Mr.Wiggles
It’s small, chubby, furry, black, and white. A thrill seeker, that jumps from the television, and running a mile a minute circle to circle. That ball of furry fun is my pet dwarf hamster, Mr.Wiggles. He also has a bad chewing problem. Everywhere he goes he nibbles on EVERYTHING! It’s so weird, he chews on stuff like toes, carpet, metal, and the weirdest thing of all is he chews on walls! Yes walls! He chews on his cage at night and it is very loud, but he is usually hungry when he does that. In my opinion everyone should have a dwarf hamster because despite the chewing they really are a lot of fun!
2006-09-26 14:57:20 · 10 answers · asked by Jay O'So Mackin To da Fulest 2 in Education & Reference ➔ Homework Help
it's cute.
doesn't need editing.
but it is a little informal, maybe you should not use apostrophe like "it's" but spell it out.
depends on your assignment though, but usually if you are writing for class, you shouldn't write like to talk (to your friends) but try to write "stiffer," if that makes sense.
2006-09-26 14:59:20 · answer #1 · answered by Nicoletta 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is small, chubby, furry, black and white. A thrill seeker that jumps from atop the television, running a mile a minute, circle to circle. That ball of furry fun is my pet dwarf hamster, Mr.Wiggles. He also has a bad chewing problem. Everywhere he goes he nibbles on EVERYTHING! It’s so weird, he chews on stuff like toes, carpet, metal, and the weirdest thing of all is he chews on walls! Yes, walls! He chews on his cage at night and it is very loud, but he is usually hungry when he does that. In my opinion everyone should have a dwarf hamster because, despite the chewing, they really are a lot of fun!
Very good. Nothing much to change grammatically. I have added and removed a few highly discretionary (personal taste) punctuation marks. But really, it's fine the way it is. I never had a hamster (had a guinea pig once). He was a lot of fun too. He squeaked a lot.
2006-09-26 22:04:08 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Mr.Wiggles
He’s small, chubby, furry, black and white. A thrill seeker that jumps from the television, and runs a mile a minute in a tight circle. That ball of furry fun is my pet dwarf hamster, Mr.Wiggles. He also has a bad chewing problem. Everywhere he goes he nibbles on everything! It’s so weird, he chews on stuff like toes, carpet, metal, and the weirdest of all is that he chews on walls! Yes, walls! He chews on his cage at night and it's very loud, but he's usually hungry when he does that. In my opinion everyone should have a dwarf hamster, because despite the chewing they really are a lot of fun!
try that.
2006-09-26 22:03:27 · answer #3 · answered by Clout 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would change the word "running" to "runs" and would eliminate the word "also" in the chewing problem sentence. Making it say "He has a bad chewing problem" You've done a nice job, and I think you'll do fine.
2006-09-26 22:06:55 · answer #4 · answered by awakeatdawn 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Depends on your age. You could improve it from a creative writing aspect. Some repetition, some unfortunate phrases.
2006-09-26 22:08:43 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It fine spelling plus the grammar is perfect
2006-09-26 22:00:54 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's perfectly fine, as long as you are not in high school or college. If you are, your sentences are a bit choppy.
2006-09-26 22:00:13 · answer #7 · answered by spunk113 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is fine if it is something informal that won't be graded or anything. However, if this is for school... it needs to be edited.
2006-09-26 22:01:39 · answer #8 · answered by jjc92787 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it sounds fine!! Grammar and punctuation look good too.
2006-09-26 22:01:09 · answer #9 · answered by Georgia Girl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not bad. Good use of adjectives
2006-09-26 21:59:33 · answer #10 · answered by aggie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋