men and women please help!!?

Question

my man, that i'm suspose to be marrying is going out every morning, and he says that it's with a friend that i can not know, and that i can't know where lives, he goes out every morning during the week after work, and he don't even call his kids, if i ask him who it is he says it's none of my business, we've been getting into it for a month now, he don't act like his self, i try to find proff if he's cheating, but don't know what all to look for, do you think that he's cheating, and if so, what is some good ways to tell if he is.......please help me, i don't want to be a babysitter, and stay with a man that don't love me, plus he says that it's a place that he can go to get away from me, and all his problems, and no one can find him, he works night shift, so i don't know if he's there all the time, he used to get off at six but now its five thirty, and he didn't tell me that, it was his bose, do you think he's cheating or not? please help me.and what's some good ways to tell!!!!!!!!

Answer 1

I think that you need more time to decide if you should really marry this man. You have too many questions about him. I think it might be a good idea to live somewhere else, let him take care of his own children for awhile, and get on with living your own life. If your marriage is meant to be, it will happen. But having you take care of his children seems to be a priority for your boyfriend. What is in your best interest? I think if your boyfriend truly loves you, he will be honest and show up when he should, to show you and the children that he is present in the relationship. If you have questions about his motivation or his honesty, you need more time (away from him) to decide what it is that YOU want/need. It's not easy to walk away in situations like these, but it is in your best interest to put some distance between the two of you. The alternative would be to seek counseling whereby you BOTH attend the sessions together. Good luck - and keep your chin up.

Answer 2

First of all, I don't believe in hiding things from your partner. Two people in a relationship should be, in my estimation, up front and honest. The way your fiance is acting does not sound good to me...he says he is going out with a friend that you cannot know. Then he says he is going out to get away from you. That doesn't sound good at all. I would tell him, if he wants to get away from you, then leave. Or you tell him you are going to leave and do just that. Find somewhere else you can go and don't allow any kind of contact with him. Don't put up with that kind of abuse. Maybe you feel dependent upon him and that you can't be without him but look at what you are going through. Being without him sounds better than putting up with him.
Don't be concerned about his cheating, whatever he is doing isn't right and I wouldn't tolerate it any more. Just be firm and put your foot down. Enough is enough.

Answer 3

OK, I needed to read the first two sentences and that was all it took. He is supposed to marry you and yet you cannot know who he is visiting? Doesn't matter if he's cheating or not. If he doesn't trust you enough to even tell you who he's meeting, you do not need to marry the man. I am not the type to say "give up hope" honestly, but I see no hope to give up here. Don't waste your time trying to figure out how to tell. It doesn't matter what he's doing. Protect yourself and demand respect or you will never get it. If he can't fix this, you need to get out before you REALLY get hurt. Good Luck.

Answer 4

Well it's lucky you haven't married him yet. The two of you don't have to share every little thought, but going somewhere every day after work and refusing to tell you where he goes, is just plain rude. Yes, I think he's cheating and you need to leave him. Your kids will be happier and you will find someone who is willing to share his life with you and your children.

Answer 5

I would definently take into consideration that somethin is goin on! You need to ask yourself if he's really worth puttin yourself and your children through all the head aches and heart aches! Ain't no man worth all the pain! You've gotta live for yourself and your children not him! Now a days it's a womens world and you can make it out there without him!

Answer 6

I can't say if he is cheating or not, but it is your business. Him having a friend that you CAN'T know, seems to be a very bad sign. If you can't work this out, don't get married to him, there are plenty of guys out there that will treat you much better than this.

Answer 7

my initial response was to write and tell you to hire a private detective for one day, but then i thought, naaaaaaaaaah. . . .why should you waste your precious cash on a jerk who will not embrace open and honest communication with you? putting it simply: tell him you cannot and will not marry a man who you have trust issues with and the only way to resolve them is by OPEN DIALOGUE. if he is not willing to do that, your relationship would have been doomed unless you turn the other way everytime you suspect he is up to no good. come on, girl, you are worth waaaaaaaaay more than that. click the dust of those sexy prada heels and MOVE ON, sista!

Answer 8

ITS OBVIOUS HE MIGHT BE CHEATING...SO WHY ARE YOU STAYING HOME AND WAITING TO FIND OUT? WHY DO U WANT PROOF HOW MUCH MORE DO U NEED? ITS ALL THERE..HAT U NEED TO DO IS DO THE SAME GO OUT AND IF HE ASK WHERE U GO TELL HIM ITS NONE OF HIS BUISNESS AND THAT ITS SOME PLACE U CAN SPEND TIME ALONE AND AWAY FROM HIM AND ALL YOUR PROBLEMS ..REVERSE PSYCOLOGY IS WHAT U HAVE TO USE

Answer 9

I wouldn't worry so much about cheating as opposed to drug or alcohol abuse.

Hire a detective, a private investigator if you really suspect "foul play" in the relationship.

Answer 10

He is not telling you the truth about his where abouts... so he lies.. That's the bottom line.... Do you want to be married to a liar? Only you can answer this.... Good luck!