I have a 13 yoa daughter that says, "She wants to live her life". What am I to do?

Question

She says I do not allow her to do anything. No I do not allow her to do things when she do not behave.

Answer 1

You're the parent, you make the rules. You have her best intrest at heart. My mom wouldn't let me go anywhere, at all, until I graduated high school. Just school, work, home. And I am glad she did that now, I look at all the people I went to school with and how they made huge mistakes in their teen years and it is still affecting them now.

Answer 2

I have one of the same make and model she is at the age were she is into boys and pressing at her cage to try and see how much freedom she can get away with . the thought that she might actually get the things she wants if she complies with some of our requests ,Both domestic and in relation to her behavior is beyond her though . I have tried to tell her that after her chores I will drive her to the mall and she can be with her friends , but No that's not to her satisfaction so I get the attitude child from hell . She yells I yell and then its Dirty looks and sneers all day long .....Sound familiar. I also have a 18 year old and i can tell you that in a few years that loving daughter you had will return and this mind bending puberty fighting bag of female hormones will become your lovely daughter again . Be strong be fair and think back to your child years to determine if your unfair or not .

Answer 3

In this day and time you have to be careful. Allow your child to do some things but be around while she is doing it. I think 13 is a mighty young age to want go out and do things. Most 13 yr old that I've seen are pregnant or sleeping around. Be firm with her and for gods sake, don't be her friend. Parents today need to be parents and stop being your child friends, they have friends at school, they need a parent a home.

Answer 4

I guess I'd want to know what living her life means. Wearing skanky clothes and chasing boys? Or does she have interests and hobbies she'd like to pursue?
I'd sit down with her and tell her to make a list of what "live her life" means exactly. Tell her you're open to the idea and let's have a mature discussion about it. Then I'd get her involved in things. For example, if she wants to be an actress, get her into drama classes. Meanwhile, it things on her list are age-appropriate, make her "pay" for whatever she wants to do with chores and respectful behavior. Assign a cost to her for gettign to "live her life"
I might be temped to show her the monthly bills and ask her if she's prepared to contribute (lol) because this is what "living life" is all about.

Answer 5

Stick to your beliefs and values. Your child will not respect you if you break your own rules. Let her do things that you think are appropriate for a 13 year old girl. Try to get her interested in positive activities. Let her do things she likes when she behaves appropriately. Watch out who she hangs with. Be consistient with your rules, rewards and punishment. Many kids go through this stage. It's just a sign that they are growing older and testing the boundaries.

Answer 6

Hi, I am a mother of 4 girls and 3 boys aging from 7 to 17 yrs. I believe you and your daughter should have an open communication and you should show her that you trust her. I drive my girls where they want to go and pick them up. I also need to know their friends and parents. Keeping an open communication is the key with teenagers. Let her express herself but there is a limit. They know right from wrong. If you taught her well now you have to let her go and see if she applies what you taught her in her own life. Always let her know you are there for her. There are somethings that she may tell you and you might get upset but you have to be strong if you want to keep that line open.

Answer 7

When you find out, let me know, please. My 17-yo son has been saying that since he was 13. He's a handful. He does not respect any authority. He thinks that he should be allowed to do what he pleases without consequence. I've never been able to reach him. As a result, he has spent a lot of time grounded. He'd have a lot more fun if he behaved.

Answer 8

How is this 13 yr. old "not behaving"? Perhaps you are tooo strict with her. Drugs? Hanging around wrong crowds?
You probably need to "keep that conversation door open"......let her know she can talk to you about anything!!
At 13 yrs. of age she is going through a LOT OF CHANGES both with her body and her mind.......it really is a tough/scary world out there in "teen age land". Sounds like she needs someone to talk to/with..........not just someone to lock her up and out!!

Answer 9

well, let her do what she wants do. be aware of the kind of friend circle she has. As parent you already know you want whats good for your daughter. so do exactly that. make sure she is doing whats good and not bad. if shes not doing anything thats morally wrong than let her do it. don't hold her back if you have no reason to. Its only gonna cause problems.

Answer 10

well explain to her that her bad behavial will only cause her to not have her priviages. now if she just wants to run wild with no punishment .then tell her the minute she turns 18 years old and she is working and not living under your roof then she can do what ever turns her on . it worked for me. good luck .