Should I stay or let him go?

Question

Sometimes I don’t know what to think Im so overwhelmed with emotions. How does he feel how do I really feel. Why is he here? Sometimes I feel like we can over come any obstacle some days I feel like just giving up. So here’s the 411. Together for 6 years and counting. He says I make him miserable but he loves me too much to leave me. I say you may be there for me emotionally but your not there for me financially. And a mortgage and 2 car payments are too much to handle for just one person. He’s going to school and working part-time. I know I have been hard on him but he said ok you need to start treating me like I’m your world or else I’m gone. We have a 3 year old together, infidelity has never been an issue / so does everybody go through this is so hard… Someone please help…. I do love and don’t picture myself with anyone else but Im to prideful to give my all what should I do ???

Answer 1

If you're too prideful in giving your all, what's the point in being in a relationship? Every relationship has its ups and downs. It's how the both of u bear up under those hard times that's worth the measure of your commitment to each other. I know you're the one shouldering almost everything right now, but u said he's going to school and working part time. I say give him a chance. Don't keep kicking him when he's already down. The main thing is to keep the lines of communication open at all times.

Answer 2

It sounds as if you have a firm foundation but money problems are causing a rift. So many people have trouble in this area.
If he is going to school and you can see light at the end of the tunnel in that direction, then it will be worth the wait and hardship to get through it. It sounds as if some financial sacrifices are necessary to get through the difficult times.
Is it possible to get through the financial strain by selling the house and moving into something more affordabe until he is out of school and you are on a more even keel financially? Sell the cars and buy more modest used ones to get rid of the car payments? That alone will probably take a lot of the strain off.
You are probably carping at him because you are feeling insecure, and security for a woman in a relationship is extremely important. I believe when you feel secure enough about being able to make it yourself with the limited amount of money he is able to contribute right now, it will make you feel better and give him some peace. As soon as you have some of the pressure taken off financially, I believe it will be much easier to have a better view of him. It sounds like he is trying to better himself to give his family a firmer foundation, although I am sure it is hard to see that during the storm. Take the longer view of it and make the necessary adjustments financially until you are both better able to afford it.
Good luck and best wishes

Answer 3

To him:
Get your head out of your behind you dolt.
You are going to school and working part-time. Yes, you are trying to make a better future, but you are forgetting the present.
You have a very close relationship with a wonderful woman. You and her have a child together. You have been with her for 6 years.
You say she makes you miserable, but you love her too much to leave.
Bull crap!
If you love her, tell her that.
If she makes you miserable tell her that, but not both.
Look in to your childs and woman's eyes and see the love they both have for you.
Do you see the misery they give you?.
I think you will only see the love for you.
She is struggling with trying to make the ends meet.
You should be a little more supportive and helpful.
If you think she makes you miserable, think how miserable you would be without them in your life. You need her as much as she needs you. Treat each other with love not with ultimatums.

For you:
Pride goeth before the fall.
You and him should give equally to the relationship. Communication is important for you both.
The two of you have been communicating the wrong things to each other.
He communicates that he is over burdened by studies and work.
You communicate the financial hardship that you both should be sharing. You both should try to share love,understanding.
A relationship is sharing, not having to give up yourself entirely.

Bottom line:
Stop the ultimatums and placing everything on your shoulders.
Start sharing and communicating your love and understanding for each other.

Answer 4

pride goeth before the fall..... ever hear that saying.... well, it is a true statement..... pride should NEVER enter the relationship..... a true partnership is just that...... 100% each..... not less not more...... i dont understand how you can make him miserable and yet he says he loves you to much to leave... sorry, my brain just does NOT comprehend this notion or way of thinking.... if he is going to school and you are the main bread winner, try scaling down on the expenses.... sell the top dollar car and buy a cheaper used one.... go for economy..... and i am sure there are other ways to trim the budget..... you may not know this, or you might, money is the number 1 cause of divorce..... so sit down together and work out a budget that both of you can live with...... God bless

Answer 5

The first thing I think you should do is ask your self where you are being hard on him at. Then you need to ask your self all the things that are making you want to stay and don't want him to leave. Take those things that you feel make you want to stay and hm to stay and think about them every time you find yourself being hard on him unnecessary. Also look at what he is doing wrong be resin able about it don't come up with stuff that is pity and childish. Then address those things with him, let him know how important it is that you and him make it for your child to have both parents in the home, alot of time men get caught up in the booty they see on TV they forget what they have at home, as far as money is concern, money comes and material things go, but love can really last forever if both of you try and stop pointing the finger.

Answer 6

hard dission to make im in the same spot as you but i will not leave i love him too much if he isnt happy then he can go. 6 yrs also with my husband,only mine is ther financially and not emotionally AT ALL.we have an 11 yr old son that he adopted when we got married. He pays all the bills but doesnt want me to work> he is even jealous of me spending time with my friends or children. if you realy love him all you can do is try your very best and good luck i will pray for you

Answer 7

Hey my best advice is try marriage counseling. But staying together because of your little girl is not the right reason. Do you love him for the right reasons? Does he love you? And does he love you for the right reasons? Maybe you yourself should get into some counseling just for you. Sometimes talking to someone helps. But most of all do what you feel is right, listen to your heart. It's always helped me when I've had a hard time deciding what to do. Good Luck and let me know how things turn out!

Answer 8

Financial issues sure can put a strain on a relationship. Once he finishes school and can help out with money issues maybe some of the pressure will be off. If not, it will be time to move on if you still aren't happy.

Answer 9

reality check! chill out girl. take some time for yourself away from him to really find out what it is you want. 6yrs is long enough to know the real thing and if he cant appreciate what you've done(which is handled yo business) for the two of you and he haven't said "I Do" to you,girl you already know your answer. Listen to your gutt. It's not talkin for nothing.You listen when it tells you "I'm Hungry", then listen if it keeps bringing you back to the same conclusion. remember what you put up with now,sure ain't gonna change down the road. you need to step out of your comfort zone. if you read what you wrote, you will realize what he's really saying is he's miserable(not with you)but with himself for having to depend on you to keep the ball rollin. your world is that baby,he is grown.plus if he threatens to leave b/c you express that you need a lil help on the finances, well you know the saying "Don't let the doorknob ..." on the way out. "good Luck" , but you already know your answer. And remember,you and your baby are his world.

Answer 10

Well you guys should definitely think of getting counseling. It's not healthy that you are financially responsible for everything and on top of that he tells you that you make him miserable ( that was insensitive of him).

If he loves you as he say he does then it should be easy for him to want to make you happy and keep his family together.

Your daughter deserves to see her father as a strong male role model who can be responsible and not one that makes her mother unhappy and do all the work.