I knew something was amiss, call it woman's intuition. I had specifically asked several times if he was engaging in this behavior and was told no, and also that he had never lied about anything. I found the evidence in the recycle bin and he admitted to viewing it and lying about it. I just thought it might help to have a man's opinion on this issue. All opinions, suggestions, comments are welcome.
2006-09-26 14:10:41 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Health ➔ Men's Health
pretty much all 'normal' men will look when they have the chance. doesn't matter how much they love their gf/wife, or how hot their gf/wife is, so don't take it personally
2006-09-26 14:13:28 · answer #1 · answered by Roger 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, don't take it too personally. Some guys get off on that. For many, it's how they learn about women; for a few others it's an obsession. As for the lying: I never really approve of dishonesty, but I think this guy might have been embarrassed to let you know that he was viewing pornography. If his habits disturb you, try prying him away from the computer and giving him a little more attention. Cuddle with him and talk to him! I would much rather cuddle than look at porn, that's for sure. A little sex might help the situation too. Let him know that it bothers you that he would rather pay attention to the porn than pay attention to you and that it makes you feel like he is not pleased with you. But avoid shaming him, because maybe he's trying to learn something. Good luck!
2006-09-26 14:25:20 · answer #2 · answered by anonymous 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
The center problem right here isn't the porn gazing. it really is about the shortcoming of verbal change and the abuse. he's controlling you and also you're allowing him to achieve this. you want the discomfort to end? then you actually ought to get some braveness and comprehend that you'll actually have a extra ideal existence without him. you assert "We looked after through each little thing when I cheated. the only element is that if he does something incorrect he thinks he's contained in the right because I cheated. i will't shop being punished for doing something i will't change." you're perfect, you could not shop being punished for what can not get replaced yet you're incorrect once you assert "We had placed each little thing behind us". obviously he has no longer. you want to make issues clean both you've a clean slate and he stops blaming you or you comprehend that he will use that excuse to browbeat you. It takes 2 to make or wreck a relationship. and commonly it id the abusive significant different who's taking income of an absence of self belief of their significant different. in my view speaking, adult adult males who hit out at women anybody is somewhat insecure and if challenged through yet another guy are frequently cowards. They hit the female because she is bodily weaker.
2016-11-24 21:21:35 · answer #3 · answered by mcnear 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am not a man, but I tell you, some man just need to read it, no matter how often they have sex. For the lying part, I'll bet he did it because he felt caught and was ashamed. If your sex life is fine, than don't blame yourself or him, its just one of those man things.
My friends boyfriend does it all the time and it drives her crazy but he will not stop. And some don't ever look at it. Suggest to him to share it with you and than you can discuss it. You know the old adage if you can't beat them, join them. He might find that even more embarrassing and he'll stop.
2006-09-26 14:17:09 · answer #4 · answered by Mightymo 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'd be more PO'd about the lying than the porn. He's a guy, they are visual creatures...and I personally don't have an issue with porn (although I don't want to be replaced by it).
Talk to him about how you feel, and why he lied. Y'all need to communicate and get this issue out there and dealt with. Trust is something a relationship cannot live without.
2006-09-26 14:14:03 · answer #5 · answered by . 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, you can feel however you want about it. The best thing you can do for him is release him from your vile clutch. If I had a girlfriend like you I would have left a long time ago. He's a freaking man, and men love sex. Get over it, it's only porn! Maybe if you stopped worrying about stupid crap like this, and stopped nagging him all the time he'd be more attracted to you and wouldn't feel the need to lie to you. The poor, miserable, whipped bastard... I pity him.
2006-09-26 14:15:56 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
if u feel deceived, hurt and inadequate, then feel that way
nothing can be done to un-feel it
however, u can change ur mind a bit bout this, most guys are like that, and he lied because he didnt want to hurt u. just like the doctor never tells the patient that he was goin to die in a week
well that's bout it, forgive him plz
2006-09-26 14:35:13 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I went through the same thing and felt like that to but I think its in there nature or something like they cant help it or something .for example in most cases women seem to be more caring ,emotional and sesitive vs. a man having to watch porn.
2006-09-26 14:18:59 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
They are not intimidating, he can toss off in front of these women etc... without fear of retribution. Have you asked him what it is about the porn that turns him on, maybe it is also up to you to find out what turns him on and vice versa, and work through these tough times together.
2006-09-26 14:18:22 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
You should not feel inadequate. This is his problem not yours. I would encourage you to help him get help. Go to www.family.org and search pornography for help.
You do have a right to feel deceived and hurt (HE LIED).
He needs help, pornography is addictive, but he will not want help until he sees that he needs it..
2006-09-26 16:47:21 · answer #10 · answered by dogpreacher@sbcglobal.net 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ALL men look at porn if given a chance.
2006-09-26 14:13:47 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋