how do i stop being gay?

Question

i hate being this way and no one else at my school is, so why should i be? help!

Answer 1

Alan, you are made the way you are for a reason. Society is so narrow minded on how people should or shouldn't be, they are wrong, not you. From what I know, you can't change it. I dated a guy for 6 yrs, he was my 1st love, after not seeing him in many yrs, i found him one day, he is now gay. If you try to hide who you really are, you cannot be truely happy and you are lying to yourself. You deserve to be happy. You just have to remember, when intimacy comes into play, to be responsible. Also, we have a couple of friends who are lesbians, they have cohabitated for over 20 yrs now, they are very happy. Don't let anyone make you feel that you are less of a person, you are brave for going public with this. I wish you all the best.

Answer 2

I can GUARANTEE that you are NOT the only one at your school who is gay. I will bet you that at least 10-15% of the kids in your school also are homosexual, but are afraid to let it be known.

You can't change your sexuality, so don't try to seek a way to "not be gay". Your sexual drive is the strongest natural instince you have as a human animal. (Incidentally, the second strongest instinct you have is to eat... think of a food that you HATE... do you think someone could convince you that you DON'T hate it? Doubtful!)

If you're having trouble coming to terms with your sexuality, you need to talk to someone about it. A trusted friend, parent, school counselor, family doctor... anyone you feel you can trust. Also, I would recommend you read "Queer Kids: The Challenges and Promise for Lesbian, Gay, and Bisexual Youth" (Haworth Press; May 1998) or "In Your Face: Stories from the Lives of Queer Youth" (Haworth Press; April 1999).

Answer 3

I understand how you feel. I thought I'd rather die than be gay from the time I was ten until 18 so I'm pretty sure I can relate. I want you to know that you're not alone.

I've come to learn that being gay is who you are, and definitely not a choice you make. It's very difficult, especially when you're young and people are afraid of the unfamiliar, but you should know that it does get easier. You'll find others who like you for who you are, and not what you are trying to be.

I know this answer kinda sucks, but if you want to e-mail me feel free: [e-mail]

Answer 4

There are supposed ex-gay ministries out there, including Exodus International. It is religious and I have one friend who seems to have succeeded through that program. However, I have more friends who have not changed with such programs. I know the attempted suicide rate is very high for people in such programs, so proceed with caution. I personally don't believe in ex-gay ministries, but you're welcome to make your own choices. Before you choose, I suggest you talk to someone you can trust with your feelings who you know is gay or a gay ally, or at least do some reading on the topic from the "it's okay" point of view. At the very least, check out the book "Am I Blue?" by Marion Dane Bauer. It's anthology of short stories written for young adults and should help you feel not-so-alone and clarify your feelings. It did for me.

Answer 5

u really cant stop being gay, even if u do u will still have feelings. if u r gay than ur gay no turning back really. and u dont wanna be known as a closet case cos thats what ull be. if u gay than be proud. gay means happy and thats exactly what u should be , happy thats ur gay, who cares if ur the only gay at ur skool, u may not know that, some kids still may be in the closet. and u can always met some1 from another school district that is by urs that is gay, be proud to be who u r dont try to change urself it will make u look bad and make u look like a poser. and if u stay being gay and r very open bout it ppl will stop saying **** and more ppl will come out cos they will see how bold u r.

Answer 6

Don't let it beat you down like that. I had the same exact problem all my life. I enlisted in the military and only made it worse. The day that I finally came out to myself and my parents was the best day of my life, the weight of the world was lifted off of my shoulders. You cannot change who you are so I would not even try looking to become "straight". Many people say there are remedies but all they teach you to do is suppress your true feelings, don't do that---bad! I want you to be honest with yourself and then be honest with others. You did not chose your lifestyle and you cannot change it. Email me if you need more advice. I didn't come out until I was 24, I put myself through way more stress than I needed too.

Answer 7

There are a lot of groups that could help you in overcoming your homosexuality. Most of them are church groups. I am gay and I do not encourage someone like you to be one because it requires courage and self acceptance, to mention some. Oh, I doubt that you are the only gay person in school. Institutions such as schools are not the best place to be gay (you know what I mean) but I assure you, you are not alone in there! They are just like you: afraid to be yourself or haven't accepted who they are yet or it could be a lot of reason. But mainly, it's about fear and cowardice. Trust me, I've been there and done that and the experience has made me embrace my gayness all the more and I have become a strong person. But I wish and pray that you will discover who you really are and to finally be happy.

Answer 8

you might think there are no other gay/lesbians at your school, but there are. and they're just as scared as you are. this society still likes to teach that being "different" is wrong, and so many hide who they are for fear of being ostracized. talk to a counselor if you can and/or find a local gay youth group.
you can't "change" who you are....unless you want to lie to yourself and everyone else....and not be happy because of it.

Answer 9

If you are truly gay, I don't think you can stop. Could you talk to a local clergy man? He might be able to help or at least help you find someone who can help you.

Answer 10

You probably will never 'stop being gay'. You have to decide how you want to live. Either way will be difficult...but you have to find a way to live with yourself. (and hopefully learn to like yourself). First, stop beating yourself up. Also, remember: life isn't suppose to be great...just manageable. Find a way to manage it. Good luck man.