They don't feel the need to impress you or woo you anymore... they slog around in the same clothes as the day before.... they are patronizing and rude when they don't get their own way... and they sulk like little children?? Why oh why, did they not behave that way when you met them, if i'd of known i'd have ran a mile!!! Problem is, i'm supposed to be gettiing married... how do i get him to see this? Tried talking and he just argues or plays tit for tat, everything begins with 'but', or 'because you', or 'i don't know'! What has happened to the man i fell in love with?
2006-09-26 11:54:47 · 26 answers · asked by troublewithacapitaltee 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I know EXACTLY what you mean!
I went through the same thing with my fiance', he felt like he could just get away with the way he was with all the BS you mentioned yours is doing. We had stayed up many of nights, fighting,just to get him to listen. He would cut me off, not let me finish, and blame me on how things were. i dont know how or why they get like this, but if he loves you he will come around and listen to what you have to say, and if you are lucky like I am, he will begin to 'woo' you again!
You just have to find the right words, do what he does and make him understand that you arent even married yet and he is acting like you have been together for 30 years already!
Good Luck!
2006-09-26 12:19:44 · answer #1 · answered by jenn j 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No. A child will not solve your problems. The stress of raising a child will probably make your husband worse. And you'd be bringing a child into a very bad environment. If he mistreats you, then he's going to mistreat the child. "remain stress free" - And the way your going to stay stress free is by having a baby. Really. Are you serious? Having a child is the most stressful thing you can do. Pregnancy. Nine months of torture. Your husband doesn't help now, and he's not going to help when your pregnant. So you'll have to face this alone. Basically, you'll be doing everything while your under a big handy cap. Your emotions will be out of control, which will anger your husband. After having the child, you will be completely exhausted. Maybe your husband will help out for a few days, but that's about it. So your exhausted, but now you have an added responsibility. I have a friend who had a child, and for the first year she was completely sleep deprived. The added stress will make your marriage worse. More fights. If you think a baby is tough, it only gets worse as the child gets older. The stress will build and build till something explodes. Having a child will not solve any of your problems.
2016-03-27 12:03:14 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because you let him. People will only do to you what YOU LET THEM!!
When my ex moved in he conveniently forgot how to work a washing machine, do the dishes, wash the bath out after using it, the list goes on, hence why he is now an EX!!
There's no way I'd marry a guy who wasn't willing to help around the house, patronise me, sulk or behave like a child, because that's exactly what you're marrying A CHILD!!
WAKE UP AND SMELL THE COFFEE SWEETHEART!! He ain't ever gonna change and your life is gonna be a misery and no-one was put on this earth to live a life of misery!!
2006-09-26 12:21:53 · answer #3 · answered by Sweetcakes 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he got lazy, he's the wrong man for you. I now we don't pick who we fall in love with. The process is very complicated. However, love or not some relationships just aren't worth it.
Think and think again about whats important to you in life. If he's lazy now, will he be lazy when you really need to count on him? Probably huh? If it's this bad now.... it's a matter of time before he erases the love you have for him... might as well do it now. It seems he's not interested in fixing the problem like you are.
Time for damage control... move on and find someone that sparks your heart and your mind...
Remember busy people always find time to do more.... The lazy ones are always to busy to do anything...
He's out there for you...now go find him!
2006-09-26 13:18:04 · answer #4 · answered by westfield47130 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What has happen has allot to do with his situation before he moved in with you.
If he has been a long time bachelor then he probably got used to things being his way.
If he had a over-protected mother then he may see women as servants and "Mommy's"
Last and worst of all, he may think that all the hard work is done, he can lay back and enjoy the spoils of his victory.
Try a little flirting at the local pub, stop being available to his and when he leaves his stuff all over the place throw selected items away, then play dumb when he asked where his sticky left shoe is..
Good luck
2006-09-26 12:35:32 · answer #5 · answered by Randy M 1 · 2⤊ 1⤋
You didn't say how long you knew him before moving in, but obviously not long enough. He has reached his goal so, for him, the race is over. Run fast and far from this creep and the next time you start a relationship, plan on getting to know the guy before you move in. That is what dating is supposed to be about.
2006-09-26 12:03:37 · answer #6 · answered by stationarybiker 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you just answered your own question, they just don't care anymore. You must find a way to talk about this and fix it because if not he will be much worse once married. They definitely do not act like this when dating, I would've also ran the other way. Divorce is expensive, so do not get married if he's not willing to cooperate.
2006-09-26 12:01:09 · answer #7 · answered by Erika M 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
MOST MEN ARE LIKE THIS FROM THE BEGINNING OF A RELATIONSHIP. Unfortunatley you never really get to see that side of them until you live together. they all sulk like children , when they dont get there own way .
if your not happy then throw him out and get on with your own life.
2006-09-26 12:22:39 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Most men try their best to convince a girl and stealing her heart by extra devotion and passion,but because it's not real when they get home they go back to their own routine just to relax and rest,lucky you that you found that out before getting more involved,accept the fact THIS is him,not the one you were dating,make your decision!
2006-09-26 12:42:59 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think it might be because that once you have moved in, the man might think yes! shes not going anywhere now and finally starts to show his true colours.
Opposed to you not living with him he might be insecure that you are not infront of his eyes and decides to woo you all the time to keep you by his side, or ultimately move you in with him.
2006-09-26 11:58:18 · answer #10 · answered by Conspicuously Inconspicuous 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋