not just to do things i felt were against my beliefs but other issues. i was there for him as most women are that deal with men in prison. but now that i have moved on i received a letter from him letting me know his mom died and with his still controlling ways and manipulating drama he asks me to send him some stamps and envelopes and paper and i guess it had money on there i dont remember i threw the letter away. this will be the second letter he has written in 2 weeks. now i did respond to the first just to send my condolences. and i am in a relationship now really leaving behind the mistake i made. my question. should i even respond to this letter or leave it be. he seems as if he is trying to manipulate my kindness on how i used to be when i was with him cause he did say send them like you used to .i mean hello he is no longer my responsibility. is he using the fact that he had recent loss and think i will feel sorry and get back into that drama? n should i not write a response?
2006-09-26 13:47:53 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
let me add i did move and didnt give him new address i am in a diff city mail has been forwarded. and he mentioned that. he didnt want to converse with forwarded mail. i say well dont write me i dont have a problem with that. nor did i give him my new number.
2006-09-26 13:53:38 · update #1
talk to the prison warden and let him know that you do not wish to be contacted by him. Now that his mother has passed he is looking for you to send him things as I am sure his mother did for him.. he is trying to manipulate you and you should be well aware of what he can do.. if need be talk to the police as well about getting him to stop sending you letters..
2006-09-26 13:51:45 · answer #1 · answered by bluedanube69 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Girl I know exactly how you feel because I was in the same situation. My ex-husband is serving 15 to life, and for the 6 years I was the greatest prison wife, I was know as the Trooper, cause I was there on the VI every other week like clock-work and whenever he was transferred to a new facility I was there the next visiting day, but then things changed in me and I needed more which lead me to cheat on him and have a child from another man. But that’s another issue.
If the relationship between you and your ex ended bitterly, let just let it go. Send him a condolence card or letter for the lost of his mother and leave it at that. If you and your ex left off as friends or at the least amicable, still send him your condolences but be straight up and tell him how it is and how he made you feel when he was requesting you to do or say things you normally wouldn’t do.
You know as well as I do that it’s not easy feeling alone in a situation like his, we have seen and been through it all being recovering prison wives, but be honest and don’t lie. Should you choose to write to him, let out everything you feel and tell him in your letter that you don’t want to hear from him and tell him why. Also let him know that the return address on the envelope is a fake address and that if he tries to contact you the letters will be returned.
I know you still have a bond with your ex because it bothered you enough to go a board and ask for advice. The only advice I could give you is from my own personal experience with my ex-husband. I ended things badly between us, and regardless of how things ended, he only remembers all the good times we had, from the day we met till now. I thought that after the initial break up that he was trying to manipulate me also by calling and writing to me all the time, and it turned out that all he wanted to do was continue to be friends, because as he stated I was the only true friend he ever had and I was the only person in this universe that he can trust, because we did have a friendship first and I was able to talk to him about everything and anything (except the guy I cheated on him with). My ex understood how I felt because I was able to let it all out. We were able to get past everything and he has become my best-friend again. He has a better understanding about me as a woman and not as a wife. He even gives me advice on how to handle tough situations.
You don’t know what his intentions are, maybe he feels like you’re the only other person he can trust since his mom’s passing.
2006-09-26 22:09:17 · answer #2 · answered by cubangoddess73 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Yes, the same way he manipulated you into the relationship with him in the first place. He is a big time loser, manipulator, control freak. It was very kind and considerate of you to send him your condolences. Period. End of story.
If need be, just do not open his letters. You do not owe him a thing. Best wishes, and keep the faith.
2006-09-26 20:53:35 · answer #3 · answered by Rhonda 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sent a letter to the prison in care of the Warden. Fold up his last letter and envelope and put it in with your letter.
Explain to the Warden that you do not want him to contact you and that you do not want him to know your new address. The Warden will see that you are removed from his contact list. Since his incoming and outgoing mail is monitored, this will taken care of it.
If you answer his letters or take calls from him even with negative comments to him, this will just "feed" him and he will continue.
Good luck in your new relationship and life.
(We had to do this to keep an ex-friend of my son from writing to him from prison. It definitely stopped all correspondence immediately.)
2006-09-26 21:07:24 · answer #4 · answered by moekittykitty 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is poking you trying to get a response from you. If you respond, that proves that some of the strings he put on you to make you his puppet are still attached. If you are done with him, stay done with him. Are you even certain his mother is deceased after all? Inmates have been known to lie about such things in order to get sympathy and money from people that they (the criminal) think have "sucker" or "meal ticket" tattooed on their forehead. Don't participate in the games he is trying to re-initiate with you.
2006-09-26 20:52:53 · answer #5 · answered by xasshaiza_starhand 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have often wonder why women get into relationship with men they can't never physically be with. "this guy is serving life". He can never be a real man to you. Your doing the right thing, don't give him your new address and stop writing his losing but.
2006-09-26 21:01:48 · answer #6 · answered by Ellen J 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes he is trying to wiggle himself back into your life. If he desperately needs envelopes and stamps he can get if from one of his family members.
Don't write back. Write "return to sender"on his unopened mail. Hopefully he'll get the hint.
2006-09-26 21:42:44 · answer #7 · answered by Tony 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Stop all communications with him....anymore letters come just get post office to "Return to sender". As someone else said let your new hubby know whats going on.
Best of luck....and {{{Hugs}}} for moving on with your life *S*
2006-09-26 20:56:44 · answer #8 · answered by oldman 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Dead Man Walking. Ignore the mail. Better yet, move.
2006-09-26 20:50:11 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would talk to the person that I am in the relationship with now
2006-09-26 20:50:35 · answer #10 · answered by 2fine4u 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋