My ex and I dated for 4 years off and on. The trouble started when we moved 1,000 miles away for a job that he took. Shortly after the move he started taking on the phone for hours with this girl that he used to work with coming home late from work. He broke it off with me about 3 months after our move to persue a relationship with her. I decided to stay in town and go day by day. A few months later he later begged me to take him back since his relationship was not working and I did hoping things would be different. Well about a year later he decided to break up again. I decided to move back home because I was tired of having an on and off relationship. I found a new job and a place to live and have gotten settled in. Now 6 months later he has been asking me to move back and is promising marriage. I still love him and I have been wanting to get married to him for years. He has broken promises to me in the past. Help me decide if I should take him back and move again.
2006-09-26 15:34:49 · 19 answers · asked by L 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Four years and how many times has he broken your heart? I know it sounds harsh but the truth is he doesn't deserve you. Explain to him that his track record sucks, then go out and get you someone who is willing to put as much as you do into a relationship. Good Luck.
2006-09-26 15:41:03 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Giving him another chance will be to your advantage for it shows that understanding and loving virtues in you. He should see that move from that perspective. If you really love him, do what your heart dictates. You'll never know, he may really change for the better because perhaps, he already has realized how wrong he was in breaking off with you every time he has another woman in mind who proved to be all worthless for him at the end.
Even if you get married with that man, if he becomes infidell again, and you are 100% sure that he is really unfaithful to you, you may get a divorce and move on with your life without him.
But at least, you have given him the chance to show that he really will change for his love for you. Wouldn't it be very unfair for the man you truly love to be deprived of that chance? What if you didn't give him a chance but he really would be true to his promise? You would have just lost a seemingly happy marriage with a better man.
But when you take him back, have a heart-to-heart talk with him regarding your relationship. Tell him that you are sick and tired of his breaking his promises and tell him that should he break again his promise to be faithful to you, you don't know anymore if you can take him back again that time. All the best.
2006-09-26 22:54:44 · answer #2 · answered by Ruzzo 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this is a tough one. you did not mention your age, which i feel is crucial in what responses this will provoke. if you guys were very young, then i would give it another shot because maybe he felt he had to sow more oats before settling down. i don't like the fact that he called you after the other relationship did not work. did it not work because he wanted to be with you the whole time or because she dumped him? does he want you back because you have been the first-runner up in his life and when he gets out of other relationships you are the first person he thinks of? or has he learned and grown from the past 4 years without you? answer these questions honestly and i think you will have your decision.
2006-09-26 22:39:59 · answer #3 · answered by evonne i 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do the words "floor mat" mean anything to you? I let my do almost the same things and each time it took that much more trust and love out of the relationship. Now only her feelings are what maters to her because i have conditioned her not to take anything i say to seriously yet alone to make good on any promises she makes at the time. She cared enough until she found another reason not to. Dump him and let the healing begin. You probably deserve better and it is out there for you to find.
2006-09-26 23:39:57 · answer #4 · answered by gullible 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't take him back. You took him back the first time after he was cheating on you with another girl and their relationship didn't work out. You took him back a second time after he was with someone else. It sounds like he only wants you when he doesn't have someone else on the line. You deserve better than that. He is probably only promising to marry you so you will go back to him, so he can leave you again and find someone else. Don't give him the chance, he's had enough chances with you it's time for him to hit the road and for you to find someone better than that. I'm sure your feelings for him will go away after awhile. Start looking out for your self, he doesn't care about you, he wants his cake and eat too! Tell him to take a hike! Find someone who wants to be with you and only you! Good Luck!
2006-09-27 00:33:16 · answer #5 · answered by ajsad36 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You asked for my opinion, and I am going to give it....but I don't think you'll like it. Don't take him back. He has done this to you before, and he will do it again. How do I know? Because I have had a similar situation with a man who was old enough to know better than to play these cruel, heartless games (he is 56, I am 49).
Do you know the definition of insanity? Doing the same thing over and over again, and expecting different results.
Please, for your own well-being, don't fall into this trap again. You will get over him....I got over my love.
2006-09-26 22:44:28 · answer #6 · answered by littleflower_57 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hell no!!!!! my friend went through this 7 times, her guy always promising to be different and the last time she went back was because he promised marriage after being with him off and on for 7 years, and she had a daughter with her and this was moving form illinos to las vegas and back and forth. obviously he never married her. and why would you want to be with a guy who dumped you for someone else????? NEVER be second best!!!!
2006-09-27 00:43:04 · answer #7 · answered by sweet serinity 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
NO dont take him back. NEVER GO BACK FOR SECONDS!!!!
If he treated you like crap and left you in the past he will do it agian.He just dont want to be alone. You are better off without him. Get own with your life and find a new love.
2006-09-26 22:46:21 · answer #8 · answered by sassylyn 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hmmm, let's see, should you spend your life with a known liar and cheat who uses you whenever he's between what he considers the real women in his life?
I guess only you can decide if you deserve better than that.
2006-09-26 22:49:43 · answer #9 · answered by tjnstlouismo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should take him back only if you enjoy the pain and suffering that he causes you. Seeing that you allow him to treat you like a welcome mat, that is what he will look at you as. It is no longer his fault for mistreating you since you KNOW what he is about. It is now all on you for showing him that you are willing to take what ever crumbs he tosses your way...your call.
2006-09-26 23:13:39 · answer #10 · answered by TRT 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋