So I was having "fantasies" w/ this guy who was 10 years older then me, after my friends told me it was stupid the liking of this guy started going away. one night when I decided that I didn't like him anymore, I couldn't fantasize anymore. So then I thought I was a lesbian. I cryed on and off for days, worrying that I was/am a lesbian, I don't have fantasies or look at girls in a "wrong" way. So it's been 4 weeks and I am still upset in that fact, i've gotten better. I am going to school w/ 6 guys who are older then me, not attractive, or an a relationship. So I can't get into a realtionship. I also want to know how I can tell myself that I am not and not worry anymore about it because I don't think/hope that I am not! PLZ HELP! I am very upset!
2006-09-26 13:55:27 · 21 answers · asked by Becca C 1 in Health ➔ Women's Health
Okay, first of all, just because you are not in a relationship with a man, it does not mean you are a lesbian.Second off all ,even if you did have a fantasy about about a woman, that wouldn't make you one either. Being a lesbian entails a little more than not dating a man or thinking about having sex with a woman. When you picture yourself in a meaningful relationship, who do you see yourself with? when you picture the future, married, or having kids, who do you see by your side, a man or a woman? That will give you a better picture of what your sexual orientation might be.
You quit fantasizing about this guy because you "decided" you didn't like him anymore. You actually didn't decide, you let your friends do that for you. Although, they may have sound advice, I'm a little troubled that you are that open to suggestion, and that perhaps someone has made this "lesbian" suggestion to you at some piont. Im going to guess that you are fairly young, so since you are this vulnerable to suggestion, Im going to suggest that you just be yourself and go with the flow. Things will happen the way they are supposed to, and you should just enjoy being you without all of the hangups. Remember that whoever you happen to be is just fine, as long as you are happy with it. If you are not, then perhaps you should tale a look aound you and get rid of some of the things/people that are bringing you down.
2006-09-26 14:10:57 · answer #1 · answered by musselsfrmtheshell 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well if you are attractive to the opposite sex, and not the same sex and you have never been with the same sex, then YOU ARE NOT A LESBIAN!!!!! A lesbian is a female that wants to be with other females sex, companion ship. Get it. Now I hope you are not IN DENIAL that means YOU CAN HANG AROUND GUYS ALL DAY LONG, BUT YOU ARE FOOLING YOURSELF, If you are trying to hide something. I had a male friend who showed signs of liking males but was in Danial all the long he really was attractive to the same sex. Just take some time and gather your thoughts together, YOU ARE WHAT YOU ARE, AND What you do is ALL ABOUT YOU, Who cares what others think, JUST BE YOU DO YOU focus on you, That way you will be HAPPY w/SELF and you know what? NOTHING ELSE MATTERS. Take Care
2006-09-26 14:06:22 · answer #2 · answered by sweettoni37 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Um...first, you need to calm down a little bit. Being a lesbian isn't that big of a deal, it's just sexual preference.
Second, nobody can tell you if you're a lesbian or not...it's all up to YOU. Do you like guys or girls better?
You should be able to answer this on your own.
2006-09-26 13:59:43 · answer #3 · answered by pinky_the_punkrockgirl 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey don't worry, it seems to me that the reason that you stopped having fantasies about this older guy was because your friends told you it was stupid so then you automatically agreed. My advice to you is next time you like someone you should not involve your friends in your intimacy. I don't think you're a lesbian just that your friends messed up your feelings.
2006-09-26 14:01:27 · answer #4 · answered by CR 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Lol it is so complicated to choose for only 3! have you ever heard of think of Me & You? that's my popular movie EVER! you may heavily evaluate that as between the movies. Ahhh, i like it. yet, out of those... I enjoyed: yet i'm A Cheerleader quite genuine Adventures of two ladies In Love If those partitions could communicate 2 :] All amazinggg. stable luck and enable me be attentive to what you pick for! P.S. Boys do not Cry & Loving Annabelle have been great too.
2016-10-01 09:56:49 · answer #5 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No your just feeling down like we all do after a break up or crush is found wanting. If your not attracted or hooking up with girls you can't be a lesbian. some one who is not attracted to anyone is asexual
2006-09-26 14:01:07 · answer #6 · answered by James H 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In the first place...? If you were, you surely wouldn't waste your time worrying about it...! You WOULD find yourself attracted to girls, too...
By the way, some of those unattractive guys may become attractive if you would take the time to get to know them a little more... Everybody looks better when they smile...
2006-09-26 14:01:43 · answer #7 · answered by KnowhereMan 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If you don't find women attractive then you are not a lesbian. there's a difference between like somone for who they are, and finding them sexually attractive. Just because you don't find a man, or men attractive at one time, doesn't mean you aren't straight. BTW: Don't worry about it. Either way, it is no big deal.
2006-09-26 13:59:13 · answer #8 · answered by dontcallmepickle 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I doubt you're a lesbian. Just go with things, as best you can, and see where they take you.
Trust me, in no time, you'll find somebody who will tickle all those emotions inside you all over again. It's just a matter of running into him.
2006-09-26 13:59:53 · answer #9 · answered by Medicated Harmony 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't listen to your friends. Lesbian means you are attracted to women and not men. You are normal... don't worry. :)
It's okay to fantasize about older men.. just don't act on it if you are under the age of 18.
2006-09-26 13:57:27 · answer #10 · answered by Jennifer M 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋