First of all, I am not judging anybody, I have always just been curious about this... Why do many gay men and lesbian women model themselves after the opposite sex? What I mean is, why do a lot of gay men dress up like girls and act more feminine than straight men? Also, why do a lot of lesbian women carry themselves in a masculine way? And a lot of lesbian women are attracted to these masculine women. To me it defies the logic of being gay. If you're gay, aren't you attracted to the qualities of your own sex? Men are traditionally masculine, so why aren't you attracted to and carry yourself with a masculine attitude? Also, if you're a lesbian, wouldn't it make sense that you'd be attracted to femininity and all the traditional qualities in a woman? This has always confused me. And yes, I know that there are plenty of gay men who are attracted to masculine men and don't carry themselves in a feminine manner and plenty of women who are attracted to feminine women.
2006-09-26 13:51:22 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
The reason I said I know there are gays and lesbians who don't subscribe to those mannerisms is because I already understand that part. I'm not trying to generalize this portion of gay culture as the whole group and buying into a stereotype. I'm basing this on what I see in life. I just want to know why the portion who do this act that way. People say, well they don't all, but the fact remains that many do. There is a reason that this is a stereotype. It doesn't come from nowhere. I just want to understand the rationale behind it. I know asking why people act the way they do is a loaded question, but I would like some honest answers. I'm not trying to offend anyone, it's just that noone has ever been able to provide a straightfoward answer to this specific observation.
2006-09-26 16:50:55 · update #1
I'm sorry so many people are taking your question wrong and bashing on you for stereotyping. I know what you're saying.
In truth though, I'm not entirely sure either. I like what I like, is all. I tend to be more attracted to masculine men, but I myself ten to dress in a way that is generally more "feminine" than straight guys. I guess I like to feel "cute", but am more attracted to the masculine type. I guess it all depends on personal tastes.
2006-09-27 06:52:22 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Go ahead chocolate sundae....you said it best. The answer to this question is all about expression...self expression. How and Why do you dress and act the way you do? You are comfortable with who you are right? IF you act/dress/walk or talk in a manner that is not how society established, would you consider that being "untraditional". I mean what is tradional anyway. I am a as you call it..."a masculine female". But just because I have some of the characteristics that you "were taught that a man suppose to have", does that make me any less of a woman?? I am still a female regardless of the way that I dress as well as some of the characteristics that I may have. Just as with gay men, how they express themselves has nothing to do with the fact that they are still MEN. They are gay because they are attacted to men.
2006-09-26 19:38:43 · answer #2 · answered by cutesoftdom 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I was tomboyish as a little girl all through school, college, and beyond. I walked, talked, and dressed like a guy for 28 years. Some people thought I was a lesbian, but I had zero sexual attraction to girls and dated only boys. (And some of my boyfriends were attracted to the fact I appeared tougher than girly-girls.) Gay or straight, gender identity is not just either XX or XY. Gender identity is still being fleshed out in GLBT Western culture. BTW, acting "masculine," kept me from getting mugged once, I'm pretty sure.
2006-09-26 15:29:59 · answer #3 · answered by lucy_ritter 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It's all about being who you are. Some straight men dress femininely, some straight women dress masculinely. Lesbians are attracted to WOMEN. Gays to MEN. What those people dress like is irrelevant. Clothing, hair, it's all part of self-expression.
2006-09-27 04:15:36 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe you havent seen enuf gay and lesbians to see the broader side.
A LOT of gays love masculine gays and carry themselves the same way also.
Same with lesbians.
I have a lotta gay friends who are more masculine than the straight guys I know. ANd lesbian friends more feminine than the straight females I know.
SO there's no real guarantee about your question.
:-)
2006-09-26 16:21:10 · answer #5 · answered by pinoy_rockstar 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Lesbians don't feel like they have to look like a girlie girl to be who they are. So the dress comfortably and if that means looking tomboyish, then it's what it is. Some guys dress like women to feel more feminine. It's what they want to wear to express themeslves. They don't want to be the macho man that they are expected to be. It's all in personal prefrence. Everyone expresses who they are everyday, gay or straight.
2006-09-26 14:10:49 · answer #6 · answered by sweetpea 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
most LGBT people have struggled to be free to express themselves in every aspect of their life. We have to "come out" to ourselves first since society teaches us to be "straight" from very young, then we "come out" to others. by the time we are willing to "come out " to others we have become comfortable with who we are inside and are learning to be comfortable on the outside. We have learned that we don't have to conform to societies "norms" and so we don't have to conform by how we act or dress or whom we build relationships with.
The stereotypes that you describe are a very small portion of the LGBT community. Those are perpetuated by the media. As you walk threw the mall, for instance, you can't tell who is LGBT and who is not because so few of us actually live those stereotypes. The majority of LGBT community lives, dresses, thinks and behaves just like the straight community. The difference is the gender we are attracted to .... just as a straight man is attracted to a woman's soul, mind and body or a straight woman is attracted to a man's soul, mind and body so is a homosexual man attracted to a man's mind, soul and body and a homosexual woman attracted to a woman's mind, soul and body. But mostly it's about one individual being attracted to another individual.
2006-09-26 17:20:06 · answer #7 · answered by chocolate sundae 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
And your question is fueling the stereoptype even more unfortunately, make a proper study/survey into the proportion of gay/lesbian masculinity versus femininity before asking silly questions like these ones,,,
2006-09-26 23:05:36 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
I think perhaps after the coming out process people are able to express themselves freely so they overdo it a bit.....at least initially.
I have trouble understanding this concept as well... I'm gay because I'm attracted to guys, not guys that act or sometimes dress like girls.
2006-09-26 14:01:36 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think that you are clinging to the sterotypes perputated by the media for the sake of a few cheap laughs. There is a lot of diversity in the gay community which you won't see on TV simple because who would want a gay guy to look like the guy next door, it doesn't sell.
2006-09-26 14:30:21 · answer #10 · answered by God 4 · 4⤊ 1⤋