Our son is a lovely 4 month old. An "easy" baby. The thing is my husband stresses over every little thing with the baby, and this makes him want to avoid the baby. He gets into the what-if mindset: what if the baby wakes up in the middle of the night and wont go back to sleep? (My son sleeps 11 hrs a night 99% of the time!) What if he cries when I'm watching him and doesn't stop. etc. The stress keeps dh from sleeping at night & b/c of the stress he finds it a chore to spend time with the baby. And what I don't get is when dh is with the baby, he seems to have a good time.
I've tried to be understanding b/c it is a big adjustment. But it's been 4 months now. And I'm tired of the fights about whose responsibility things are. (It's not as if the baby wasn't wanted. We've been married for 7 years, and we ttc for over 3 yrs.)
I love our son, and I'm turned off by dh's reaction. Help?
2006-09-26 13:10:53 · 10 answers · asked by tish 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Newborn & Baby
It's an aniety problem. The 'what if's' are anxiety.
However in this case they are caused by your husbands intense love of your son.
When you have something so wonderful and precious, you obsess about something happening.
Ok, give him this post and let him think aobut what he has become. Give him time to 'cool it' and if he can't seem to get over the 'what ifs' he needs to seek professional help.
Congrats on the most precious gift on the Earth.
2006-09-26 13:25:38 · answer #1 · answered by helpme1 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Most men need to be "shown" how to be a dad, how to care for such an innocent, dependant child. My husband was a little scared about everything at first, but given time alone with the baby, and watching me with our son, helped him get some tips on what to do. He just needed to know that I had confidence in him, and soon he had confidence in himself. When he's home, he'll feed him his solids and change him, get him when he's awake etc. It only took 7 months, but I think he's finally comfortable with being a dad ! Remind him that even us mom's don't always know what to do, and it's sweet that he cares/worries so much about his son, but that there is always a solution. Talk to him and see what is really bothering him so much, like a response said before, he might have an anxiety disorder since this keeps him awake.
2006-09-26 21:24:17 · answer #2 · answered by Liandrew00 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he is scared to be alone with him and most men are exspeically when the baby is so young my husband was the same way for a while it gets better,Have your husband dh to hold him and feed him special thing's he will come around.Good Luck and congradulations
2006-09-26 21:34:10 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok what if the baby starts to cry and wont go back to sleep.... so u stay up... what if the baby is hungry, so u feed him, what if the baby poops in his diaper, well you change him.... basically answer his questions evertime he has a "what if". what are you going to do, you cant let the baby cry or starve.... you ust have to go with it, understand he may be a little scared but tell him to get over his fears and take it... he has no choice, the baby wont go away!
2006-09-26 21:11:40 · answer #4 · answered by Tina 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should ask your husband to attend parenting classes and try showing him how to handle the situation when the baby cries etc you will have to teach him how to be a dad or send him to school one. Do not give up on your husband i'm sure he is scared because this is his first born. good luck and be patient he will catch on soon i'm sure
2006-09-26 20:19:54 · answer #5 · answered by roy40372 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes if it is his first baby my husband was like that but as the baby gets older it should get better after awhile but it could take some time. Now with the secound one its totally different i think they think they are going to fall apart they cant cry for any length of time so ya as time goes on it will get better
2006-09-26 22:11:31 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Every man reacts differently and he is overracting. He needs to just relax and enjoy the little angel that was sent to you both. Eventually your husband will adjust and things will get better. Try talking to him, maybe he does not realize that he is being that way.. (Good Luck)!!!!
2006-09-26 20:44:37 · answer #7 · answered by Vicky 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if this is your first baby this is a big change for him so try to understand. Let him have some time to himself. Let him know exactly how you feel.
2006-09-26 20:17:22 · answer #8 · answered by shorty 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
accept it now it gets no better i have a 3 year old and my hubby is the same way/it doesnt ever change
2006-09-26 20:14:16 · answer #9 · answered by kleighs mommy 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
let baby and father spend more time togerther
2006-09-26 20:19:10 · answer #10 · answered by Kevin Li 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋