My mother in law and I do not get along. I have tried to get along with her but nothing I can do can make her like me. She has blamed me for things that I absolutly had nothing to do with. Same thing for my sister in law. They are mean to me. My mother in law, has said that she hopes her son's marriage to me ends, that we get a divorce, and he comes home to her. My husband and I had a problem and he moved into her house for a bit. Now I hear my husband say simular things to what she has said. He is over at her place and though I have tried to save my marriage I feel that he is being influenced by his mother and sister who dislike me since he is around them all the time. He said he would get consoling with me, but his mother said no that he shouldn't go and now he won't. I can't even call over there to talk to my husband. I want to work things out with my husband, and I think that her meddling doesn't help. There's no boundaries with her. How do I stop her, and save my marriage to him?
2006-09-26 11:50:03 · 21 answers · asked by Evie 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
ditch the mommas boy find a man
2006-09-26 12:04:19 · answer #1 · answered by mikebrennan_us 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have learned the hard way, when you deal with a "mamas boy" you have to use different tactics. Like do things for him his mama can't. Be patient if he is away from her very long enough and can stand back and look at the whole picture, he might come around. Start to steely point things out that she says against you. Stand up for yourself with her, if he sees you won't take her crap, then he will have to decide to either "grow up" and love you above all else, or stay behind his mama's skirt and not have anyone but her. She doesn't want to let him from under her thumb, and makes him feel like she is the only one that can love and take care of him. Show her different, kill her with kindness. Show him you are Turing to get along, and all she does is put you down for it.
Maybe if he has to go back and live with her, they would both see how much you really do for the man.
2006-09-26 12:26:07 · answer #2 · answered by Joner 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2016-10-01 09:49:48 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My friend had gone through this same issue with her mother in law. The problem is that your husband seems to be a mommy's boy and doesn't want to say no to his mother. The problem lies with him, not you. The only thing that you can do is sit your husband down and tell him that he needs to stand up for you as his wife and he will not tolerate her actions towards you. If his mother wants him completely in her life that bad she will have to listen to him or he wont come around. He is married to you now and that is where his loyalty should lay, especially if you are not mistreating his mother. If he is not willing to stand up for you then you are going to be fighting a losing You only have one life, live it how you want to live it and don't settle. Good Luck
2006-09-26 12:02:55 · answer #4 · answered by wintersimjp 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds to me like you are where you shouldn't be. I would like to ask though, did you get this feeling before you got married or after you got married? You have to remember that blood is thicker than water, and if your husband is still beholding to his mother then that will never change and if mom doesn't like you then guess what? After a while junior isn't going to like you much either. There is no saving here. If your man does not stick up for you when your in-laws talk smack about you, then HE has very little respect for you. Maintain your self respect and split...
2006-09-26 11:58:52 · answer #5 · answered by Jay 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My take:
Your problem is with your husband, not his mother. You are avoiding the real issue when you describe it in terms of her.
I think you need to demand two things immediately. First, that your husband moves home. Second, that you two get into counseling immediately.
You can't "stop her". You are powerless over her. But you have the right to expect that your husband act like a man, and not a little boy running home to mommy. Tell him to sack up or you are going straight to your lawyer.
2006-09-26 11:53:41 · answer #6 · answered by AngiesHusband 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't even try to call over there. I'd just leave him be. If he realizes that you haven't called maybe he will start missing you and come back home. But i wouldn't wait around on him i'd find me a nice man to hang out with and get to know and just have someone to talk too. And if he doesn't come back soon then i'd say the hell with him and his family and get a divorce and move on. If he wants to be a mommas boy then let him. Don't wait around on him to long. Your missing out on good things with another man. Good luck with whatever happens.
2006-09-26 12:01:35 · answer #7 · answered by BadAssGirlINWV 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to go over there and get this all out in the open. Go there and try to mend things with him and also try to mend things with the sister in law and mother in law - ask them straight out why they don't like you and why they are hoping your marriage ends.
2006-09-26 11:53:15 · answer #8 · answered by Rawrrrr 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How do you stop her and save your marriage to him? Impossible! You have two choices, you either have to live with both of them in your life or, none of them in your life. He isn't going to leave his mama. I would tell mama if she pays for the divorce and gives you some money, you will leave tomorrow....which you should. Then find someone who knows how to treat a woman. You don't need that BS.
2006-09-26 11:54:45 · answer #9 · answered by tko43078 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My mother-in-law tried pulling some sh*t when my husband & I were first married...I gave my husband the ultimatum of sleeping with me or sleeping with his mother...I told him to make the decision and stick to it because he wasn't going to have it both ways. Amazing how quickly he called his mother and told her to keep her nose in her own business and to find a way to get along with me or she'd risk losing him. She cried and threw a fit, but he loved me enough to stick to his guns and called his mother off my azz! Hope your man is as real as mine is.
2006-09-26 16:04:58 · answer #10 · answered by midge 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry but there is no way to stop her - I suggest getting rid of the momma's boy once and for all! You'll never have a moments peace if you stay with him. He can't run his own life without checking with mommy and sister first. RUN!!
2006-09-26 12:13:54 · answer #11 · answered by ? 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋