn't be living!! or be able to be happy.

Answer 1

HOW OLD R U NOW? MY ANSWER WOULD BE IF YOU DONT HAVE ANY "FEELINGS" LIKE THAT TOWARDS CHILDREN THEN IT WAS JUST A STAGE BUT IF YOU STILL HAVE FEELINGS LIKE THAT FOR CHILDREN YOU REALLY NEED TO GET HELP SORRY IF I SOUND RUDE OR INCONSIDERATE BUT SOMETIMES TRUTH HURTS IF YOU TAKE IT THAT WAY

Answer 2

Well if you don't say the kid's name, or that your mom was baby sitting it, how would a counselor know who to contact? Is this kid an adult now? Or still a child? Do you see this kid? Either way it's okay. You were a kid and kids are curious. We're born sexual creatures. There's nothing wrong with you. Now if you continued to do these kinds of things you'd be a deviant who would need help. From the sounds of it, you're abusing yourself enough about it. There was no real rape involved. You didn't force these kids to perfom sexual acts. You know now that doing that kind of thing isn't considered appropriate so I'm sure you'll be a fine parent.

You might try looking up support groups for getting over guilt, or sitting in on a molestation survivors group so you can understand that what you did doesn't hold a candle to what real molestation and rape is. Try talking to a church pastor, they have the same laws surrounding them as a counselor, they can't tell anyone what you say. Either way, you really need help getting over your guilt. Do the kids even remember what happened? Try apologizing to your cousin if she remembers, that might make you feel a 1000 times better. Good luck.

Answer 3

Alot of people do things when they are young that they wouldnt do now, I have done things that im not so happy about and wish i could take back but the best thing to do is to know that this is common, my best friends daughter was 6 and her cousin was 7 my friend said she walked in on them a couple of times doing exactly the same thing as you said you did as a kid. Children explorer it is not uncommon. Especcially if you were only 5. My cousin would do some crazy things to me when we were younger we are both adults now and he actually appologized to me for his behavior and the way i feel about it is its in the past. He was just a kid. I dont feel you should punish yourself for what you did. It really wasnt that bad. I could see if you were 12 and he was 5 but it sounds to me like you were both children of the same age. Im sure you would make an excellent mother. dont let anyone tell you otherwise. God Bless

Answer 4

Children are innocent,please remember that.It is very normal for even a child to explore their sexuality.You should not be ashamed or feel any less of a person.Maybe you should talk to a counselour and no they will not make you tell the parents of the other child unless you are putting yourself or that person in danger.Therapy might help you see that your sexuality is normal.Sweetie that is not rape. It sounds like anything to do with sex was maybe discouraged or looked down upon by people who were around you.Adults don't realize children hear and take in everything they are exposed to and that will affect you throughout your life.You have been emotionally damaged from this so you really should talk with some one for your own well being.You shouldnt feel like you don't deserve your own children.You feel so deeply hurt by this that you feel and think you may possibly endanger your child, or you are not worthy of having children.You should talk with someone.

Answer 5

You do deserve a child!!! Every kid experiments, the line is only crossed when you remember doing WAY WORSE things deliberately. It is normal, like being the weird little kid who humps their stuffed animal in public. It is society that teaches us all that sexual urges at any age is dirty & wrong & should be punished. Even my 2 year old daughter does sexually odd things, & she has not been molested or abused in any way. Most kids don't remember doing these things or were "implanted shame" by parents or babysitters, but it is about finding out who you are & there is nothing dirty or wrong about that, it is 100% psychologically okay. Now if you were a 15 year old boy & sexually penetrated a 2 year old, then ur a sicko!! (If u know anyone like this, tell me, I'll kill em...)
Love Jenni-

Answer 6

Yes you still deserve a baby. You are completely normal. You were a kid and didn't know what you were doing. Small children experiment with things like this and it's nothing to be ashamed of.

As for getting counseling, I don't think they will tell the other kid's parents because it wasn't really anything illegal because you were still a child. And I believe that a counselor would agree with that.

Answer 7

Kids do really stupid ****. Let it go K its not who you are just stupid kid stuff. Its called experimenting don't worry about it let it go. I did a couple of things that embarrasses the hell out of myself but it proves to me that kids do get weird feelings but apparently have know clue as to what the heck there doing. Its normal. You were a kid. I am all grown up now am not a weirdo in any way shape or form. And I am a kick *** mom too. As you will be. Just forget about it and live your life its over in the past move on. Be happy its not like you harmed them so don't feel bad you were just a dumb kid. Take care of yourself

Answer 8

I don't know how old you are now. I do know if you go to counseling that what is said is completely confidential unless they are subpoenaed in court. Not to alarm you but sometimes when children do this they themselves have been victims of abuse. If you are truly bothered by this and you are afraid of contacting a counselor face to face I would look in the front of your local phone book, the numbers are toll free, and find a number to call for counseling over the phone. Some counseling centers have crisis lines you can call anonymously for help.

Answer 9

SH *T. You need to move on. I mean move the heck on. Do you not see how short and important life is? You can do nothing to change the past, only your future. You need to live today and do the right things for the future. Live, make a difference. Be a GREAT parent. Realize you do know right from wrong now, you are an adult. Choose to do right. Work hard. Be the person you can be.

Answer 10

Honestly, the only advice I can offer you is this:

Get over it.

It really doesnt even sound like that big of a deal, but something in your mind just wont let it go. You're really making it into something way bigger than it really is. Kids do silly things, there's no reason for something silly to haunt you for your whole life. Just forget about it and move on, there's no reason to even give any attention to the matter.

Answer 11

You have to understand that you were a child when this happened. Of course you are going to feel a little skeptical, but as long as nothing has ever progressed about it since then, i wouldn't worry. You were at the pubescent stage that is awkward enough as it is. If it will make you feel a little better, talk to a psychiatrist about it. They will help you to better understand why it happened and why you shouldn't worry about it. I'm sure everything will be fine.