I married the man...Mr. Right. He's so right it feels like we were meant to be. So, there's always a fly in the ointment, right? Yeah, he came with baggage. A miserable babymomma, and a child he cannot see. We support the child, and always have, but the ex keeps calling me and asking me for money. Does she think we have a moneytree in our yard? I mean, we have never given her reason to believe that we wouldn't be sending money. And we send money on time, every month. Every penny! Yet she makes it impossible to talk to his child! Whenever he calls and the babymomma is home, she asks about money before she lets him talk to his daughter. Oh, but one day we called and spoke to the child, and she had the nerve to call and "confirm" that we had "called the child the other day". Not-to-mention...whenever we actually get to speak to the child, either her, or her mother stays on the other line, and whenever the conversation starts going along, they take the phone away from the child!
2006-09-26 11:54:36 · 22 answers · asked by NATALIE 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
We cannot exactly afford to go visit all the time, but we do when we can. Sure, she may be jealous, but I have not given her the impression that we are rich...what is wrong with her? She herself, as calmly as ever admitted to my usband that she never loved him, she did it for child support. And her mother backs her up. Isnt that something?!
Anyways, I am sure that other women have been through a situationb like this. I need your wisdom. How am I supposed to handle the situation?
2006-09-26 11:58:18 · update #1
The child is 5 years old.
2006-09-26 12:08:44 · update #2
1st. Get an attorney.
2nd. He needs to have child support set up through the state. If it's not, she can come back on you. In my state, even if your sending her money, it doesn't count towards child support, it has to go through the child support enforcement agency. Anything given directly to her is considered a gift. It may suck to do it that way, but it takes the control out of her hands. They will figure your payments based on what both of the parents make, but not the step parent. Their income is immune in most cases. If she has no job she would more than likely be figured at minimum wage.
3rd . He needs to petition the court for visitation. She will not be allowed to interfere with your visitation or phone calls. If she does, she will be in contempt of court. She will be fined and if she continues to interfere, she will be jailed. Visitation is not awarded based on child support. She cannot deny you visitation for failure to pay, however (here anyway) the state can take your drivers license or your tax refunds if you don't pay.
To get the control out of her hands I would do this asap.
In long distance circumstances, she may even be required to meet you half way if it is drivable, or your child support may be offset to cover the costs for visitations.
2006-09-26 12:09:17 · answer #1 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What you know about babymomma and what is true may be two totally different things. You think Mr. Right is honest, but, apparently there was a reason why Mr Right is no longer with Babymomma. You don't mention how old the child is. As a single mother, I can tell you, children are devastatingly affected by everything that happens in their lives. The loss of a parent is hurtful whether the parents break up or die. You need to be patient and always keep in mind that an innocent child is in the middle of this. It's hard to do... believe me... it's very very hard to do... but you need to do this for the child.
2006-09-26 18:59:07 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Boy I guess we all get a T shirt on this one.. The only true what to correct this is always keep record of payment and you really might have to go to court.. to get a set visitation order in place so she can't control the money or the time frame what he's willing wants to hang out with his child.. Sometimes you can't let a woman control what really goes down... Let her know we can take this to the courts and let them set the visitation as a COURT order violate and go to JAIL..
We are too old to play games,, I can see if he was a dead beat dad.. a child only gets one life you can't spend if fighting, pulling hair the child loses every time in the end... Keep the faith and keep praying for strength.. you don't have to like her one bit, just show respect.
2006-09-26 19:37:19 · answer #3 · answered by M M 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How old is this child? And "Baby's momma"?
As long as your husband is paying child support each and every month (on time and correct amount) he has a right to see this child. Contact a family lawyer.....usually the "charge" is around $50.00 for lawyer to send a letter definitely explaining this and this nonsense will stop.
I married a man w/two girls.......problems with "Mom" in the beginning. One day I called her (hubby not home) and had it out w/her.......problem was Mother-in-law starting troubles, not her!
Today, kids are raised/married.......husbands died young.....and we are the best of friends!! Helps when there are kids involved from previous marriages to try and make it work for the kids sake! Makes life easier/happier on the 2nd marriage also!
Today, these kids refer to each other as brothers, sisters and no one had better say anything different! Kinda nice!
2006-09-26 19:04:01 · answer #4 · answered by Rodeored 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the best advice I can give you is go to a free consultation with a lawyer and explain the situation and see what advice that can give you on what to do. That is messed up and I wonder if she's jealous that you two are married and she's using the child as a punishment to him for being with you. Sounds like he has to pay in order for him to talk to his own child. As long as she's getting her money on time then she shouldn't interfere with his talking or seeing her. He's the child's father and he has rights. Could be that she is so money hungry or just hung up on the money part that she uses the child as her way to get it. That is so messed up. In my divorce papers it states that when my children talk to their dad that they have privacy just as it is the same for me when they are at his house. So something can be done you just have to do it legally. I wish you the best with this.
2006-09-26 19:02:14 · answer #5 · answered by babieshay27 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A situation like that it may be worth getting a mediator, and get visiting rights and see the child then. Also if he is paying support, he does not have to give her a penny more that has to be up to him. If I woman can get more they will try. You didn't mention how old the child was. Good luck anyhow
2006-09-26 18:58:59 · answer #6 · answered by janeysmith36 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Have you considered going to court to get visitation rights, as you and your husband are supporting this child.
He has rights to see his daughter, I would suggest that you go and see a lawyer and get things rolling.
Also with the mother and grandmother listening in on phone calls is an invasion of privacy, but they could be concerned about the conversation that is being had.
Please seek legal advice.
Good Luck
2006-09-26 18:59:20 · answer #7 · answered by Kym 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My partner and I had the same problem. Only there were 2 ex's and 3 kids. what a bloody nightmare. it was hard for us to support all those kids and my 2.
He never saw his children either, they were in another country. On the occasions he did get to speak with them they would tell him that the their mother told them he wasn't paying child support and that's why they shouldn't speak to him.
How nasty and cruel. He had to move from his own country to earn more money to pay the child support.
2006-09-26 19:05:29 · answer #8 · answered by luckycat 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her she doesn't need more money. The money he has been ordered by the courts to send her is for the child, not for her, and so if she needs more money, then she needs to get a job.
He may need to speak to his divorce attorney to find out what he can do about uninterrupted and free access to being able to speak to his daughter. Hopefully he has visitation rights, and doesn't have any problems being able to see her... if not , again, he needs to discuss this with his divorce attorney.
2006-09-26 19:00:19 · answer #9 · answered by eric l 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
sorry for the trouble that your having, what you should do is consult someone about what shes doing when you guys are trying to talk to the child. i dont know about you guy's visitation rights or anything but something needs to be done about her taking control of everything and always asking about money. if she keeps calling for money when you've already paid, get her for harrassment. it really sucks that it has to be that way. especially for the child.
2006-09-26 18:58:19 · answer #10 · answered by scion_xb_girly 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋