My fiancee Mike and I have been together for almost 3 years. We got engaged Sept 1st.We used to have sex at least 5 times a week, he would always start it because he says he has a very high sex drive. But for the last month we have had sex maybe once a week if I'm lucky. His reason being either he's too tired or that he wants me to approch him. I dont approch him becuase I think if I have to do it then he doesnt really want it, and if he doesnt want it then I dont want to do it. he also says our sex has gotten boring...but we've done everything that I can think of. I don't know what to do, I'm just so confused. Can you help me? I'm starting to think he's cheating since he doesnt act like he wants sex with me...or could it be that he is just too tired or too bored. I can't see that since he had such a high sex drive before. I dunno, please help me.
2006-09-26 11:50:05 · 18 answers · asked by faery1219 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
what do you wear to bed? when at home, dress sexy - a little lace cami that is comfortable yet hot!!! Go to bed naked after you've moisturized with baby oil, get a brazilian wax! Get yourself in the mood for sex.....let him walk in on you touching yourself....you don;t have to walk up to him and say "let's do it".....explore your options honey - life is too short to be shy about letting your man (soon to be husband) know that you want to make love!!! You're together for life. You need to learn what he likes and satisfy the need honey - or someone (or something) else will. Get on it!
2006-09-26 12:21:09 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sex 5x per week is alot of sex! Maybe he is bored because you are doing it so often. It is hard to build sexual tension when you are constantly doing it. Also, you have created a rule unilaterally that effects both of you: the rule is that you won't approach him because then you feel he is not interested in having sex with you. If he has to always approach you and you are used to having sex 5x per week, that places a great deal of responsibility on his shoulders. Often in relationships people create rules unbeknowst to the partner and then act accordingly and are often dissappointed when the partner doesn't abide by the rule. He is not a mind reader. Be careful with that pattern of behavior in all areas of your relationship because it can lead to communication problems and a lack of compatibility down the line. You are clearly a very sexual woman so why not take the initiative and approach him sometimes too. As a man, I am always glad to hear about a woman who is really into having sex regularly with the man that she loves. That is a beautiful thing.
I don't think that he is sleeping around simply because he probably is too tired. Maybe you can pleasure yourself (more?)when he is not interested and then fantasize about him or whatever: you probably could build sexual tension that way - not that you need it. You have one of those good problems. Well all I can say is continue being horny but just allow time for the both of you to come up for air every now and again (pun intended).
2006-09-26 19:14:12 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try mixing things up a bit. Don't make this a big "high pressure" thing. Try changing some lifestyle stuff. Maybe start going to the gym more (together), or try some new recipes at dinner.
It is SO easy to get into a rut. Break out of it.
As to the sex itself, don't hesitate to approach him. Don't think that if he doesn't go first, he's not interested. You are putting all the pressure on him that way.
Try something completely new. Shock him. Maybe try something a little dangerous: do it in the car in a secluded spot, go to his office, shut the door and tear off a quickie. Etc, etc, etc. Things may have gotten monotonous for him. Stir them up a bit.
2006-09-26 19:01:35 · answer #3 · answered by AngiesHusband 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why can't you approach him for sex? Are you shy to do that? Its nothing wrong for girls to do that and sometimes its kind of turn on for guys! (my boyfriend loves when I do that) You two are together for 3 years not 3 days! You should try to make a first moves sometimes. I some what understand him feeling your should approach every once in a while.... Try and see it works! Spice up the sex life a little!! Good luck!! If it doesn't work, its possible that he might be cheating...
2006-09-26 18:57:42 · answer #4 · answered by sunflower222 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its not that he doesn't still have a high sex drive. By telling you to approach him about it means he WANTS you to do that. Sex is a 2 way street you will have to make some effort in instigating sex or he will get bored in a hurry and then you will be having sex 1 a month.
2006-09-26 18:52:04 · answer #5 · answered by smilestoomuch 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Has his health changed any? Because that can make a huge decline.
Girl, start jumping his bones. Plan special things, like a weekend trip to a hotel. Watch porn with him and see what happens. If that does not work get the little blue pill for him.
If that doesn't work you need to check around, because if you go looking for something you just might find it.
2006-09-26 18:56:49 · answer #6 · answered by just me 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He really wants you to initiate it. He wants to know that you want it too. Sounds like you don't if he doesn't. That wouldn't give me much of a sex drive either. Do you just lay there and wait for it to be over or do you really get into it? Try seducing him for a change. Tell him how much you want him. If you don't, someone else will.
2006-09-26 19:08:48 · answer #7 · answered by tko43078 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
1) he could be cheating and therefore losing interest, but that would take more detective work
2) he could be too tired, if so give him a break, snuggle with him massage his feet, make him feel loved
3) he should NOT have to be the one who initiates sex all the time (may he thinks that if he has to do it then you really don't want it!). You should absolutely initiate sex - make it fun again (whipped cream is good) - sexy lingerie - strip poker - spice it up!
2006-09-26 18:58:58 · answer #8 · answered by RT 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
THE INTERNET IS A WONDERFUL PLACE. I WANTED TO LEARN HOW TO PLEASE MY MAN BY GIVING HIM A BJOB. I WENT AND DID A SEARCH ON IT AND BAM I EVEN WAS ABLE TO LEARN SOME ADVANCED TECHNIQUES ON IT. IT YOU WANT TO TRY SOMETHING DIFFERENT THEN HONEY GO AND DO A SEARCH ON THE NET AND TRUST ME THERE ARE SITES OUT THERE THAT EVEN HAVE VIDEO LEARNING.
MY ADVICE IS THE NEXT TIME HE LAYS DOWN ONSIDE OF YOU I WANT YOU TO PLEASURE HIM LIKE YOU NEVER PLEASURED HIM BEFORE AND BRING HIS SEX DRIVE BACK TO LIFE
2006-09-27 07:31:07 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
mabey hes tired of always having to start it.. surprise him one day and start it yourself.. do something that u know he really likes. try to do it on a day when u know he doesnt have a lot of things to do... mabey a weekend or something..
start of with his favorite meal or a romantic dinner ... wear something sexy and surprise him with some new moves.....
u go girl!
2006-09-26 19:05:35 · answer #10 · answered by beatle102092 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋