After 15 years apart my husband died last year January. First year I had bad time and now I am sort of getting on with my life. I do go out with my office friends. To health farm cinema, go out for meals or drinks.I do read alot. I do have friends whom I chat on line. But deep in my heart I am lonely, Why do I feel like this? I do have 3 children. They do keep me company. I visit my family and friends. Some friends do not like me talking to their husbands. that makes me feel very bad too. What I must do?
2006-09-26 13:02:06 · 6 answers · asked by shiningstar2808 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Have you ever heard of the grieveing process. I believe there are four steps 1. Denial 2. Anger 3. Sadness 4. Acceptance. Even though your husband died last January, it is still pretty new to you, so you are going to be going through this for a little while. And you know what? Its Okay to feel the way you do. It's OKAY to take your time to grieve. To me it sounds as if you are in step 3, and thats ok. Also do know that the steps dont always go in order.
I lost my dad over three years ago... and it was hard because we were very close. I was told that it is ok to grieve, I still have what is known as "grief spurts" every once in awhile. A grief spurt is something like a smell, or an object or a song that the person you lost had, listened to , did, or wore... and it makes you sad and miss the person and does bring tears.
I know this is going to sound wierd, but I had once gotten an email from a friend of mine about pennies from Heaven. The Story goes every time you find a penny on the ground or lying around, someone in Heaven is thinking of you... and even though it is silly, when I find a penny on the ground I pick it up and I quietly say " I miss you too Dad, love you." and it puts a smile on my face, and makes me feel good that my dad still thinks about me.
Find something that will lift your spirits up. Perhaps dating again...maybe make a male friend who you can turn to. Much sympathy to you, and I hope this helps at least a little.
2006-09-26 13:24:56 · answer #1 · answered by Tequila_Rose 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi my name is Louise and I am an orphan. I grew up as an only child, and my mother was an only child and I had no father around.
Now I find myself completely alone and rejected by many people who don't understand me. It really hurts and sometimes I would get so scared. To survive now days I make my bills my priority (automatic payments, direct credit etc.) Anything to not worry "if I get sick there is no one here to help me........" Also I am trying to stock up on tin food, a lot of it, again if I get sick who am I going to call for help?
I do everything now days to not be excluded from society,, I go to church, I go along with whatever others think (I'm not a walk over though!) I go to Uni and I am trying to be very VERY tolerant of the things I've had to go through and the abuse and the neglect people have given me.
Each day is a struggle. I know each day must be a struggle for you too,,, you are not alone it hurts like hell..... all I can suggest is to try and be tolerant of the hurt and appreciate the miracle of your children every second of every day and focus on paying the bills.
Don't think about how things could be now if he is around because that hurts so much,,, focus on the things you can do and the bills and the wonders of life. I hope you find strength and some day advise me on how to over come the lonely blues!!!!!
2006-09-26 16:06:25 · answer #2 · answered by louise c 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Honey, No one can replace your husband, no one. But, you can build a new life and go on. There are lots of men who are just as lonely and want more out of life than a "Bunk Buddy" You can meet men through friends, ask them! Tell them "You don't want me talking to your husband? then help me find one for myself!" Join a large Church and ask the pastor about the singles group.
Yahoo has a personals site. try it out. What keeps a heart lonely is keeping it closed because the fear of hurt.
2006-09-26 13:26:40 · answer #3 · answered by jadamgrd 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try to find a boy friend, place an ad in newspaper, invite that guy and chat and see if anything will happen for further relations.
2006-09-26 13:07:02 · answer #4 · answered by cctvca 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He was the light of your life. You love him and always will. try to get another boyfriend. You might even want to move by your in laws. It depends on how old you are actually. :) i assume your pretty young.
2006-09-26 13:13:45 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
bc you are missing the man in your life.
2006-09-26 13:09:27 · answer #6 · answered by dark^wishy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋