My friends right now are kinda being jerks well just one. He was my good friend and now I don't know. He is always insutling me, he is always making fun of me or trying to hurt me, he ditches me and convinces other people I'm stupid. the only problem is he didn't start actinging like this since his brother died. and the night before his brother died I dragged him out of his house to watch a movie he didn't want to see could this be my fault? what should I do withg him stop hanging out with him?
2006-09-26 15:48:48 · 12 answers · asked by alec b 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
give him some time and space he is hurting over loosing his brother, so he is acting out with the closing thing that he loves because he may be afraid of loosing out on you to. so the way not to do so is push you away.
the reason i say this is because i lost my brother, then my mother, then another brother afterward. and i got in this rut that everyone that i love i was loosing them so the only way i knew how to handle it was to push away people that i love so that i would not loose them to death. when my first brother died, my oldest sister an i got into an argument the night of the funeral over something stupid (the correct pronunciation of my nephew's name whom i named which was her child and we both know his name because she game me the honor of naming him) that was the first time in my life that i had ever argued with my sister, and it hurt and i knew she was hurting also because we both suffered a lost of a love one.
have a talk with your friend let him know that you love him, and assure him that he is not loosing you, but you feel that he needs some personal time to himself to cry, get angry, mad, laugh whatever he needs to do to go through the phase he is going through now.
worst thing to do is tell a person that you understand, when you have not experience what we have and that is the lost of a love one. so do not tell him that i know it made me angry and upset when someone told me, that is the stupidest remark someone can make. let him know that you can not imagine how he is feeling but you are not his punching bag either, tell him you are there for him but he will still treat you with respect.
NO! do not blame yourself what is destine to happen will happen. we can not change the world. let your friend know that he is hurting you also because you love him as a friend and more, and his treatment towards you hurts and that when he feels that he can deal with you after dealing with the lost that he has experience give you a call
2006-09-26 16:11:31 · answer #1 · answered by PHAT 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Stay distance from him. He is grieving right now. Only time will tell if you will remain friends. Don't pressure him. I don't think it was your fault to have him see a movie he didn't like. I'm sure you didn't force him to see it. Besides if he knew his brother was going to pass away that soon then he should have made his own decision about seeing the movie. Let him be. If he is a true friend he will come around on his own when he is ready! In the mean time stay away from him so he can mourn for his brother and so he won't put you down.
2006-09-26 16:01:26 · answer #2 · answered by Humming Bird 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Alec,
Talk to him if the friendship is worth it.... just ask him why is being suck a dick head since his brother died. Your not there for him to abuse or put down. See what his response is .....You may get a straight answer ...you may not!
If not ...the friend isn't mature enough to realize the change that he has under gone .... it's not your job to fix it either. Just leave him be and hang out with other people.
If any one asks .. be polite and say "He's gone though some changes and I don't care for the new guy"
Perhaps he will tell you of his hurt and pain for the loss ...but doubtful .....Dude....hope for the best ... prepare for the worst ...and Good Luck !
2006-09-26 15:59:05 · answer #3 · answered by John 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he's upset and is trying to find someone to blame. of coarse he would try to blame you because he thinks you took valuable time that he could have spent with his brother by forcing him to watch a movie supposively in his mind. Tell him you're sorry his brother died, and if you did anythingw rong to hurt him you are very very sincerly sorry and there isn;t really anything anyone can do to make the pain go away.
2006-09-26 15:53:39 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's blaming you and he might not even realize it with the way he's acting out at you. Even if he stayed at home that night the outcome with his brother would have been the same (unfortunately)
It's time for you to do a disappearing act and back off. He needs to go through this grief and perhaps seek some support group help in order to get through it.
It's not your fault and if you keep hanging out with him in this current situation, it's not going to get any better.
2006-09-26 15:54:53 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He needs friends now more than ever but he needs real help besides! If he treats you like this I would just leave him alone for a while and see if he wants my friendship later! Remember he is hurting and those who hang out with him will feel the effects of his hurt!
2006-09-26 15:53:06 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think that you should maybe invite him over to your house, and sit down and have a nice, thorough talk with him. he sounds like he is just emotionally wounded in some way (his brother's death contributing to it), and instead of just not being friends with him, try to heal the friendship. Maybe if you do that, he might tell you what he's upset about, and you two can become friends again.
I wish you the best of luck in regaining ur friend!
2006-09-26 15:56:50 · answer #7 · answered by Alyssy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that you need to give him some space, stop hanging aroung him for awhile. It's not your fault but maybe he is just having a hard time dealing with it.
2006-09-26 15:51:36 · answer #8 · answered by ♥dream_angel♥ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
what did his brother die of, was it sudden, if it was suffering for a long time , why does he blame you???? I think there needs to be more information about the circumstances to give you a good objective answer.
2006-09-26 15:53:13 · answer #9 · answered by magpie 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give him some time to get over his loss. He might be blaming himself for not being there or even projecting some blame on you.
2006-09-26 15:52:13 · answer #10 · answered by mss04 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋