Saturday night we went out to celebrate my nieces birthday.I dance and have a good time while he just shoots pool or talks.Well Sunday we were talking about the night before,and he told me that people were not laughing with me they were laughing at me.How would that make you feel?That totally made me look at him a different way.I would expect to hear that from an enemy not the man I have spent the last 16 years of my life with.Am I over-reacting?
2006-09-26 14:55:01 · 43 answers · asked by kr8zy k 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
i told him Thanks a lot and he was like well it's true.He wouldn't even look at me while he was saying it to me.Then he called me psycho because i cried .
2006-09-26 15:23:21 · update #1
Hi. Look, I am no trained counselor, so take my ideas for what they are worth, but it sure seems like you are feeling hurt and very deeply. You can't ignore that. It will only go deeper into your heart and open up mistrust between you and your spouse. You have got to talk with him about it. Let him know that he hurt you. If he acknowledges this and apologizes, it will make you feel much better. If he does not, you will at least have a good gauge of the level of his feeling about you.
2006-09-26 15:01:16 · answer #1 · answered by Isis 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You aren't over reacting if he knew you were doing something that made people think you were silly or laugh at you he should have stood up for you a bit or at least stopped you early on and pulled you aside privately and said something.
It may be untrue and he could be jealous people were laughing at things you said in the right way and you took attention from him or he felt you attracted too much attention. Regardless you need to talk to him and set the record straight and find out. It will drive you nuts otherwise.
Ask him to explain his comment you'll know pretty quick if it is true or just his own insecurity speaking up. Try to take criticism calmly and don't get upset if he does point out some social faux pas you made but do ask him to help you not repeat it if it is true you were laughed at. At least your friends had class enough not to let on or make you feel bad which is so far all he has done about the entire issue.
2006-09-26 15:03:34 · answer #2 · answered by Answerkeeper 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My advice to you would be not to sweat the small stuff and this really is small stuff compared to 16 years of marriage. Pick your battles and make sure it is worth making something out of it first. Know how to approach the situation. You want a solution, not a confrontation.
If you feel you have to talk to him about it, you might start off by tell him that you married him because you wanted to share your life with him, in the good and the bad times, and that his opinion means more to you than anyone elses, and tell him that it hurt you the way he said it, and that you want to know if he was serious or just joking. Then you will know which way to handle it.
If he says he is serious, then don't get mad. Calmly ask him to tell you why he feels like that.. Maybe he heard something. Maybe he was just joking. As I said, don't sweat the small stuff.... I hope it goes well for you. Good luck.
2006-09-26 15:14:43 · answer #3 · answered by texas.okie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What was the laughter about? Were you drunk and being foolish? Was he upset because you were ignoring him?
There is more going on here. You both need to discuss what is
the problem!! If you over reacted, could it be that you can't handle the truth. Does he normally say things to hurt you?
Don't lose a good marriage because of one unkind word, get to the bottom of what ever it is.
2006-09-26 15:08:09 · answer #4 · answered by early bird 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have been with him 16 yrs - is this the first time he's been a prick to you? I doubt it. Men have such a mean way with words sometimes .... The thing I remember is that when he's with his guy friends they are constantly ragging on each other and being competitive and mean spirited. Some of that does find it's way back to his girl... I would just blow it off or talk to him about it, if you feel the need to.
2006-09-26 15:03:32 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, I don't think that you are over reacting! I think that your hubby should have to told you but not that way. It would hurt my feelings too! You shouldn't care what anyone else thinks all that matters is that ya'll are having a great time! And he should be spending more time with your niece instead of shooting pool it was her night not his!
2006-09-26 15:00:07 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
check it out ahorty im not no dr. phil but i'll tell ya what ya man was lookin out for ya, and if you have been with him for 16 years than i would hope that one lil comment would not change the way you look at the man....i dont know you or your man so i cant tell you that he loves you or you love him but it sounds to me that if you were together for 16 years i can only imagine how much bullshit you have already overcome im sure there is some kinda way you can let that **** slide...but dont let homie think its all good...play hard to get for a while lol and then give him some of that good lovin feel me
... abd let me say something to the women that are always blaming the fall oif their self esteem on a man...**** its called self esteem for a reason, if you dont think highly of yourself than no1 else will...grow up with the blaming ****....self esteem, self esteem means you yourself. control your own self esteem...lol people are so funny yo life is to short for stupidity...dont sweat the small **** cause thats all it is small **** feel me be happy prosper yo live life but live it based on your own happiness and maintain your self esteem....i had to let that out
peace
good luck
the import *****
2006-09-26 15:03:59 · answer #7 · answered by DaT ImPorTed NiGGa 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow.... your marriage must be really fragile that a comment like that would erase 16 years of marriage and good times and change the way you look at him?
Either there is more going on or your an idiot. And I don't think you're an idiot. So what is really going on?
Just my thoughts....
2006-09-26 15:17:45 · answer #8 · answered by Tony 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry. What a jerk.
Sounds to me like he's a bundle of insecurity and needs to put you down to feel better about himself.
Laugh it off and don't give him a moments satisfaction.
Next time he says something like that, tell him at least you were out there having a good time. Obviously he's too scared to put himself out there.
2006-09-26 15:15:09 · answer #9 · answered by mrpeabody 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well he is entitled 2 his opinion but he does not have 2 put it out there so rudely or spiteful. I would be pretty damn upset myself if my hubby said that 2 me. whats the deal with that?
wait a few days till you both r in a better mood n try talking 2 him again about it that was wrong with how he said what he said.
good luck n dont be 2 hard on him maybe he was in a bad mood. u know how bitchy men can be sometimes lol. but then again so can we.
2006-09-26 14:59:26 · answer #10 · answered by Lady Geo 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋