Marital separation?

Question

My wife of 6 1/2 years told me about 4 months ago she wanted a separation because she did not have feelings for me anymore, wanted her freedom and said that our marriage had gotten too "routine".
We have a 5 1/2 year old son
She had a brief affair with a married man about a year and a half ago . But that apparently has been over for some time.
Since she told me about this separation she wanted - - I have heard that she is involved with another man.
I checked her cellphone msgs and found out in fact that she has been communicating with a new guy . I confronted her about this - she claimed the guy was just a "friend".
Now she tells me that she has basically written off men because of all the hurt they have caused her and wants to be in the company of women .
All this has stressed me out greatly. I am no saint but I never cheated on her, never abused her in any way. - tried 2 b a good husband/father . During a separation - should either spouse get involved with a 3rd party?

Answer 1

Wow... you're a slow learner. How much more of her crap are you gonna take? Grow a back bone and kick her to the curb. She's not worth the pain and suffering she is putting you through. There's lots of fish in the sea and you'll find the right person who will truly make you happy.

Answer 2

Wow, I am so sorry to hear this.. I have been in a similar situation. I can tell you that the problem cannot be solved by trying to go back to the beginning, it has to start from the end and work back to where the problem is. It cannot be done over night. Suggest marriage counseling. It might and it might not work out. That is life. It is not about you not being a good husband or a father, it is about her, and what she feels she is missing out on. But she has to know that it takes two, and you do too.. and this 3rd party might be a woman,, not just a man from the sound of what you are saying. Make sure before you get all wound up.. again, ask her to go to counseling if you want this marriage to work.
And if it is a legal separation, there are no holds barred but if not, then no, it is not right to get involved with anyone else. And tell her that you want to keep your son if she has to leave. That it is not fair to rob you of both her and your son.
I wish the best for you and will remember you in my prayers.

Answer 3

I know if you love your wife, this is ripping your heart out. You can't stand to see or even think of her "with" anyone else. You can see a dead end future ....and the future you thought you had is not there. You don't know where to turn and feel lost.

Does that about sum it up? Well, I know. You will not be able to trust your wife unless she gets some counceling and you two get back on track. I hope it's not too late for her...sound like she's already making a plan.

Act quick if you want your marriage to work....and no ....do not involve a 3rd party ....not during a separation. You will be cheating if you do. You are still married during a separation. Refrain yourself and you will be the better person.

Instead, try counceling and try to make it work. Find out what she lacks in a relationship...why she is unsatisfied and try to fulfill her needs. (And don't forget about yourslef) K.

Answer 4

Why are you checking out her cell phone messeges?? H-E-L-L-O, not a good thing to do.
If you two are now separated, then yes if you want to get involved with a third party, then go for it. It would be a good idea to let the third party know where she stands though so you don't lead her on.
What's good for the gander is good for the goose.
Just because you separated doesn't make you a bad father/husband. People change. Maybe what she says is true, and she just needs time to explore. Allow her to do this, and maybe she'll realize that you aren't worth giving up.

Answer 5

Sometimes, letting go seems like the easiest thing to do. But think about this: you've invested so much of your time and energy into another person; you've made a solemn promise; and you still know there's love, even if it's hiding underneath the surface. This website will show you how to save a marriage and avoid divorce, even if you're the only one trying https://tr.im/VtHvK

Answer 6

This Separation is her way of having her cake and eating too. Unless BOTH want to work on the marriage,just file for Divorce. AS I see it,she is thinking "Well, if this affair doesn't work out, I still have old what's his name." Don't let her use you.

Answer 7

Well, without telling u much about me, I'm NO ANGEL. But here's something to think about. Why would you want to be with someone who is interested in someone else? Can therapy for the both of you help? Go to Yahoo Search- cheating spouse---and see what comes up.

Answer 8

if you are legally separated, then you can basically do anything except get married. i hate to say this, but your separation is the icing on the cake. she has obviously left you emotionally a long time ago. when women detach like this, it usually means it is over. right now your focus should be getting through this divorce and being a good father. your ex-to-be and her insecurities and sexual tendencies should be the last of your concerns. good luck.

Answer 9

You are dealing with a liar and a cheat, and my guess is that she has been lying and cheating on you since before you were married.

Get a lawyer get a divorce and try to get full custody of your child. No child needs to grow up with a mother who puts her sexual needs before anyone and anything else. And that stuff about being with women because men hurt her, is baloney in the worst way.

Answer 10

that was a long story for a simple question-- no i don't think a 3rd party should be involved in a separation-