I know that guys like different types of women, but I'd like to ask how you think of this guy. We met about 6 months ago, and he gives me the impression that he's ONLY into hot women and that intelligent women tend to scare him. He's not good-looking himself and really isn't that intelligent or confident about himself. To sum up in one word, he's not the type of guy that easily attracts woman. But then when he looks women, he pays all his attention to their pysical apperance. He's a middle-aged man, and yet seems to me that his mentality isn't as mature. I wonder why he's like this. Care to share with me your opinions on this? Thanks a lot for sharing.
2006-09-26 16:13:57 · 16 answers · asked by patience s 1 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
Look, men and women are attracted by different things.
A man is primarily visually stimulated and aroused. Yes, it's immature, yes it's primal, yes it's not that far removed from the animal level, but it is what it is.
Women are more cerebral when selecting a man, but, unfortunately are easily taken in by good looking men who can tell a good lie in a convincing way. Hey, I didn't say you'd like it, I wish it weren't so, but if you're going to say I'm wrong, you're simply not willing to admit the facts.
I'm thoroughly convinced that women get the husband they deserve, and men get the wives they deserve.
Women crave love. If anybody out there doesn't know this, they've been living in a cave. Every woman tells her man this in a hundred ways daily.
The problem is, women assume men crave love too. They don't.
Men crave respect like they crave oxygen.
Too often women give their men love hoping it will be reciprocated. They think it will get his motor started to give her the love she needs. It doesn't.
Male ego is the OPPOSITE of love. Young men are generally guilty of this. Their self confidence is shakey at best, and they substitute male ego in its place. Women make the fatal mistake of trying to beat down his male ego through insults, put downs, back-handed comments, nagging etc. They're hoping that if they can make the selfish male ego subside, perhaps he will begin to show her the self-less love she needs.
The result is an even poorer level of self-confidence, and an increase in male ego to substitute for the further damage in self confidence and the spiral is self-perpetuating.
A smart woman will combat male ego by becoming her man's mirror. If you reflect to him the negative aspects of his nature, you'll get more ego and less self-confidence. If you reflect back to him accurately what he's good at and what you see in him that he doesn't even see himself, his confidence will grow, his ego will be displaced, and his appreciation for you will grow and with it the love you need.
This is called showing him respect. This is what he craves.
If you do this, you'll get the man you deserve. If you don't, you'll get the man you deserve.
So, it's now up to you to decide what kind of man you deserve.
Behind every successful man is a successful woman.
2006-09-26 16:35:15 · answer #1 · answered by s2scrm 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think this guy has problems with his identity and ego. Some men, like the one you have described, like to attach themselves to attractive (or hot) women in order to elevate their own self esteem, status and ego. This "hot" woman, and what she represents (at least in his own mind), defines this man's mental image of himself that he then projects on to others - he's a stud - or in some way superior. He can't accept himself as he really is, possibly has an inferiority complex if his need to feel superior is so great, and probably doesn't like himself very much. Therefore, he probably doesn't accept other people for who they really are or like other people very much - he is too superficial. He is a middle-aged man now, but probably has always been emotionally immature and that's why he is the way he is. I think it's sad and feel sorry for him.
2006-09-26 16:40:50 · answer #2 · answered by Scottie 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
most men are all like that in my opinion, and honestly speaking i know many will resent me for saying this but i can't blame them...i mean women were made beautiful, if men aren't going to admire that then, who will? but they should look at other things as well that are needed in a lasting relationship.anyhow back to the factor of some men liking intelligent women well, i'm sure that they must have some beauty in them as well....words aren't only things that can attract one to another. In my opinion all women have some type of beauty which will always be picked up by the opposite sex, yes there are some who dont' use it accordingly and the men who go after them are either not in touch with reality and the fact that beauty doesn't last for too long, or they just want to play around in their youth and think about the future when it comes and slaps them in the face. there is a small sense of immaturity in a man like that. but again, theres nothing wrong with admiring a woman for her beauty.
2006-09-26 16:25:30 · answer #3 · answered by ONTHERISE 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Sounds like the guy I am living with and am planning to escape. I feel his behavior is a tactic to cover up his low self-esteem. He is afraid of intelligent women because they wouldn't have him! Good luck - you will find someone who spends more time looking at you than he does other women's' body parts in your presence (men are men after all).
2006-09-26 16:17:58 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
He wasn't taught manners or respect. The details can be cured, but the real problem is indication that the project is an entire waste of time.
By the way....lighten up.... most everybody can be hot and intelligent at the same time!
Peace out Sister!
2006-09-26 16:17:24 · answer #5 · answered by rideitmark 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is unattractive and he has low self confidence so looks for hot women to reassure himself that he is good looking. He is not very intelligent so he only looks for women dumber then himself so that he can feel superior.
2006-09-26 16:23:57 · answer #6 · answered by vampire_kitti 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
ever see the movie shallow hal? think that but just the part where his friend breaks the spell. Turns into a total jackass right? Well if all of a sudden you got ugly, then thats whats gonna happen
2006-09-26 16:17:04 · answer #7 · answered by Becca 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Mostly just another player with lines of BS that don't fool smarter women. Does he keep a rope and a shovel in his car too?
2006-09-26 17:12:21 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's a jerk, plain and simple. He doesn't like smart women and all he notices are their bodies. To top it off, he's no prize in the looks dept. himself. Why are you even asking about someone so undesirable? Ignore him.
2006-09-26 16:24:03 · answer #9 · answered by amoss311 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he's just trying to act all big when he says stuff like that. That's very common for guys to do that type of thing to fit in.....
2006-09-26 16:16:24 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋